Relatable

Seventh heaven

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 06:00

Today, during sex I blurted out, “Oh god yes, put a baby in me!” He lost his boner instantly because he doesn’t want kids. I don’t even know why I said it, I don’t want kids either. In fact I warned him before we started dating that I never want kids, so if he did want kids he should date someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 727

The grass is never actually greener

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 06:00

Today, I felt a fear that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t going to last. There’s nothing inherently wrong, yet I find myself thinking of breaking up with him. A lot. I love him and feel like I’m already part of his family, and that's something I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 359

From the heart

By Anonymous - 18/01/2022 22:59

Today, after agreeing to marry my boyfriend, he started spouting crap about converting to his religion, and how I’d need to take lessons from his mother on how to be a proper wife to him at all times, like, EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO? DUMPED. See ya later, douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 683

You deserved it 455

Friends

By TheEpicWario - 07/04/2022 06:00

Today, my best friend confronted his girlfriend and I due to rumors of the two of us sleeping together. We had to spend half an hour explaining to him that when we "smash", it's the two of us playing Smash Brothers together at her place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 780

Every home should have one

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 887

You deserved it 4 594

Leech

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 00:00

Today, my daughter broke up with her boyfriend and moved back in with me, because he kept doing things like inviting her on dates, trying to talk to her, and even, god forbid, trying to have sex with her. All this apparently got in the way of her watching anime 24/7. I'm never getting rid of her, am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 501

Hangry

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 697

Thanks for nothing

By BrittanyP - 25/06/2023 12:00

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 287

My eyes! My eyes!

By someone - 29/07/2011 18:26 - United States

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 850

You deserved it 5 396

Can you be a little more specific?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'm pretty sure I destroyed a friendship irreparably. I was trying to do a nice thing, but it backfired in an awful way. I know it's my fault. I really wanted to be that person's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 333

My eyes!

By alyssabree42 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Estacada

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 126

You deserved it 23 632

Anyone fancy a pint?

By Apolline - 24/10/2022 10:00 - France

Today, it's my birthday. It's also the day of my grandmother's funeral. I spent most of my 21st birthday in a cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 142

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 89

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 19:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, it seems that I've gained so much weight that not even my iPhone can recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 386

Random Access Memories

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00

Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 298

Not everyone's cup of tea

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 20:00

Today, I’ve noticed that my boyfriend gets progressively more short-tempered and grumpy as time goes on, until we get to the Friday before we drop my kids off at their dad's house, then for that weekend he’s downright happy, until we have to pick them up Sunday night then he starts getting grumpy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 684

Emotional support

By A very comforting thought indeed - 09/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, it occurred to me just how dependent I am on my parents, and that I would be totally fucked if something happened to them. The state of the world right now makes it impossible for young people to get anywhere. Especially one who can't drive and can barely talk to anyone without having a panic attack. AKA: Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 565

Be careful what you wish for

By Anonymous - 06/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Tampa

Today, after I quit a career job in my 30s for job in natural medicine, 100s of thousands in student debt, it's not as lucrative as I thought. No health insurance, savings, or pension. My midlife friends are on autopilot to retiring. I'm just praying I don't get sick so I can work until my 80s and die. Apparently not the best choice, and sucks to think about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 728

That's kind of a big issue

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 02:30

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years, who I love with every fiber in my body, just told me that he's not attracted to me. Not in any way, shape, or form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 139

How's it going?

By Only me - 10/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was texting my mom about a surprise visit, and autocorrect changed "surprise" to "surgery." I hit send before noticing, and now she thinks I’m planning some major medical procedure, and has been calling me nonstop to check if I’m OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 119

Phasing out

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 18:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I just started working in my core job domain, and all the guys working with me are giving up on their their jobs, because there's no future for it. It sucks being a mechanical design engineer in a country full of IT companies who just want us to convert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 145

Nice guy

By Catherine - 13/05/2021 11:01

Today, I announced to my boyfriend of 5 years that I was pregnant. He gave me an ultimatum. Either I "get rid of it" because he’s "not ready to be a dad" or he’ll "put me out on the streets." I’m unemployed and have nowhere to go if I keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 412

Malding

By Recessive Reece - 12/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I'm the only one in my family who doesn't need glasses and who isn't lactose intolerant. However, I'm the only one in my family rapidly balding at the age of 25. Even my grandparents on both sides have full heads of hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 84

Get used to it

By Anonymous - 13/01/2023 06:00

Today, my dad farted loudly at the dinner table, mom called him a disgrace of a human being, dad called her an uptight cow, she slapped him, and 10 minutes later they were upstairs having sex. This isn’t even that unusual, this is just Wednesday night dinner time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 212

Unloved

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 08:03

Today, my dad lied and said he was busy working, all because he didn't want to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 149

Confused as hell

By Anonymous - 23/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into the kitchen to grab a snack, only to forget why I was there. I left and remembered what I wanted, but when I came back, I forgot again. I did this three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 192

Outrage monger

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 20:00

Today, my sister blamed me for everything again. We're twins and have the same friends, but they all like her better because she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, and I'm sick of her getting mad at me, copying me, blaming me and making my life miserable for no reason. Why does everyone think I'm so pathetic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 180

Sailing close the wind

By FvckMenSmh - 25/07/2022 14:00

Today, what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, my wedding day, turned into the day in hell. A friend caught my now ex kissing his friend outside. The girl he told me was “just a friend and nothing more” whenever I suspected there was indeed nothing more. Now I've found out in the worst way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 107

Social parasites

By Dank memes - 16/08/2021 22:01 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I can’t even find a place to rent. Every place has dozens of applications, with several offering well over asking price. I just graduated from college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 119

Body positive

By jade - 03/08/2022 06:00

Today, I was told I looked “too timid.” I was feeling extremely confident having aced a test, but I didn’t look like it. I’ve practiced carrying myself more confidently for hours every single day in front of a mirror, to no avail. I guess body language just isn’t my thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 155

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 292

You deserved it 2 376

Today, I went to my GP to discuss my anxiety. As I was explaining my symptoms, I accidentally farted loudly due to my nervousness. The doctor paused and said, "Well, let's address that as well." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 158

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 254

You deserved it 4 872

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 067

You deserved it 5 719

Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 315

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 129

You deserved it 17 834