Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
Today, I told my dad that my boyfriend and I were thinking about moving in together. Without missing a beat, he looked at my boyfriend and said, “Brave man. You sure you want to sign up for 24/7 mood swings and hair in the drain?” My boyfriend laughed. A little too hard for my liking. FML
Today, at my store, I had an old man violently accuse me of charging him for an extra pack of 99¢ Mounds candy yesterday. He held up my line for 10 minutes, fighting me about it. I didn't even work yesterday. FML
Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were telling each other secrets, so I told him I shaved my upper lip. He said, "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML
The cat was thinking "MAMA MIA MAMA MIA LET ME GO!"
At least it was a good song.