Work: Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's...

By breyn - United States

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

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Work

Understandable

Serious times

Workaholic

By Anonymous

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

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By dolceconfuoco - United States

Today, I have an ear infection, and everything I hear echoes inside my head. I'm an orchestra teacher, and we have our first concert next week. FML

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31847

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By emptypockets - 28/6/2020 17:00

Rich people problems

Today, after spending thousands of dollars on remodelling and painting our house, making it exactly how we wanted it, my husband's grandma passed away, leaving us her house. I’m debating on ripping everything out and taking it to the new house my hubby is so eager to move into now. FML

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1498

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By Al - Australia - Turramurra

Today, I walked into pawn shop and found a nice laptop which I inspected after I thought I lost mine months ago. Turns out my ex pawned it after having it at her place all this time. FML

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13235

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By Benji - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Escondido

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

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By Theslacker... - United States - Coplay

Today, a number of people came to visit me in the hospital, including my grandparents. They called me "weak" and "a cowardly millennial" for going to the ER instead of sucking it up, and blamed me for rising healthcare costs. I had a compound fracture. FML

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By ricky the sage - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

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By zaktor

Today, at my fundraising job, I got my biggest donation ever: $500. I accidentally added a zero and charged the donor $5000. What I got: an angry phone call and a lecture from my boss. What I didn't get: a donation. FML

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By Stressmess - United States

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

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By CaBur - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

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10305

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By polish_chik - Canada

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

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By IkeTheIntern - Canada

Today, my boss told me to stop giving work to our college intern because it's an embarrassment to have someone who hasn't finished college working for him. This is the same boss who constantly brags about being a high school drop out. FML

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24266

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By LTJFP - United States

Today, I was at ATandT getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

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By chrisinator - United States - Woodside

Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML

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10596

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By Anonymous - United States - Newtown Square

Today, after hearing the results of my spinal tap, following several scans, my doctor said discovering that I have Multiple Sclerosis was a "happy accident". FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I went through my purse to see where my keys were. I found my house keys, but not my car keys, so I freaked out. When I remembered that I was driving, I felt stupid. FML

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595

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Duns

Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML

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By ihpgolj - United States

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

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By Sostupid - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

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By Anonymous - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

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By Peepants - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

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By RBEE - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

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By Sad nerd - United Kingdom - Ringwood

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

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By Ishnar - 2/2/2021 05:01 - United States

PMS PSA

Today, while my partner usually has their work mic muted, I went in and complained about my period. Turns out today was the one day they didn't have it muted. Their whole team heard, and I used to work with some of them. FML

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301

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By Rjlup - United States - Denver

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

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By masterdisaster - United States

Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML

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By K-9cop - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I hadn't popped the question to her yet. For the last six months, I have been respectfully trying to convince her over protective father to give me his blessing. FML

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By Ma.Sa.La. - United States

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

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By klutz44 - United States - Winnetka

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

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By stupidteacher - China - Guiyang

Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML

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14237

Phew, glad it wasn't me

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By fml9124 - 10/7/2020 08:01

Unreasonable

Today, my company published "return to work" procedures for when the pandemic stops. HQ is in Maryland, I live in Arizona. I have worked remotely for the last 8 years. My new boss didn't know this. He wants me to move back to Maryland or find another job. FML

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By jobless - United States

Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML

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9673

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By inthedark - Canada

Today, I found out why my five-year-old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

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39468

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By JimmySmoothBeans - Australia

Today, I had my 21st birthday party. My friends told me to have the party even though it had been 5 months since my actual 21st birthday. They asked me why I didn't have one originally and I jokingly told them it was because I didn't think anyone would come. Turned out nobody came after all. FML

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By WOW - Kenya

Today, my driving instructor failed me on my test, because I forgot to turn the air conditioning off after parking. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

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By Riskreh - United States

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

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Top comments

By MrSarary | 26

#6206606 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:51

Yeah well guess who's getting a bad hair cut next time he comes in? FYL indeed OP.

By MDoremis | 38

#6206618 - Thursday 19 February 2015 9:03

That's disgusting and rude. Sorry you had to clean that up, OP!

COMMENTS

By cornyrob | 33

#6206600 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:46

Gross....

photographer49 | 22

#6206910 - Thursday 19 February 2015 18:32

#1 thanks for the unnecessary comment.

By 8Dirty1 | 24

#6206602 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:47

that's got to sting

1dvs_bstd | 41

#6206629 - Thursday 19 February 2015 9:15

come again big fudge, sting or stink?

8Dirty1 | 24

#6206643 - Thursday 19 February 2015 9:56

sting like when he pees

By MrSarary | 26

#6206606 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:51

Yeah well guess who's getting a bad hair cut next time he comes in? FYL indeed OP.

born_hustla | 26

#6206928 - Thursday 19 February 2015 18:50

Next haircut? I would have chased him and mess up his hair with the razor

By Jasim | 17

#6206607 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:51

I feel sorry for the both of you, actually.

imapartypooper | 15

#6206707 - Thursday 19 February 2015 13:05

I would feel sorry for the man if he was not a jerk about pissing himself.

invadermaythe1st | 35

#6206759 - Thursday 19 February 2015 15:07

#39 I think he was probably trying to make light of the situation, honestly.

By FluffyPandas156 | 13

#6206608 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:52

I'd be pissed if someone done that.

JayVicious | 20

#6206680 - Thursday 19 February 2015 11:37

its better to be pissed off then pissed on.

homesuckfucker | 28

#6206710 - Thursday 19 February 2015 13:20

Do you mean, "Better to be pissed off than pissed on," or are you a man that happens to enjoy golden showers?

swanheart | 35

#6206735 - Thursday 19 February 2015 14:42

Nothing better than a golden shower to calm you down when you're angry!

JKPwnage | 25

#6207000 - Thursday 19 February 2015 19:36

In that order?

JayVicious | 20

#6207033 - Thursday 19 February 2015 19:58

ha yes i did mean than. was up for 32 hours. but that was a fuck up that made me laugh. at least it still made sense....in a more fucked up way.

FluffyPandas156 | 13

#6207352 - Friday 20 February 2015 2:53

Took me a while to question myself if you do like golden showers or not.

By PrinPrinLife | 16

#6206612 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:57

That's messed up.

By SweetasCandy0609 | 28

#6206613 - Thursday 19 February 2015 8:57

I guess it doesn't bother him that he now has to walk around Smelling like urine, sorry OP that should definitely go in the bad day column I hope your day got better after that.