Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 123 Share Tweet Share
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML I agree, your life sucks 39 506 You deserved it 3 261
Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 099 You deserved it 6 205
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 516 You deserved it 433
Today, I met an old school friend at a leisure centre swimming pool. We talked for a while and then walked to the end of the pool. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she kneed me in the nuts and pushed me into the water. Once I got up from the water, she told me It was for being mean to her at school. FML I agree, your life sucks 481 You deserved it 939
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML I agree, your life sucks 73 625 You deserved it 4 411
Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity, I sent him a song I'd written for him, about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him, claiming he had written it. They're now back together. FML I agree, your life sucks 61 308 You deserved it 22 832