Intimacy, Covid Lockdown Covidiots just wanna have fun

Covidiots just wanna have fun

Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59

Today, I've been in lockdown for so long, I got turned on by washing carrots. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Lockdown boredom

Anonymous - 20/12/2020 02:08 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, thanks to 10 months of lockdown, the most intimate thing I have done on a Saturday night during this time is use a hobby knife to cut 1/4" thick calluses off my feet. I don't even walk anywhere. FML

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Gordon says you SUCK

James - 01/04/2020 17:00

Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML

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That Monday feeling

Ed. - 20/07/2020 05:01

Today, I have to go into work for the first time since the Covid-19 lockdown. I've been working from home since March. Today was also the first time since going on lockdown that I cut myself shaving. FML

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Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

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Send help!

- 30/05/2019 23:30 - India - Pune

Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML

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Anonymous - 28/11/2014 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

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Accomplished

Stevey - 24/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML

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Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

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HBCruiser - 14/07/2019 02:30

Today, I’m sitting in my living room, smelling onions frying. My house is all closed up. I’m not cooking anything. FML

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Partaaaaaaaay !

Anonymous - 11/02/2021 23:01 - Germany

Today, being unemployed and under lockdown, my idea of a party is driving to the dentist and turning the sound system up in my car. FML

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hdisnfjs91 21

Sunday 29 August 2021 17:26

Do you live in Australia by any chance.

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 29 August 2021 7:22

Food and nourishment are always aphrodisiacs, pandemic or not

Jonkbaby 22

Sunday 29 August 2021 7:22

Food and nourishment are always aphrodisiacs, pandemic or not

hdisnfjs91 21

Sunday 29 August 2021 17:26

Do you live in Australia by any chance.

xaonng 5

Monday 30 August 2021 16:41

get a cucumber and make a salad I guess...bigger than most dudes anyways

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

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Today, my long-distance British boyfriend of 7 years canceled his plane ticket to visit me in the USA. He claims he "doesn't have enough money" to stay for 2 weeks. As I began canceling all the reservations, he called to say he bought a new car and a house. FML

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Today, my husband quit his teaching job, the job putting bread and butter on the table for our family. The reason? He wants to date one of his students he’s been seeing on the side, and wants to make the relationship "official and ethical." FML

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Today, I went to meet my boyfriend for a walk. It's our anniversary, and I hadn't seen him in over a month because of the quarantine, so we agreed to meet, as long as we had the proper safety gear and were careful. On my way to meet him, I drove past a park. In it were twelve half-naked teenagers playing volleyball. FML

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Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

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Today, my wife gave me the green light to have sex with other women. She beat the cancer, but sex for her is now painful and she wasn't really interested in sex the last 10 years anyway. So why does my life suck? Because I don't want sex with anyone else. Now she's mad at me for making her feel guilty. FML

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