Kids

Let me clarify, since its very cold outside, I decided to rent a play area for my son and his friends. I was to send the invitations in his bag when he went to preschool, but I evidently forgot. The $300 was for everything, the cake, gifts, play area rental, food and a clown. I ended up making some last minute calls and quite a few people showed up.

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 18:16 - United States

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 047

You deserved it 6 597

By Anonymous - 05/10/2018 13:30

Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 162

You deserved it 198

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 326

You deserved it 3 243

By CrappyDay - 20/08/2013 17:14 - United States

Today, while working at a daycare, I had to change a kid's diaper. This may seem normal for a daycare worker, but not when it's a 7-year-old kid who is still not potty-trained and shat their pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 134

You deserved it 3 257

The Manosphere is like the Metaverse for morons

By get the fuck out! - 04/07/2023 22:00

Today, I overheard my husband’s disgusting misogynist brother saying that I shouldn’t be allowed to discipline my son, because “it’ll turn him into one of those pussy ass soyboy simps that listens to bitches.” My husband didn’t even back me when I told the douche to leave our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 241

Take a chance on me

By Anonymous - 02/05/2024 18:00 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 97

The classic argument

By assault and imnotracistbuttery - 18/04/2015 04:57 - United States - Waxahachie

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 376

You deserved it 3 071

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to get her nails done, gave her 500 spending money, took her to eat, bought her son a TV, then bought her clothes. We get to her house, she steps inside then gets furious her son had made a mess and hadn't cleaned his room. She told me to take the TV back, which I did, then got reamed for doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 293

Tetchy

By Anonymous - 16/11/2022 02:00

Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment because I won’t play Call of Duty with her brother. This kid loses his temper violently at family board games, how the fuck does she think he’ll react when he gets mercilessly wiped out by COD players who don’t give a toss about his feelings? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 158

Shooting!

By WittyMoron - 08/01/2020 01:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 3 499

Take a break

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 109

You deserved it 5 600

Time to create an OF account

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my baby daddy, who left me when I was 4 months pregnant, has an Onlyfans and makes good money. My twins are 10 months-old and he has never paid a cent for child support. I’d take him to court but I can barely pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 338

Apple juice, ************

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 17:01 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 2 914

Grow up

By BigKid - 28/01/2021 21:30

Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 137

cringe intensifies

By ShamefulShoop - 31/05/2018 19:00

Today, I took my mother grocery shopping. From the opposite end of the snack aisle, she yelled, "They don't have my darkies! Ya know how I like my darkies!” She was talking about dark pretzels. I don’t think the appalled black couple next to me knew that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 638

You deserved it 306

Knowledge

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 02:01

Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 121

So long, grandpa

By fcnk - 18/06/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 341

You deserved it 18 115

By Angela17 - 24/10/2018 05:00

Today, it's 3:42 a.m. and my son is crying because I won't let him play with his dirty diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 968

You deserved it 332

By chillnhill - 11/09/2015 02:31 - United States - Shippensburg

Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 766

You deserved it 24 651

chillnhill tells us more.

chillnhill 24

Saturday 12 September 2015 14:53

OP here, many thanks to those that saw the humor in this! For those that think "YDI", you should know that this happened a VERY long time ago and my kids have all grown up to be successful adults with rich fulfilling lives...