Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML
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Top comments
By
sweet_candy_
| 17
You should have burned them right after you wrote them.
By
Enderspeaker
| 2
You had me at "rampant sex life"!
COMMENTS
By
linopz224
| 0
that blows!
Reply
TehAndyman14
| 5
It also sucks
Reply
kaprookie
| 3
I can see why you have a therapist OP
Reply
TheRealFamilyGuy
| 5
sounds a lot like my life, minus the suicide attempt and add the random meeting of celebrities.
Reply
Mortanious
| 0
With her drug abuse and rampant sex life, the OP blows and probably good at it too.
Reply
hghiPigh
| 0
you deserve it for being an awful human being
Reply
Mikekenny
| 0
suicide looking better
Reply
alliewillie
| 22
I'm sorry to say OP but you sound like a crappy person.
Perhaps your family should know that you apparently despise them and leave evidence of it lying around the house.
Perhaps your family should know that you apparently despise them and leave evidence of it lying around the house.
Reply
ChaCerCam
| 14
I just wonder if her therapist uses FML.
By
IphonFML
| 6
then what did u burn?
Reply
chimpsndip
| 0
Oh, dude. You got nice abs. They're so square. This is the reaction you wanted, right?
Reply
EpicPear
| 0
No, I believe it's the gay reaction he didn't want.
Reply
Privations_fml
| 2
Oh my god... Chimpsndip: I first saw your pic without looking at your username, and I thought of a monkey. Now I know it wasn't just me.
Reply
DoubleEdgedBlade
| 4
Unwritten guy rule #149: Never compliment on another guy's abs. It makes you look gay (unless you're into that sort of stuff).
Reply
unfortunate_13
| 5
sarcasm anyone? chimpsndip, i laughed
Reply
Seabass732
| 0
yeah I thought it was funny too, because I got the joke...
Reply
AubriS
| 0
I've never understood why guys take pictures of their abs only and use them as profile pictures. obviously his face is too horrid to be included in the photo! :-/
Reply
heathersmorin
| 0
usually when you have abs like that your compensating for 2 thing- a messed up face and something below the abs...
Reply
goaliemkl123
| 8
is that a proven fact?
Reply
Sexy_Lettie
| 2
I think after working on his abs to get them to look like that he might want to show them off u know. I have pix of my abs as dps sometimes I don't see how the whole compensating thing works spesh for girls, or as your logic would have it we are compensating because we don't have penises?
Reply
viper2426
| 0
lol
Reply
thesinginguy
| 18
it looks kinda like you glued a giant white chocolate bar to you your stomach. ahahaha! I don't get why other guys do that it just makes you seem like a douche. by the way, you can always find the douches of a school on the football team. so this is odd because this douche likes soccer. the only sport that you need skills to be in(: oh and je n'aime pas vous(:
Reply
chimpsndip
| 0
22-Chimps aren't monkeys...
Reply
meegsiiee
| 5
2 - nothing yet obviously
Reply
DASmetal
| 0
Thesinginguy
where do you get off stereotyping people who play football? and more importantly, where do you get off saying soccer is the only sport that requires skill to play? to me, you sound like one of those disgruntled kids who got told they weren't the material the team needed by the coach during tryouts one year and decided to grind an ax over it since then. get over yourself. narrow-minded, simplistic, nonsensical fools like you infest this planet and make it a horrible place to be. use your head when you say something, your mind is being wasted otherwise.
where do you get off stereotyping people who play football? and more importantly, where do you get off saying soccer is the only sport that requires skill to play? to me, you sound like one of those disgruntled kids who got told they weren't the material the team needed by the coach during tryouts one year and decided to grind an ax over it since then. get over yourself. narrow-minded, simplistic, nonsensical fools like you infest this planet and make it a horrible place to be. use your head when you say something, your mind is being wasted otherwise.
Reply
steveakafranxy
| 7
#93 soccer sucks, basketball is awesome
Reply
vb68_fml
| 28
As is yours since you don't have a profile pic ...
By
Ihavenonameboi
| 0
if theyr your secrets and you were gonna burn them so nobody knows, why tell them to millions of people on here
Reply
supertacowaffle
| 41
True!
Reply
demonxshadow
| 1
1.you'll never know it is thanks to FML.
2.people need to vent,
2.people need to vent,
Reply
abbi96x
| 0
No but she has told us she's called Elle from Virginia :L
Reply
autumnah
| 3
I'm pretty sure there is gonna be more than one elle...
Reply
yehr
| 0
because this is anonymous.
By
sweet_candy_
| 17
You should have burned them right after you wrote them.
Reply
PeteyPablo12308
| 20
34 is that really your pic? You are gorgeous and you sound like a cool person.
Reply
geminiwings87
| 0
Hey Petey, you shouldn't be hitting on other guys when your bio says, "spending time with my amazing other half". just saying, I'm gay to and I would hate to know my boyfriend did that. I agree though, he is gorgeous :)
By
QWERTYCommander
| 5
Did your family read it?
Reply
meowmeowwkitty
| 0
that's what we are assuming....
hence, FML
hence, FML
Reply
Mewzakuro240
| 0
32- You really are a bitch. Stop trying to make others feel bad why don't you. I've read three FML's with your jackass-y comments.
Reel it in, please.
Reel it in, please.
Reply
goaliemkl123
| 8
that's not what I assumed. I figured she just lost them. dint you think that if her family had read them she would have said so. it's a pretty important part of the story
Reply
Mewzakuro240
| 0
It greatly saddens me that my comment was moderated.
I don't really remember what if said, I think it was something about how she's making people feel bad through the course of many FML's. But it's not important anymore.
Oh well, thanks mod's, for keeping the comments Quasi-friendly :)
I don't really remember what if said, I think it was something about how she's making people feel bad through the course of many FML's. But it's not important anymore.
Oh well, thanks mod's, for keeping the comments Quasi-friendly :)
Reply
superswagbro
| 7
How the fuck is she supposed to know?
By
kthxbie
| 10
FIND IT :O
Reply
BigMacBoi
| 3
Thanks tips..
By
agirlnamedhope
| 0
bah
By
coatie
| 0
Your parents have them.
Reply
Mewzakuro240
| 0
Can I say that the wheel on your chair is actually kinda cook looking? Well, I did. So... hi!!
Reply
Mewzakuro240
| 0
*cool -stupid iPhone correct.
Reply
krazy_glu3
| 0
those are the badass wheelchairs!!! :D
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Looks like a performance (sports) chair, but not for racing. Looks too heavy.
By
mtbracing
| 3
a suicide attempt? those ppl are always begging for attention
By
Alex_aden
| 0
your so retarded, I kinda want to burn your dog.
Reply
I_R_Genius
| 3
I kind of want to burn you for your bad grammar.
Reply
iseywisey
| 0
18- get a liife
if people have bad grammar that's their problem. go and become a teacher or an editor if that's what you're interested in.
if people have bad grammar that's their problem. go and become a teacher or an editor if that's what you're interested in.
Reply
I_R_Genius
| 3
#52, I do have a life, but thank you very much. Maybe you should get one and stay off the internet?