Parents

Dad of the year

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 07:00

Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 267

Fashionista

By malicious_melons - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 627

You deserved it 3 596

Time to leave

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 167

Go ahead

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 04:00

Today, I spent four hours listening to my mom berating me about how I needed to throw all my stuff out as she helped move me. Over 2/3 is hers. About 1/4 is my dad’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 871

Emergencies can't be choosers

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, my mom argued with me that I should have went to an emergency room a further 18 minutes away from me, during a near fatal allergic reaction, so I would've received "better care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 86

This is not a choice

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 14:00

Today, I came out to my parents. Now my dad only refers to me as "Nancy Boy", and not in a nice way, that’s if he even bothers to speak to me at all. Mostly he just pretends I don’t exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 354

Primal scream

By lordoftheweird - 31/08/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my mom's response to everything is now screaming. Two year-old brother playing quietly? Screaming. Computer freezes? Screaming. Mailman? Screaming. We tried to get her tested but no doctor can stand her for more than ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 81

Gross

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 15:59 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I confronted my mother because I lock my bedroom door everytime I leave the house, then when I came home, the door was open and ajar. She got really defensive and said it's because she and her boyfriend want to make passionate whoopie on my king-size bed because it's bigger than her full-size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 138

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By me. - 22/07/2023 10:00

Today, I told my mom that I'm bulimic and have been for a few years, and that I needed help. She responded by saying, "Well that's clearly not working for you. Why don't you try anorexia?" She then patted me on the head, smiled, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 154

Incognito browsing

By Anonymous - 26/05/2020 23:00

Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 2 476

Alexa, play "Hawaii" by Public Image Ltd

By Anonymous - 02/08/2023 12:00

Today, my mom has gotten to the stage of her Alzheimer’s where every time I visit she thinks I’m a burglar, and screams and cries until I leave. My dad does his best, but I just want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 104

Mooch

By Laura - 12/12/2022 12:00

Today, my mom made a comment on how “illegal immigrants” should just come legally and do it the right way, so they “wouldn’t be illegal and mooching off American taxpayers.” This is coming from someone who married someone she didn’t even love, my ex-stepdad for a green card and citizenship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 204

Memory man

By Dad Fail - 07/02/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 127

This season on Succession…

By DeathBySquirrelsShallBeHis - 10/07/2022 04:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my dad started openly playing favorites among his kids, just to start drama. I had to warn my little sister - the favorite - that he was using her senior photos to do it. I'm gonna kill him, and get her a better dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 148

Chill out, Ross

By sad composer noises - 02/06/2021 20:01

Today, every time I practice my synthesizer, without fail, my stepmom decides to make as much noise as humanly possible. Slamming doors, stomping around in her loudest heels, dropping weights, screaming, you name it. I can hear her through my noise cancelling headphones and I can’t focus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 168

Fortunate Son

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 23:35 - United States - Wichita

Today, I had a look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 983

You deserved it 1 968

It's not karaoke night, mom

By RadioactiveKush - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Monroe

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream, "YEAH", "WOO HOO", and, "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing 'Amazing Grace' in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 781

You deserved it 2 596

Painful

By rise - 08/05/2021 10:59

Today, I had a massive, pounding headache. I asked my mom for some painkillers and she said, "No. You don’t deserve pain relief. Ever. For anything." What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 98

Randy Daddy

By franzbiel - 31/10/2009 12:54 - Switzerland

Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 063

You deserved it 2 573

Harsh

By jet - 19/02/2023 00:00

Today, I overheard my mom talking about how she would love me if only I didn’t have ADHD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 117

Have we met?

By Perpetual shrugging - 26/10/2021 02:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was in a group chat with my mother and siblings. Midway through, my mom specifically tells my siblings how proud she is of them, and how they’ve always been by their side and loves them. I wasn’t even included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 91

Privacy violation

By privacy! - 02/05/2021 08:02

Today, I asked my mom to help my daughter with Zoom school while I handled an emergency. When I got back, I found out my mom went through my laptop containing all my documents, my emails and even the journal my therapist suggested I keep. She says she was looking for a Zoom link. Yeah right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 185

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 607

You deserved it 2 646

Bailed out

By poorchild - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 755

You deserved it 3 027

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 82

Stellar parenting

By joi9496 - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 725

You deserved it 482

Anger issues

By Hannah - 25/10/2021 11:00

Today, without context, I overheard my daughter saying that she would “literally rather have mercury poisoning than have her mother yell at her one more time.” She’s 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 966

Falling down

By Ouch - 26/06/2021 11:01 - Serbia

Today, I learned how it feels like when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot, landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 126

Be careful what you wish for

By lordoftheweird - 20/07/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my mom is upset that she can't get a date, but my dad can. This is the woman who doesn't shower, has a drug problem, and was arrested for spying on a local kindergartener. She was the one who demanded a polyamorous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 99

I'm up here

By Pooped - 21/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, apparently my parents called 911 because I wasn't answering their phone calls, so they thought something was wrong. I was in the bathroom and didn't bring my phone, so I wouldn't distract myself and ended up sitting there forever. Looks like that wasn't the right choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 138

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 574

You deserved it 35 775

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 118

You deserved it 10 674

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 174

You deserved it 40 593

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 54 578

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 554

You deserved it 10 189

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 666

You deserved it 4 998