By blububble412 - United States - Sierra Vista Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 33920 You deserved it 2447 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blacklove - United States Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read "it's over". FML I agree, your life sucks 32482 You deserved it 2695 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - Australia Today, I was on a standing on a crowded bus going home after school. A wriggling 5 year old boy and his mum left the seat to get off the bus. Since no one looked keen to sit on the seat, I did, only to find out that it was covered in pee. FML I agree, your life sucks 53551 You deserved it 11465 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rescuetheduck - Finland - Joensuu Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML I agree, your life sucks 33805 You deserved it 7238 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML I agree, your life sucks 68708 You deserved it 10477 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ughhhhh - United States - Stockton Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML I agree, your life sucks 10738 You deserved it 3491 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By good friend - United States - Missoula Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML I agree, your life sucks 40415 You deserved it 5794 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/1/2021 23:01 Who goes there? Today, I live in a studio and I can hear really weird noises coming from my neighbours, my walls, my floor and even inside, without knowing what did fall/scratch/move. I seriously wonder if someone lives hidden in the walls. I don't know if I should call the cops, a psychiatrist or an exorcist. FML I agree, your life sucks 708 You deserved it 66 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unemployed Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call for an interview. Right in the middle of the call, my phone hung up so the music app could open. I tried calling them back and got no response. FML I agree, your life sucks 2665 You deserved it 362 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whyme Today, I met a wonderful man and agreed to go on a date. Halfway through the date, he started telling about how much he hates his wife. And his four kids. I texted him after I walked out, saying not to call me again. He agreed. His wife didn't. FML I agree, your life sucks 4325 You deserved it 328 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SwordFish8 - United States Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 13841 You deserved it 64349 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LucyLollipop Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 3752 You deserved it 767 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Natalie - United States Today, I was out enjoying my daily jog, when out of nowhere, a group of kids in a passing car pelted me with ketchup-filled water balloons. FML I agree, your life sucks 45986 You deserved it 4257 225 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I hate my job - United States Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML I agree, your life sucks 56807 You deserved it 4291 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Williamsburg Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML I agree, your life sucks 26409 You deserved it 3105 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Staycation time Today, £250 of money belonging to work was stolen from my handbag. My boss says I have to pay it back because I'm the one that signed out the cash. There goes the holiday I was about to book. FML I agree, your life sucks 6241 You deserved it 997 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML I agree, your life sucks 24748 You deserved it 2607 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yourekillingme - United States - Mission Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 23800 You deserved it 1459 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML I agree, your life sucks 24529 You deserved it 2133 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chubbs - United States - Vacaville Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 50067 You deserved it 3755 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By breathalizard - United States Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML I agree, your life sucks 35292 You deserved it 299625 250 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bitch - United States - San Diego Today, I dumped my boyfriend. To celebrate being newly single, I wanted to watch some shows on Netflix. My now ex-boyfriend had already changed the password. FML I agree, your life sucks 2269 You deserved it 10426 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Greensborough Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML I agree, your life sucks 39520 You deserved it 3822 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/3/2020 20:00 Increase school funding, please? Today, my teacher began to explain Veterans' Day and why it's on 11/11 to a new student from Iran. He said he already knew, but this was news to almost everyone else in the class. FML I agree, your life sucks 1263 You deserved it 177 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tool - United States Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML I agree, your life sucks 43849 You deserved it 142935 405 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nackpattywhackgiveadogabone - United States Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML I agree, your life sucks 15028 You deserved it 50358 364 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Dartmouth Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31612 You deserved it 3224 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jkass - Australia Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML I agree, your life sucks 36283 You deserved it 4465 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheSickness - United States Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML I agree, your life sucks 15156 You deserved it 59100 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NathanPlays - United States Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML I agree, your life sucks 32016 You deserved it 20180 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML I agree, your life sucks 48421 You deserved it 4221 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/1/2021 11:01 If it quacks like a duck, it's a quack Today, we got the news that my dad will be dying of Covid. My mom, former nurse, still insist it's a hoax and that the holistic route will cure him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1186 You deserved it 71 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Animal_aide - Canada Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML I agree, your life sucks 31922 You deserved it 2946 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mad - Australia Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML I agree, your life sucks 34556 You deserved it 5254 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By harvdog - United States Today, I went to Seattle with my mom to visit my pregnant sister, only to end up being dragged to a store to buy maternity clothes. The saleswoman apologized to me repeatedly for not having a lounge for the fathers, but congratulated me on the baby. I'm a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 32944 You deserved it 5185 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShortieRose Always proofread before sending Today, I was texting with my close friend about her very sick father. She texted, "I hope he gets better" and I replied, "I hope he does." Autocorrect changed it to, "I hope he dies." FML I agree, your life sucks 1968 You deserved it 390 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Silverdale Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML I agree, your life sucks 34959 You deserved it 7764 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon Epic Boss Battle Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML I agree, your life sucks 4982 You deserved it 725 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chris - 5/5/2020 14:00 Frustration level 100 Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1509 You deserved it 185 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml - United States - Perry Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML I agree, your life sucks 51528 You deserved it 12233 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Backseatseller - New Zealand Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML I agree, your life sucks 44502 You deserved it 3105 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By briang959 | 46 #6180438 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:15 Thanks for supporting your local police. Send a private message 282 5 Reply
By Welshite | 39 #6180443 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:18 That's why you don't take powdered sugar to school, kids. Send a private message 154 3 Reply
By briang959 | 46 #6180438 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:15 Thanks for supporting your local police. Send a private message 282 5 Reply
Reply Shadowvoid | 33 #6180471 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:49 Hey, the dogs need a lunch break too, I suspect them Send a private message 34 3 Reply
Reply briang959 | 46 #6180596 - Thursday 22 January 2015 19:28 Unless it was donuts. : ) Send a private message 16 4 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #6181811 - Friday 23 January 2015 23:46 Hey, at least they didn't leave a note complaining about what OP had for lunch and offering suggestions for the next search. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply blazingshot147 | 19 #6183896 - Monday 26 January 2015 4:28 I hope that you at least got an IOU Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By davisjenny81 | 30 #6180442 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:18 The dogs must have been hungry little buggars Send a private message 69 3 Reply
Reply 1PersonIsMyWorld | 22 #6180506 - Thursday 22 January 2015 17:50 food fuels knowledge. the dogs have to reboot. buggars... i love that term for them lol Send a private message 14 2 Reply
Reply Harvzey | 18 #6180526 - Thursday 22 January 2015 18:13 Why is everyone assuming it was the dog? One of the officers could have got a little hungry on the job lol Send a private message 14 3 Reply
Reply tucansamTommyG | 12 #6181266 - Friday 23 January 2015 10:08 I think #2 was referring to the officers. Send a private message 2 3 Reply
By Welshite | 39 #6180443 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:18 That's why you don't take powdered sugar to school, kids. Send a private message 154 3 Reply
Reply Pegasustato | 20 #6180723 - Thursday 22 January 2015 21:52 #13, sister's father? So your dad...? Send a private message 15 10 Reply
Reply buckstop1 | 37 #6180750 - Thursday 22 January 2015 23:00 Perhaps #13 was referring to a half sister or step sister. I have a half sister but I just usually refer to her as my sister. Send a private message 17 1 Reply
By EverestMelting | 23 #6180449 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:20 Ahh, well food can be classified as a drug.. Send a private message 27 4 Reply
Reply 1PersonIsMyWorld | 22 #6180508 - Thursday 22 January 2015 17:51 very true.. that's why obesity is so high in the U.S. gotta learn to say no! Send a private message 14 6 Reply
By devildog562 | 33 #6180451 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:25 Maybe the dog smelled it and was hungry. Must have been a hell of a lunch. Send a private message 6 2 Reply
By dipsheep | 11 #6180453 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:27 drug safety over a mere lunch any day! Send a private message 5 2 Reply
By HeadlessSparrow | 20 #6180454 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:27 Sharing is caring! Send a private message 10 2 Reply
By royal_ranger | 12 #6180458 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:33 Does it matter what it was? All that matters is that he had no food. Send a private message 22 1 Reply
By MELKOZAR | 27 #6180459 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:33 "Drugs" Send a private message 8 3 Reply
By iwadasn | 32 #6180460 - Thursday 22 January 2015 16:33 Sounds like the drug dogs were still in training. Send a private message 16 2 Reply
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after finding out that I opened an Onlyfans account. FML I agree, your life sucks 188 You deserved it 1164 9 Comments
Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends,... I agree, your life sucks 713 You deserved it 97 6 Comments