Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Druu 53
"Thank you, sir. I'm not from this side of town, but you guys give really weird welcome gifts."
Shabnam Moghal 14
Throw it back at him as a return gift with a thank you note
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (21)
Druu 53
"Thank you, sir. I'm not from this side of town, but you guys give really weird welcome gifts."
Shabnam Moghal 14
Throw it back at him as a return gift with a thank you note
mariri9206 32
No, they should put their own dog's feces in a brown bag, put it on his porch, set it on fire, knock on his door/ring the bell, and then run, baby, run. you know, like in Billy Madison.
jadedarchangel 9
For some reason, when I read this FML, this song popped in my head to a tune from Beauty and the Beast about her little town: I walked my dog like I do e-ve-ry-day But a new way I went to-day Soon the walk became a shame When dog poo was flung my way Now all I can think is goodness, f my liiiiife.
my2centsworth 15
Why was the man walking your dog in a different part of town? We need more background.
Arashikage 18
That's not relevant to the situation
mariri9206 32
Did you not read the fml? OP was walking their dog in a different part of town, not the man.
Little Richard 11
Sounds like it's time for the old flaming bag of dog poop gag.
species4872 19
Did you lose your pencil Richard?
RichardPencil 30
He's not RichardPencil, he just appropriated my pic!
species4872 19
Is nothing sacred? Should have known, there is only one RichardPencil.
RichardPencil 30
That was your initiation to the neighborhood. And, for the record, I created my profile pic and others have appropriated it without permission. I am flattered nevertheless.
species4872 19
Maybe your dog has another owner on the side.
WTF STFU 3
I would smear it all over his car... with gloves of course.