Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML
Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML
Today, I was nursing my baby in the park while my older kids played. A man stormed over and started screaming how vulgar and disgusting I was being, and how he didn’t want his kids exposed to “all that”. He and his buddies were all shirtless and playing vulgar music loudly through a speaker. FML
Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML
Play Jay-Zs "99 problems"
At least he's playing pre crack Whitney