Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a...

By Nav - 16/06/2019 22:00

Today, I sent a sexy text to my husband while he waited for a flight home at the airport. This was his response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 767

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Same thing different taste

By ChopSuey - 01/06/2016 04:02 - United States - West Monroe

Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 898

You deserved it 1 615

By melissa1028 - 18/10/2014 02:23 - United States

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 549

You deserved it 10 309

By Anonymous - 18/01/2013 20:59 - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 007

You deserved it 6 017

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 644

You deserved it 6 625

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 349

You deserved it 1 519

By The Soul Of A Damned Queef - 31/01/2015 04:04 - United States - Dublin

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 576

You deserved it 6 585

By PapaW - 01/11/2013 07:01 - United States - Lehi

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 488

You deserved it 7 107

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 338

You deserved it 17 891

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 066

You deserved it 7 760

Access denied

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 115

chad444 5

Sunday 16 June 2019 22:12

What were you expecting from a text like that?

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 16 June 2019 22:18

What? That is sexy texting?

Comments

chad444 5

Sunday 16 June 2019 22:12

What were you expecting from a text like that?

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 16 June 2019 22:18

What? That is sexy texting?

HokieJ 10

Monday 17 June 2019 0:06

Man is hungry! Also go back to the drawing board on your sexting

distortedcognition 17

Monday 17 June 2019 0:33

No offense, but your sexting game needs CPR

inappropes 31

Monday 17 June 2019 0:51

Glad from the other replies I'm not the only one underwhelmed by your sexting. You sounded almost clinical with that lol. Like a teacher explaining.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 17 June 2019 2:18

Sorry, but that sext reads like it was written by a priest who has just abandoned her vow of chastity, and recently discovered that masturbation isn't sinful. Leave the electronic communication alone, and do the seducing in person. If you have kids, get them out of the house for the day, then wreck the place.

NPDclusterBaware 8

Monday 17 June 2019 2:21

"sexy"

icalledhisname 12

Monday 17 June 2019 5:26

Tip: make it about him! “I was thinking about you and I just had to have an ******. It was great. I can’t wait to get the real thing from you.” Or something like that, flirting with him. You merely saying something you did is not flirty!