That’s quite the veggie tale

And, briefly, quite the veggie tail.

Maybe it was there from earlier....? perhaps she lost it in her ass before you asked her for sex?

Tossing the salad...

She was not in the mood for your gherkin.

She was in the mood for some food!

Kinda know how you feel. My ex wife would say no to sex most of the time. Then complain about the lack of sex. I've heard variance of this situation many times. Any ladies care to shed some light on this?

Well given the fact that I️ am married I can tell you that this is true. First of all if you want to have sex then don’t just ask for it. Most women like to be turned on beforehand because try sticking it in dry hurts. Women need foreplay and make sure you know how to do it right or it’s not going to work to your advantage. Also make sure to scope out her mood before trying to have sex and make sure it’s not that time of month. There is no manual for a woman but if you pay attention to her then you will learn when the best time to try to have sex with her.

Sounds like a lot of people have communication issues. It's not really something "women" do (as you sort of implied by your question). It's more about people not knowing what they want. If someone says they don't want sex then complain that they don't get it, that's just some sort of issue they have.

Envy how did you infer from my comment that I just asked or no foreplay? Foreplay is half the fun.

Pez, why I implied women is because most of the cases seem to be that way. Also I wanted some insight for future relationships. Admittedly FML is not the best place to get it from.

She got herself into a real pickle.

You might say the pickle actually got into her.

Well, her mother told her not to play with her food. Didn't say anything about fucking her food...

Plot twist: She didn’t shove it up her ass — she swallowed it whole!

So, while you were jerkin the gherkin she was getting frickle with the pickle?