By Anonymous - Pakistan - Islamabad When someone submits a selfie in the FML Photo category… …we publish it, because we're sarcastic sadists. I agree, your life sucks 1138 You deserved it 346 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By acnegirl - United States Today, I was romantically cuddling with my boyfriend. He looked deep into my eyes, stared lovingly at me, and said, "I never noticed, but you have the most adorable freckles on your face..." Blushing, I tilted my head to the side. He then said, "Oh, never mind, those are just your blackheads." FML I agree, your life sucks 51643 You deserved it 7123 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TMI - United States Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML I agree, your life sucks 42542 You deserved it 6360 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ehwat - United States Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML I agree, your life sucks 26722 You deserved it 12710 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By duncan74 - France - Balma Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML I agree, your life sucks 31824 You deserved it 4239 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/2/2021 14:02 Flattery will get you nowhere Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 670 You deserved it 184 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous A rock and a hard place Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML I agree, your life sucks 1381 You deserved it 225 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML I agree, your life sucks 21939 You deserved it 3966 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OfficeFatty - United States Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML I agree, your life sucks 35649 You deserved it 4953 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML I agree, your life sucks 30800 You deserved it 5566 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Excalibur6669 - United States - Parlin Today, my sister is having a New Year's Eve party at our house. I'm not invited. FML I agree, your life sucks 32589 You deserved it 3086 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GeneralElement - United States Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML I agree, your life sucks 30817 You deserved it 3622 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Frozen Delight - United States - New York Bewitched Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML I agree, your life sucks 2023 You deserved it 385 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Switzerland Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML I agree, your life sucks 47396 You deserved it 7792 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/7/2020 05:01 Vicious and unprovoked Today, while I was playing football with a friend, my sister wanted to join in. She was messing around with the ball at the start, then suddenly she kicked the ball through my legs, pulled my shorts down and kneed me in the nuts. FML I agree, your life sucks 1403 You deserved it 166 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By madi - United States Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML I agree, your life sucks 34694 You deserved it 3137 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hobo no-no - 10/11/2020 08:00 - United States Broke Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML I agree, your life sucks 1032 You deserved it 106 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML I agree, your life sucks 45641 You deserved it 4644 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rusty2020 - United States Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML I agree, your life sucks 163279 You deserved it 13191 196 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Seattle Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML I agree, your life sucks 11562 You deserved it 1356 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By all puked out - Netherlands Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 51582 You deserved it 4311 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aintgotnoteeth Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML I agree, your life sucks 11224 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1127 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brad - United States - Harrisburg Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML I agree, your life sucks 23905 You deserved it 25541 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By inthedark - Canada Today, I found out why my five-year-old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML I agree, your life sucks 39468 You deserved it 3665 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Laundrylady - United States Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10439 You deserved it 71317 254 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML I agree, your life sucks 63919 You deserved it 8429 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brastro - Ireland Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML I agree, your life sucks 16957 You deserved it 178748 276 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blah - United States Today, I had to go to my son's school for career day, I explained what a banker does and then I asked if anyone had a question, one boy raised his hand and asked "When are all the cool parents gonna come?" FML I agree, your life sucks 58615 You deserved it 6307 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kbug Today, while my man of almost 5 years was playing a video game with his friends, during one of the conversations they were having, one of his childhood friends asked “What do you see in her?” He replied, “I don't know, it’s more of an entrapment type of thing.” FML I agree, your life sucks 2365 You deserved it 307 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By raerae - Germany Today, I received my camera in the mail that my mom sent from home since I forgot it when I moved to Italy. It was wrapped in 4 layers of bubble wrap and packed in foam peanuts to keep it from getting broken. As I was removing the last layer of bubble wrap I dropped it, breaking the screen. FML I agree, your life sucks 30775 You deserved it 48185 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML I agree, your life sucks 4078 You deserved it 1049 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Poopie - Canada Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML I agree, your life sucks 28128 You deserved it 3183 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Marty - United States Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local Pizza Hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML I agree, your life sucks 29482 You deserved it 2582 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bad boss Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML I agree, your life sucks 4757 You deserved it 263 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML I agree, your life sucks 57762 You deserved it 29836 403 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cocacola999 - United Kingdom Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML I agree, your life sucks 41639 You deserved it 7740 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jodie - Australia Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abused by a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML I agree, your life sucks 11877 You deserved it 50128 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EpicMayonnaise - United States Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML I agree, your life sucks 28326 You deserved it 3652 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lyfisdyno - United Kingdom - Malvern Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML I agree, your life sucks 25754 You deserved it 73803 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alone - United States - Chapel Hill Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML I agree, your life sucks 40205 You deserved it 37820 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 33924 You deserved it 8658 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Arashikage | 18 #7462882 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 4:25 This isn't instagram Send a private message 15 2 Reply
By Glowworm56 | 25 #7462864 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 2:19 I was so confused seeing that among the FML moderations. FML--for being gorgeous? Send a private message 14 2 Reply
By Glowworm56 | 25 #7462864 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 2:19 I was so confused seeing that among the FML moderations. FML--for being gorgeous? Send a private message 14 2 Reply
By storm74 | 9 #7462869 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 3:17 This man is beautiful. Post more of his selfies, please. Send a private message 7 15 Reply
Reply Arashikage | 18 #7462882 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 4:25 This isn't instagram Send a private message 15 2 Reply
By RichardPencil | 29 #7462890 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 5:49 Looks like he lies a lot Send a private message 11 1 Reply
Reply Cali | 54 #7463406 - Thursday 1 June 2017 1:03 WAIT. WAS THAT A PINOCCHIO JOKE??? Send a private message Reply
By Cali | 54 #7462948 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 10:06 You're supposed to roast him, not compliment him! Gosh dang it. Send a private message Reply
Reply RichardPencil | 29 #7463141 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 17:10 Hey, I tried! Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By C8H18 | 33 #7463323 - Wednesday 31 May 2017 21:54 Great job with those fake eyebrow scars. Maybe you could shave that pedo-stache and douche-strap too. Send a private message 7 0 Reply
Reply Cali | 54 #7463405 - Thursday 1 June 2017 1:00 Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! Send a private message Reply
Reply Kyle Grimes-Ward | 6 #7559446 - Thursday 2 November 2017 8:50 Cute? Noooo. What that nose do tho????? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By hunterseal | 18 #7463532 - Thursday 1 June 2017 8:38 Dem eyebrows tho Send a private message 1 2 Reply
By sisoladra | 20 #7466028 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 8:55 hey don't hate on a guy for rocking his fave logo as eye brows he just really really loves adidas ? Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By young_stud | 14 #7466264 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 19:29 "…we publish it, because we're sarcastic sadists." FML.com, if you want to post pictures of random people on your site, then just do it. It's your site, you can do what you want on it. We don't need to know why you did it, no one cares. Send a private message 0 5 Reply
By CFSH01 | 11 #7715521 - Sunday 28 October 2018 19:54 If this guy gets a nosebleed it's game over. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 17 3 Comments
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after finding out that I opened an Onlyfans account. FML I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 1352 9 Comments
FML--for being gorgeous?