Intimacy: Backfire

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 481

You deserved it 4 970

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Same thing different taste

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 162

Surprise

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 829

You deserved it 4 505

By Poopamus - 23/04/2019 14:00

Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 204

You deserved it 623

Oh, hi Sharon!

By graveyard-sh*t - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 265

Surprised indeed

By Wuuut - 30/10/2025 09:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 75

By GDBeast - 09/01/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 497

You deserved it 6 320

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 963

You deserved it 71 829

Freak out

By Brave - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 841

PTSD

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 482

You deserved it 45 198

Nag nag nag

By Whipped like cream - 14/07/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 218

passinthrough 1

Tuesday 12 May 2015 17:55

Do both of you agree that you have a relationship? Cause it doesn't sound like she's in on it.

LeavenSilva 27

Tuesday 12 May 2015 17:52

Some people honestly need to think about how appropriate their "jokes" are... I mean, calling the cops is a bit far for a joke

Comments

Jason89 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:51

i agree with you #3, i know i would say someone was breaking in

WintersChild 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:59

She "didn't feel like seeing you" so you go to her anyways are you dumb?

leogachi 15

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:29

"Surprise her at work." I don't think he told her he was going to see her.

vikky538 28

Tuesday 12 May 2015 19:59

I feel like the story is little different from what i am hearing

AngryRabbit 2

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:09

Dump. Her. Bitch.

pickle682 17

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:17

She knows that you think you two are dating right? If she does then you should dump her because that's horrible

fallen_dragonkin 12

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:19

not much of a girlfriend

spyder21 4

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:34

that kind of reaction tells me that this isn't really his girlfriend. I.e he's stalking her.

Krwman 8

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:43

That's not too subtle on her part. Or, you're incredibly dense!

leogachi 15

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:47

Why the hell is everyone assuming his gf told him she didn't want to see him before he went to her work? Surprising someone means you don't tell them before you do something. I thought that was common knowledge, but apparently it isn't.