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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

#21420681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (5638)

On 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by NoMoreTacoBell - United States (Virginia)

NoMoreTacoBell's comment about their FML

Hahaha I never thought this would get posted! So the long story is, me and this boy have been best friends for a long time, Taco Bell and burping contests are a regular part of our friendship (and many other less-gross things). First of all let's clear up that I DID NOT VOMIT in his mouth. Not that a burp is much better but oh well. We just started dating recently so I was mortified, but our being best friends helped us both laugh it off in the end. Definitely should have called this one TacoBelch.

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Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

#21420447
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (2377)

On 06/03/2015 at 10:14pm - misc - by MdMan2 - United States (Virginia)

MdMan2's comment about their FML

OP here. The movie was the new avengers. And yea, I'm ok. Thanks for asking.

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Today, my 14 years old brother and 9 years old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

#21419912
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28535) - you deserved it (3051)

On 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm - misc - by Zufallian - United States (Michigan)

Zufallian's comment about their FML

Hey guys, OP here. :)
I just wanted to say first off I did not expect this to get posted, so that was a great thing to find. Second off, I just wanted to clear a few things up. I do not think my sister learned this from PewDiePie, nobody in my house watches PewDiePie and neither does she. The only place I think she may have picked it up from is one of my friends, or my brother. I do not think she actually knows what the word means, she has just heard someone use it in a sentence. I did read all of your comments and to #113, it is not really that f***ing awesome when it is your little sister who is in low school saying something like that, especially being the oldest in the family and the one both of them look up to. I hope you all have a great day. :)

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Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

#21419702
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (1672)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:21pm - health - by work_while_bent (man) - United States (California)

work_while_bent's comment about their FML

Yes, my wife made sure to tell me that about a dozen times.

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Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

#21419117
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (4108)

On 06/01/2015 at 12:21pm - misc - by ephram17 (woman) - United States

ephram17's comment about their FML

OP here. Thankfully, he understood that both were accidents. I apologized for both and he wasn't mad. He does however enjoy making me feel a little guilty with some good natured teasing about it.

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Today, a customer complained that his earphones stopped properly functioning even though he bought them less than a month ago. After checking them, I realised that there was so much earwax caked into them that it affected the sound quality. FML

#21419023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (1846)

On 06/01/2015 at 8:22am - work - by iGagged (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

iGagged's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, OP here ! Made an account just to follow up.

1) No, sadly he didn't suspect a thing and didn't bother taking a close look at his earphones.
2) It was awkward indeed. Very, very awkward. He was nice though, he apologised and immediately left. Hopefully he'll check his earphones next time.
And thank you for commenting on my username haha !

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Today, I was having a panic attack so I went to my mum for support. She blocked her ears because my heavy breathing was annoying her. FML

#21419019
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (2657)

On 06/01/2015 at 8:06am - health - by thebiteof87 - Australia (Victoria)

thebiteof87's comment about their FML

Hey OP here
It's interesting reading all the comments that you guys are writing. It's interesting how a lot of you are saying that my mum has misophonia, which i agree with since she always gets annoyed when she hears me chewing, sneezing or just making loud, repetitive noises, but it still hurt me that she did that. She does have her own problems with anxiety herself, but at the time she was just watching tv so i went and sat next to her. We are pretty close but there is a bit of a communication gap here and there. I get a lot of anxiety due to the fact that i am a transgender boy and i'm going through a lot. Therapy and medication don't seem to help my anxiety though. Thx for the support.

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Today, I was exhausted due to staying up all night practicing for the most important performance of my orchestral career. I decided to take a nap to energize myself in preparation of the evening and woke up just in time to realize I'd missed the entire concert. FML

#21418271
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (10216)

On 05/30/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by bruhskoni - United States (California)

bruhskoni's comment about their FML

Haha, yeah. I did set an alarm, but I was so exhausted I slept right through it and my clock turns itself off after about 20 minutes. I'm also studying for finals so it's just been a very awful stressful time period. To all of you guys saying YDI, you're totally right. I spread myself too thin and didn't adequately prepare, so it was all my fault. Luckily it was a small ensemble performance, and 2nd chair took my place, rather than a big solo, so it wasn't the end of the world that I missed it, but it was a big opportunity to exhibit my talent. There will be more to come though, and I will make sure not to be sleep deprived! Also to all y'all saying "sorry for your neighbors", luckily my school's music building has very nifty sound proof practice rooms which I spend a lot of Time in. Thank you all for your support and I'm mad excited this got published. To anybody else who also just suffered through/is taking finals, may luck be on your side!

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Today, it's been so long since I had sex that even in my sex dreams I'm watching porn alone. FML

#21418002
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (2992)

On 05/30/2015 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anathema_360 - Canada (Ontario)

Anathema_360's comment about their FML

Allow me to clarify. I have a boyfriend, we've been together for 3 years, he's just doesn't want sex anymore

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Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

#21417009
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (2507)

On 05/28/2015 at 3:04am - love - by jessiebear159 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

jessiebear159's comment about their FML

Thank you for congratulating me. I agree that my father's response was probably just from shock. He called me not long after we hung up the first time and apologized for reacting that way. I am the youngest of his children and his only daughter, he may just not be ready to let me go yet. He has only been married once, to my mother, and they have been married happily for 22 years. I appreciate the advice that was given and I plan to talk to him more about his concerns when he gets back this coming week.

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Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

#21416507
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (1794)

On 05/27/2015 at 5:18am - work - by Ouka - Germany

Ouka's comment about their FML

OP here :)
First of all, thank you all for your advice!
I'm afraid though, that it's a rather small company (around 10 full time employees) so we don't have an HR departement.

I'm not sure about the difference between "being fired" and "being laid off", but my situation could be described as: "being fired because my company decided to save some money and that they didn't need someone on the position I'm currently working at."

Here in Germany we get ALG (Arbeitslosengeld, roughly translates to "unemployment money") for a year after working for at least two years. It's around 60% of the persons original salary.
The catch is: you only get it, if you're fired or quit for (very) good reasons (harassment, threats, etc.).
If you quit without one of those reasons you don't get anything for 1-3 months.
Also you don't get it for 3 months if you're fired because of anything you did (stealing, forgery...)

So it's a tricky situation right now.

I wrote my boss an email explaining most of the things you stated (that I feel uncomfortable forging his signature, for example) and asking whether it wasn't possible for me to just write the notice and have him sign it as soon as he's back.
This way I have to set the date back, because I can only be fired with a 2 months' notice which isn't stricly legal, but he agreed to it.
He isn't really that bad of a person, actually that whole idea came from HIS boss and he was just the unlucky messenger.

So yeah, I'm going to write the notice and put it on his desk to sign once he gets back and hope, the whole mess turns out alright.

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Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

#21416505
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (3996)

On 05/27/2015 at 4:45am - animals - by bekkylove22 - United Kingdom (London, City of)

bekkylove22's comment about their FML

Just to clarify, no I did not allow this person to take any mice.

Live feeding is illegal in the UK (where our rescue is based) and the majority of the mice we have are ones that came from illegal 'feeder breeders' that were shut down by the RSPCA after being proven to be selling mice for use as live feed.

Some of these mice have been hand reared by me from the day they were born if their mother had abandoned them or died herself, so there's no way in hell I would let them go somewhere they would be used as food.

Hope this helped anyone who was asking questions!

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Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

#21416484
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29202) - you deserved it (2580)

On 05/27/2015 at 2:48am - health - by mobigomo - United States (Washington)

mobigomo's comment about their FML

Honestly it was 100% my fault I teared. Going deep in the realm of TMI this is pretty much what happened. I didn't have an epidural so I was feeling the "ring of fire" like a mofo but he had told me to hold off on pushing for a moment because he was trying to relubricate and massage me open more so I could push my sons head out. Would have worked fine if I hadn't had a crazy intense contraction which made me push extremely hard while his fingers were in there, which made me tear right through. He did an amazing job stitching me up. Really after he realized who I was his interest was more in how I healed and if he stitched me up ok. Apparently he was super new and it was only his 4th day working in the hospital as an attending doctor. He was great though. I was really happy with my experience overall, except for the tearing through to my butthole part.

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