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Mistaken identity

By Crushed - 09/03/2026 15:00

Today, I saw a man at the gym glancing at me. I went over and said, "Are you ogling me?" kind of low key flirtatiously. He said, "No, I'm working out. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 644

Gimme my money

By PrettyGirlCrookedMouth - 27/03/2026 09:00

Today, someone was sent to our house to fix our broken garage door. Mom asked me to pay for it, telling me she'd pay me back this weekend. It was supposed to be about $300 and some change. The door was so broken, it ended up costing $1000, cleaning out my whole savings account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 59

Love is hell

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 03:00

Today, after my long distance "boyfriend" told me he loved me more than the world, he asked for advice on how to talk to girls. He already has a girl from class in mind. What's worse is that I actually haven't broken up with him yet because I know about his home life. I can't help but feel like I wasted my time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 360

Boredom

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 12:00

Today, I'm still unemployed after almost a year because my last job couldn't transfer me when my wife and I had to move due to her job. I can't even find something like grocery store or fast food. Seriously beginning to resent her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 186

Passport bro

By ThaidUp - 31/03/2026 00:00

Today, I realized being a passport bro cost me my life’s savings and $40k credit card debt. I married a beautiful petite Thai girl molded out of my dreams, only for her to tell me six years later that she’s leaving me for her husband in Thailand. She’s a US Citizen now (thanks to me), and is now gonna sponsor him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 733

Scared flaccid

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend met my dad and my brother, and is now shit scared of them. I was hoping to lose my virginity to him this weekend but he’s so scared of what my dad would do if he ever found out that he couldn’t get hard no matter what I did. Thanks a lot dad, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 98

Pancake day

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 15:00

Today, I burnt my finger making pancakes for my kid. After hopping around and running the blister under cold water, I went back to finish making the pancakes and burned the same finger right on top of the new blister. An hour later it burst and the flesh is a funny colour underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 112

It's all in the game

By and then drunk dialed me - 05/04/2026 03:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, after seven months of my supporting him, including paying all the bills, cleaning the house, and cooking, my unemployed "aspiring rapper" boyfriend finally got paid for his music. Did he buy me something nice? No, he called his boys to hit the club and pissed away everything he'd earned and then some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 266

We don't need no education

By Anonymous - 09/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer going to be homeschooled and that they're putting me in regular school. I don't want to because my generation is so fucking dumb, but they won't listen to me. I won't fit in at all but they just dismiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 475

No more bring your kids to work days

By BadMom - 01/04/2026 22:00

Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 574

Relax

By Alice - 09/03/2026 22:00

Today, I felt so awful in my belly, I went to a massage therapist for help. She, like me, thought it was the stress of some recent family issues. It was more than that. Her kneading of my gut indeed relieved me by helping me have a HUGE go. One scream and a four foot turd later, I realized I'd been constipated. No longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 151

Tit for tat

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 20:00

Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 63

Red flag

By Yes, I still like him. - 25/03/2026 22:00

Today, I just discovered that the guy I really like, whom I greet with a wave and a sweet "Hi!" to everyday, wasn't really greeting me back with a "Hi!" and a wave. It was a "Heil Hitler!" with a Nazi salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 139

Surely there's a conversation to be had

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 15:00

Today, I asked my wife for a divorce because her kids hate my son and are horrible to him because they don't like that he has a dad and they don't. She's my soulmate and the love of my life, but I can't do this to him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 84

Baby daddy drama

By please love me - 03/04/2026 22:00

Today, I was on a first date with a really nice guy and, of course, when there was an awkward silence, I started talking and realized too late that I was running through my usual complaints about my worthless baby daddies. He asked how many and I said three, and he left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 010

Stop pointing out my shortcomings

By lordoftheweird - 22/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was accused of racism for mentioning that a Native American woman in my neighborhood is illiterate. She's a special needs adult waiting for an opening in a group home, I only mentioned she was illiterate because people couldn't figure it out and were upset that she couldn't read the notes they were leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 53

Atomic family

By Anonymous - 27/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out that my dad and mom, who just passed away, were never married and that my siblings and I weren't actually his. Now there's the very real possibility that we could be taken away. I'll die if that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 60

Hell no!

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents disowned me because I would not open my family's home to my sister and her family because their home burned down. My sister and her husband have twelve kids and they have the same crazy fundamentalist beliefs as the Duggar family. But my parents say, "THEY'RE FAMILY!!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 87

Saucy minx

By Anonymous - 07/04/2026 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my date realised he wasn’t getting sex, even though it was the mythical third date when sex is supposedly guaranteed, he asked for the bill while I was still halfway through my main course, paid his share to the penny, and left. He'd driven me there, so I had to get a bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 47

It's not a phase, Mom

By goldstar lesbo - 12/03/2026 03:00

Today, I split with my abusive girlfriend and moved back in with my parents. Now my mom won't stop pressuring me to get with a man and have a million kids. I hate men, absolutely despise the disgusting pigs, and wouldn't be with one if we were the only people on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 627

Saboteur

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 09:00

Today, I caught my sister red-handed trying to frame my husband for cheating. She's always been jealous that I'm in a happy marriage and she's only 31 and has already been divorced five times. I can't go no contact with her because she has two boys who I absolutely adore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 93

Charming

By Bros before hos, every time - 19/03/2026 09:00

Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 77

Lower your expectations

By Wii - 22/03/2026 22:00

Today, I'm 36 and I got told the reason I've never been on a date is because everyone I've asked on a date is too pretty for me and that I needed to look for ugly women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 198

I know what I'm doing

By Notsostrong - 30/03/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 145

Well well well…

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 09:00

Today, my ex-wife's kids, who I dumped alongside her and completely cut ties with when I found out they weren't mine, found me on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 399

Dope

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 03:00

Today, someone told me to be the adult in my kid's unexplained shunning of me. She’s 30. I just spent 3k on a graduation party. No thanks from her. Yes, I’m a dope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 160

Pair of doozies

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 22:00

Today, God blessed me with two children: one a shiftless arsehole who is definitely going to jail one day, and a neurotic overachiever destined for either a medical degree or a loony bin, and most days I can’t decide which is the biggest pain to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 392

I need it, I want it

By Asshole - 24/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 445

Unfair

By Anonymous - 06/04/2026 02:00 - United States

Today, I lost my custody battle and I have to return my grandchildren to my disowned daughter, who was allowing her now ex-husband to abuse them. I can't appeal or anything because frankly we don't have the funds. I wish I'd never had her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 78

Loose cannon

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 09:00

Today, I found out that my workplace still won't fire my coworker who is extremely rude to customers. Last week, he called a black woman the n-word right to her face. All he did was just get yelled at and told to get back to work. No matter how many complaints, they simply won't fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 67

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The Top

Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 854

You deserved it 4 443

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 28 730

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 810

You deserved it 3 443

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 851

You deserved it 5 278

Today, I'd practiced for a slam poetry night all day. When I got up on stage, I forgot all of it and, for some reason, and my brain refused to improvise around my planned themes, so I launched into a totally unrelated rant about how confusing microwaves are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 221

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 97