By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 06:50 - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 330
You deserved it 4 149

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zingline89 18

Did it take him 3 days to rise? If so, you're not very good.

I love how the FML Team can't be thumbed up or down.


It's a tattoo.

cloudygirl5 16

Hello fml guy named Alan!!!!

Hey now, yours is Alan. That doesn't sound very reliable or realis...actually, never mind.

I love how the FML Team can't be thumbed up or down.

6 - because OP said it was a tattoo...

Alan, it's thanks giving, aren't you going to get all boozed up anyway?

*almost pokes Alan* I'm not touching you! Not touching you!

*pushes DocBastard* Now you are! Mwahaha!!!

Alan is going to get British drunk!

Is it just me or do you all get really excited too when the FML team comment?

honeybadgerr 9

80- Bloody hell, do i ever! Especially when they make fun of the hogwash other ppl post

yousuck44 11

I hate that, I wanted to thumb Alan up since I liked his comment.

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This comment made me repent.

That'll be 4 Hail Marys.

And three Our Fathers.

And your first-born child.

That escalated quickly.

tsent8 15

He'll smite you after you finish his back

Also five rosaries and the stations of the cross. Bless you my child.

Maybe you just massaged Jesus too

You don't say?

Was I the only one who imagined 26's profile pic yelling you don't say?

I think Jesus liked it! Bless you :)

MeLuvBewbs 7

Better pray long and hard. Thanksgiving is coming up, here's your chance!

Hmmm, what did I miss something here. I see Thanksgiving and Jesus. Was the Last Supper really God's way of saying Happy Thanksgiving? Jesus, Easter ... Jesus, Christmas ... Jesus, Thanksgiving? Father, forgive her, for she know not what she do.

Wth does Thanksgiving have to do with Jesus?

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Little known fact - Jesus actually joined the pilgrims and natives for dinner. He brought a heavenly apple pie.

Just... no. Christmas has already conquered Thanksgiving and Veteran's Day, and it's zeroing in on Halloween. Don't encourage it.

MalloryKnox 8

Perhaps 5 was referring to saying grace before dinner? I bet you could slip in an apology for massaging Jesus. But my family never gives it more effort than "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Yay God!" so I can't be completely sure...

trippythehippy 6

Naughty naughty.

Just be glad he didn't request a happy ending. :O

I may be wrong, but I think it's a sin to give Jesus a happy ending.

zingline89 18

11th Commandment: Thou shalt not take thy Lord in thine hands

Pfft! He liked it.

Better start getting ready for a hotter climate. Much much hotter.

RedPillSucks 31

I thought you wrote 'climax' and I thought 'What a damn good massage to give Jesus a climax'

aussieaccents 7

You have been shunned.