Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, I feel like I’m living in some horrible campy horror comedy. I was walking to the kitchen when my cat ran under my feet, causing me to trip and fall backward through my glass table. FML
Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
Today, I picked up a 7lb stick vacuum like I do regularly, except this time it caused a disc in my spine to slip and pinch a nerve and now I can't walk right or sleep. FML
Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML
Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
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Top comments
MarkToast 19
the "I agree, your life sucks" button is just a cruel pun on this one
RichardPencil 32
Vacuum cleaners suck!
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Vacuum cleaners suck!
MarkToast 19
the "I agree, your life sucks" button is just a cruel pun on this one
Starlight1029 18
Ohhhh no. I did a full body cringe and closed my legs as tight as I could at the thought of that. And I'm a girl X_x
tibtak 20
Looks like the beginning of a bad porno
WardenWolf 26
That sucks, OP. Oh well, just suck it up and move on. ;-)
dramaelf 37
Kinky.
trucker2 33
Well I'm sure you signed a kinky replacement plan on this one-it has lovely features- 1. Every tractable cord for restraints /bondage. 2. A stay hard handle that vibrates. 3. Awesome suction power. 4. Stores quietly in the corner until it's ready to be used. All this for one easy payment of $199.99, not responsible for any damage while it's in use.