Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
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By
danielleeycakes
| 3
yes, why don't you educate us, justin bieber?
By
KaySL
| 24
I hope nobody minds if I rush in here to say a little pre-emptive "STFU Perdix, that was the most unspeakably vile and off-colour comment I have ever read"? Well then, good day to you all, ladies and gentlemen.
COMMENTS
By
KaySL
| 24
I hope nobody minds if I rush in here to say a little pre-emptive "STFU Perdix, that was the most unspeakably vile and off-colour comment I have ever read"? Well then, good day to you all, ladies and gentlemen.
Reply
ninjamacaroni
| 4
baniona
Reply
C6Racer
| 0
Either way, it's still gonna be funny as f*ck.
Reply
claiiire_fml
| 17
29-He's Asian, his dick's small enough already, I don't see why he needed it snipped.
Reply
DudeImBetter
| 0
why do you hate perdix?
Reply
zach5432
| 3
you know. you must have a very dirty penis op. you need to pull the foreskin back to clean it.
to grammar Nazis
Fuck off
to grammar Nazis
Fuck off
Reply
harrypotterrfan1
| 0
I don't understand the fml at all.
Reply
englishhottiexx
| 0
what retracted?
By
marylovesyou8D
| 7
Sorry.
By
foolsauce
| 2
Wow.
By
stevenmx86
| 7
Can someone explain wtf op is talking about? please
Reply
iSitt
| 0
phimosis FTW!
Reply
warpig182
| 0
The ops dick exploded
Reply
Epilepsy_fml
| 0
He is uncircumsized. Sometimes males find it extremely painful to retract their foreskin when they have an erection called phimosis. Phimosis is varying in intensity and sometimes you can't even retract it flaccid.
Reply
yewzd
| 0
Well in terms I can understand, basically its been a long time since OP had an boner. When he got the boner it fucking hurt him.
By
ur2nvthis85
| 3
fyl dude
By
P_to_the_AM
| 9
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
TomasT
| 0
What I thought too...
Reply
Phustercluck
| 11
This garbage about hygiene, uncircumcised is only unhygienic if you're unhygienic.
Reply
ReginaFalange_fml
| 13
yes exactly. and the fact that it had never been retracted means he had never cleaned under it, which is the way uncircumcised guys are supposed to stay hygienic.
Reply
Epilepsy_fml
| 0
He may be able to wash When it is flaccid however an erect penis is much larger.
Reply
evan40111
| 0
You look like the Arab version if Hitlerr!Gag
Reply
zach5432
| 3
44 even if flacid the first time the skin is pulled back hurts so much
By
KissinKitten
| 0
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
By
FMLMoreThenYours
| 0
I'm a complete idiot.
Reply
KaySL
| 24
Are you people legally retarded, or just trolling? Because you're great at the former; not so great at the latter. I guess what I'm trying to say here in my own subtle and evasive way is, please throw yourselves into a burning building before hanging yourselves with Perdix' alleged monster cock for good measure.
Reply
Freeze_fml
| 16
Some are illegally retarded.
Reply
Fruhling
| 16
Perhaps the people that didn't get it don't speak English as a mother language and do not know the meanings of specific words the poster used.
Reply
KaySL
| 24
"Boston, USA".
Maybe I'm just WEIRD, but I expect at least a basic degree of literacy from anyone daring to open their mouth and spew forth their comments here.
Maybe I'm just WEIRD, but I expect at least a basic degree of literacy from anyone daring to open their mouth and spew forth their comments here.
Reply
Fruhling
| 16
Yeah...you have a point there.
Reply
iGrenade
| 0
kay is "trolling" while accusing others of doing the same. how ironic.
By
underpaid011
| 0
clearly your penis does not like chicks. stick to dudes. quit contaminating the female population.
By
smerry
| 3
i dont get it someone explain plzz?!?
Reply
Mehness
| 0
It was the first time his foreskin (extra skin at the tip of the penis which is normally removed) had peeled back onto the shaft of his penis.
Reply
zach5432
| 3
the op is from Singapore in that area of the works foreskin is rarely removed
Reply
wtf20007
| 10
foreskin is not "normally removed" in fact it's quite uncommon in most westernized parts of the world
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
smerry
| 3
81 thank you for explaining :-)
Reply
TIGERTIGERTIGER
| 0
I feel really sorry for "most guys" in your life, and you need to get out and see the world some more -- or at least just look around the internet sometime.
Reply
alexFYL
| 11
No need to be rude.
For the record, my college years were spent being pretty loose (I'm only 25 so it's recent and relevant), and all in all...? I'd say about... maybe 10% of the guys I've been with were uncircumcised. I keep hearing the fact that more guys are un-cut than guys that are cut, but unless this is a new thing, the numbers just don't match up.
For another record, I don't really have a preference. The size and style of your penis doesn't matter, it's how you use it. IMO having a preference about someone's penis would be like saying it's OK for a guy to have a preference about how my vagina is, which is ridiculous, ignorant and rude.
For the record, my college years were spent being pretty loose (I'm only 25 so it's recent and relevant), and all in all...? I'd say about... maybe 10% of the guys I've been with were uncircumcised. I keep hearing the fact that more guys are un-cut than guys that are cut, but unless this is a new thing, the numbers just don't match up.
For another record, I don't really have a preference. The size and style of your penis doesn't matter, it's how you use it. IMO having a preference about someone's penis would be like saying it's OK for a guy to have a preference about how my vagina is, which is ridiculous, ignorant and rude.