By 12MONTHLEASE - 22/04/2016 00:30 - United States

Spicy
Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 597
You deserved it 1 742

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Maybe that was just their foreplay. They might be into rampaging murderers. You never know.

Gah! Well, what a great first impression. Maybe you should consider investing in a pair of earplugs.

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Just call the cops during the next fight. They might just take it elsewhere in the future or realise they can't fight and then fuck like that.

What about this scenario screams CALL THE COPS to you?

Where I live we have 24 hour noise laws. If people are being loud as fuck, you can get the cops to shut them the fuck up.

I'd think if anyone was screaming and threatening someone you'd call the police. I'd hate to be your neighbour if I was ever being attacked.

#25 . In the USA, in every state, threatening someone one with bodily harm is a crime. In addition yelling like that to the point it disturbs other people is call "disturbing the peace" also a crime. Those two facts are what screams "call the cops" to any rational person.

The death threat part.

Fights and sex is pretty much a real time OITNB. You can save on Netflix!

Corn was born in the morn. That's called alliteration ladies and gentleman... And coffeebean

If this continues more than once you can issue a report against them and: A; have them warned. B; Get them removed.

Maybe that was just their foreplay. They might be into rampaging murderers. You never know.

Hey, look snñr.u

I'm sorry, my phone completely derped out here and I'm not sure what happened.

My phone used to do that too... It used to type random letters and tap different places all over the screen!

Hey, look on the bright side -- you'll always have your own personal live action porn going on upstairs whenever you decide to masturbate!

I'm going to kill you!! Fuck you!! Fuck me!!! Porn music starts playing

Do... do people actually do that?

@19, Actually yes. I later found out that when me and my ex went to have sex his uncle would go to the bathroom next to our room to listen. -.-

Gah! Well, what a great first impression. Maybe you should consider investing in a pair of earplugs.

Why would you want to block them out?

Cause that shit is fucking nasty.

I would talk to them first and if they don't cooperate your landlord

I feel ya fellow bottom dweller. I had a couple live above me with a squeaky bed a preference for early morning sex.

Begin with even earlier morning cooking and cleaning, vaccumes, clanging dishes and loud music to dance to. Nothing kills the mood like chores!

Three hour sex is op

It may not be for everyone, but three hour sex is pretty great.

The orgasm after sex that long is absolutely fucking mind- and body-numbingly gorgeous. You are basically lying there like a freshly tranquilized opossum writhing in heavenly bliss. The sleep after is the best rest in the universe.