Just Hanging On By FML Approved - 20/10/2017 20:30 It'll get better. Eventually. I agree, your life sucks 403 You deserved it 109 Share Tweet Share
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 46
Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 412 You deserved it 10 666
Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 174 You deserved it 4 746
Today, I was talking to one of the advisors at my job about how almost everyone in the workplace who owns a Toyota has strangely been in some sort of car accident in the last year. I happen to have a Toyota. Guess who was rear-ended at an intersection after leaving work. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 092 You deserved it 541
Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 646 You deserved it 46 547
Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML I agree, your life sucks 457 You deserved it 121
If that was my kid, I'd tell him to get up and walk.