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With The ‘Dickini’ You Can Now Cover Your Tits With Dicks

By Nina / lundi 4 décembre 2017 05:30
We’ve seen a number of weird fashion trends in 2017, but we’ve got one more to add to the list before the year is through! The dickini is the new fashion FML captivating the uber-trendy and it’s a glittering offense to boobs everywhere.

“Free the nipple” is so 2016, now it’s “Cover up those nips and let the peen be seen!

It’s been a rough year for fashion and it seems designers are getting a little desperate, what with Balenciaga trying to make Crocs high-fashion, to double-sided cowboy boots, to any number of garments fashioned to look like vaginal. Designers are pushing limits and daring to go more risque than ever before. It’s in this natural progression of fashion that the ‘dickini’ has come to be born. And now that the dickini exists, you no longer have to limit your choices of wearable genitalia to female!

Cocks out!

The brainchild of Berlin-based brand Namilia, the dickini is exactly what it sounds like: a bikini made of dicks. What more could you ask for now that your wardrobe is already full of vaginas? This is all you’ve been missing!

Not sold? You will be after hearing the product description by online boutique Dollskill.

Namilia Glitter Dickini will get your aura pumpin’. This freaky lil top has sum sparkly dix that are lookin’ hella fancy ridin’ on rainbowz with a dope 3D glitter effect and elastic around tha neck and back with a bikini hook closure.

With such impeccable spelling and grammar, how could that description not have swayed you?

It’s even won the approval of celebrities like Cardi B.

“I need y'all too SUCK TWO DICKS” I could not have put it better myself.

There’s something for every taste: tassels, chains, and glitter in every color of the rainbow...so actually, your taste would have to be very particular to be interested in this item.

But, say for example, you’re a boob-having human and you want an article of clothing to show a creepy, testicle-having person the blue balls you plan to give them after shutting down their sleazy pick-up attempts, this is the garment you’ve been looking for!

I think we speak for everyone else, though, when we say that the dickini is gonna be a hard pass. This bikini may get two dicks straight up, but we give it two FML-approved thumbs down.

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Top comments
By  manb91uk  |  14

How things will be so confusing for the ultra-hetero man-man-men! “Nice tit... Wait, those are dicks covering them! But I’m still turned on - whatthefuckisthiswitchcraft!”

By  neuronerd  |  28

*predicktit

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  neuronerd  |  28

*predicktit

By  manb91uk  |  14

How things will be so confusing for the ultra-hetero man-man-men! “Nice tit... Wait, those are dicks covering them! But I’m still turned on - whatthefuckisthiswitchcraft!”

By  Fire_Princess16  |  23

Could you imagine if someone walked in on a conversation about these? "I need a D cup dick. Do they cum that big?" Person backs out thinking 'there are classified measurements now?' Actually, we should. That way we can specify the sizes we like in advance. "You want the D?" "Oh, I prefer C's."

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