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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40444) - you deserved it (3829)

On 04/10/2014 at 8:08pm - work - by mcmacmick97 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

mcmacmick97's comment about their FML

Just to clear some things up I was working the early shift, which I do on most Thursdays and Fridays. I work at a small diner that opens at 7 and had left my house around 6:40 and was going to show up around 7-7:05. My boss usually shows up around 7:15-:7:30. Now when this cop put his lights on behind me I turned down a street to get off of the main road I was on.I was getting my license/registration ready and all that shit and he pulled up to my window and said he was very sorry and he was just trying to say hi to an old friend that he said had the same car as i do. Now this road i pulled down didn't allow me to get back onto the main road, and I had to take a 15 or so minute detour to get back on track. I got there around 7:25 and my boss was already there. I was glad I didn't get a ticket, but it was still very frustrating because I would've only been a couple minutes late and my boss would never have known, but the police officer threw my time off. And ive only been working there for about 3 or so weeks so it sucks to get off on the wrong foot. I also noticed several of you talking about how many write-ups you can get before being fired, and for mine it's 3. Like somebody else said just sucks to waste one already, but i shouldnt have too much of a problem keeping myself in check. Now for the story I told him, I figured he wouldn't believe it, but had to tell anyway. He seemed more irritated that I was "lying" about being late so i probably shouldnt have even bothered. But thanks FML for posting!

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Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (4165)

On 04/10/2014 at 8:20am - work - by war_monkey (man) - Canada (Ontario)

war_monkey's comment about their FML

It started on april fools with some very lame joke and he has decided to carry on with it and screw around. Thanks for all of the funny comments and yes, I wanted to punch jeff in the face. He has stopped and I showed him the published FML, XD.

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Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (3003)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by zoegirl_455 - United States (California)

zoegirl_455's comment about their FML

Surprised this got posted guess it's twenty times the charm. So yes this fml needs a ton of explanation. The program my teacher used is turn it in. My percentage of plagiarism is 22%. Some of what is highlighted as plagiarism is my works cited and my last name, there's also some parts of sentences that are apparently plagiarized also. The paper was on historical events so much of what is highlighted are dates, names, and events. The things that my teacher said were "word from word from turn it in" were descriptions of historical events and similar things, and they were phrases, not whole sentences. When I looked at the source of plagiarism my words were apparently copied from a website I've never heard of, a student paper that I'm pretty sure is from another state, and a website I did use as a source in my paper and did cite. I did not plagiarize my paper, I spent a whole week writing it and a good portion of my weekend editing it. The most frustrating thing is that many people from my class spit out a paper two hours before it was due and got a higher grade. I am planning to talk to my teacher after school and clear this up. It's pretty ridiculous because in all my 12 years of school I've never been accused of this sooo I'm hoping my teacher will be able to understand.

To clear up the meaning of the FML, I was trying to say that my teacher basically used some program on the Internet to accuse me of plagiarism that just highlights anything that is remotely similar to something else, which resulted in a higher percentage of plagiarism. Hopefully this explanation wasn't too confusing and this cleared everything up!

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Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46557) - you deserved it (3149)

On 04/09/2014 at 12:49pm - work - by cwl727 (man) - United States (California)

cwl727's comment about their FML

So I am doing a follow up on this because for some reason a different name was put as the author, I have contacted FML about it. This happened about 2 years ago when I worked at a theme park in Orlando. The guy was buying tickets and I told him that the computer told me I had to call the credit card company. I asked if he wanted me to use a different card and he said no and was fine with me calling to get authorization. I was on hold with the company and it was taking too long for him. He started complaining and I told him I was on hold but instead of calming down he threw his coffee on me. It was not scorching hot but it was hot enough that it did burn a bit. Security came over and escorted him off the premises and he is now banned from the entire company's property. I didn't sue in fact it was just another story to tell my friends and family.

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Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39333) - you deserved it (63859)

On 04/08/2014 at 1:32am - intimacy - by Spooprfailed (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Spooprfailed's comment about their FML

Hello folks. Just wanted to clear up a few misconceptions!
1) My girlfriend is both beautiful and very fit. Which is incredibly lucky about me because...
2) We laughed hysterically about it for a while, since it was just such a ridiculous thing to come out of my mouth.

The mood WAS ruined for a little while (but not for too long ;) she's THAT awesome), but we've been laughing about it ever since. I am very happy not single (despite my scumbag brain's best efforts).

And for anyone who things this reply sounds as if I had a gun to my head and was writing whatever my gf told me to... please call 911

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Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46884) - you deserved it (4099)

On 04/07/2014 at 9:49am - love - by doemetoch (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

doemetoch's comment about their FML

OP here (yeah, I decided to make an account.) You're all right about him being very polite and all that, he was super sweet and mature about it and I could see he felt genuinely bad. But you know... somehow it's easier if a guy breaks up in a stupid way, at least then you're like "ugh, whatever, I deserve better than this anyway!" Or is that just me?

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Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (50565)

On 04/03/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by booboo300 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

booboo300's comment about their FML

Definitely not going to defend myself, it was a dumb thing to do. Although, I did whisper, not shout, an answer just to get my friend on the right track. I totally respect my teacher and it was the kind of whisper that probably would have been tried in any class with a hearing teacher as well.
She was a great teacher and I think I learned better that way. There is a mix of deaf and hearing asl teachers at my school, though.
It was amazing though, because she didn't respond to phones going off, people sneezing, people walking in late (until she saw them) and even the people bashing asl and deaf people in the hall one day.

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Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (3735)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

themonesterman's comment about their FML

Update: The point of thr FML was not to complain about giving my room for my grandma, but it was to complain about:
A) Her reasoning for not taking the guest room.
B) The cat.

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Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48385) - you deserved it (9710)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:01pm - work - by bubblooz - Canada (Ontario)

bubblooz's comment about their FML

Hey! it's the OP posting. I'm very surprised this got posted. Here is some information about the fml/my job.
1) We had a health inspector come last week and our place passed the exam. We are actually a very clean place.
2) The bug problem is being taken care of. There are traps all over the place and a pest control guy is coming in soon. Bugs are very hard to get rid of. Once eggs are laid, they will stay there forever. And the place used to be a KFC.
3) We barely see the bugs actually crawling around. That's a reason why I screamed, it was my first time actually seeing one.
4) Bugs do not go in the drinks or food. Customers watch me make their lattes, pour their coffee, heat their wraps, etc.
5)Even if the health inspector didn't come, if I was to complain and the place shut down- me and all my coworkers would lose our income. Also, typically every food place has their dirty secrets like this. Welcome to the food industry.
4) I am only 16 years old, however I need this job. I can't afford to quit. I pay my cell phone bill and majority of my necessities, and I am saving up for university.
5) I have been looking for a new job for a few months. I am handing out resumes constantly at malls and applying online. It's not easy... especially because I'm a part time student with little experience. The moment I have another job, I will give my two weeks notice in.

And also, this experience was horrifying. I screamed so loud I startled the customers. I hate bugs. Once I was finished serving the customer I ran to the bathroom, got the bug off me, and then adjusted my pants so I could tuck them into my boots.

I appreciate all the comments and the funny jokes!

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Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (4242)

On 04/01/2014 at 10:21pm - kids - by YellowKettleBell (man) - United States (Texas)

YellowKettleBell's comment about their FML

Op here....unfortunately, many kids don't come from homes that are clean and hygienic. That's especially true in economically disadvantaged homes, from which most of my kids come. Some I can tell don't bathe or wash their clothes regularly.

Yes, this is my first year. Many teachers said they had similar experiences starting out.

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Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42265) - you deserved it (5051)

On 03/30/2014 at 5:52pm - love - by haztod (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

haztod's comment about their FML

Hi, OP here - I'm super surprised this got posted! Just to clear some things up: my boyfriend is American and studying here in the UK. I have met his sister and we get along super well, but not anyone else in his family, nor do they know he's dating someone. From what I understand, his parents - especially his dad - aren't really big on relationships, especially when studying, as they can be seen as a distraction. I know for a fact that it was his mom as they usually do voice calls and I sit quietly, but she wanted a video chat so I shifted rooms on this occasion; there's definitely not another girl in the picture! I spoke to him about it after the call and explained that it upset me a little and made me feel like he had to hide me, and he was very apologetic and felt guilty - he told me this was his first serious relationship and he wasn't really sure what the right steps were in terms of parents or when they should happen which I actually found quite sweet. This is definitely not a deal breaker - he is so wonderful I wouldn't let something like this ruin our relationship! He just Skyped his mom again tonight and told her the news, so it's no longer an issue. He has met all my family and they adore him, so no issues there!

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Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML


I agree, your life sucks (43260) - you deserved it (3607)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by shabowbow - United States (Oregon)

shabowbow's comment about their FML

Thankfully I wasn't stung, and I do appreciate on the long run them hitting me with a textbook. It could've been a lot worse than a headache.

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Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52303) - you deserved it (7277)

On 03/26/2014 at 3:50am - love - by Bishy123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Bishy123's comment about their FML

I was not aware he was cheating on me until I read the text. He is no longer my boyfriend.

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