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The illustrated FMLs
By opinaise / Thursday 2 August 2012 13:00 / France - Toulouse
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Take her to the grocery store and make her learn the difference. You know, before she starts complaining "OMG THIS APPLE IS SO DISGUSTING AND SQUISHY" when she finds a tomato.

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Well, technically, as a website, google probably won't be able to provide any answers. It'll just show links to other websites which hold the answer to whatever question you have.

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79 - A falcon punch originates from Captain Falcon, a nintendo character. In super smash bros Captain Falcon will grace the other characters with a punch, not just any punch, it is believed to convert molecules into pure force, in the shape of a falcon. It may smash the TV, or in this case a computer monitor or maybe an IPhone. Not much is known of the Falcon Punch, the only sure fact is that it destroys any contender. The only person in history who has been able to properly perform a Falcon Punch, besides the creator, Captain Falcon, is Kirby. It has been estimated that if a Falcon Punch was any stronger, it would destroy atoms. The Falcon Punch, is the most powerful punch recorded. With proper timing, it can even defeat the hated hammer, which has the power of earthquakes. Thank you for your time.

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Dude I feel like I am the only one who is more impressed by Rambo than chuck norris. Why is this? I'm willing to bet people will not realize that is a rhetorical question... Lets see.

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What a stupid comment, anyone can die from a pill. Your sheer stupidity shows very well in this comment you left if 'Norris' died from a pill Everybody would worship the fucking pill thinking that's the only thing that can stop the legend himself

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25- I hate to be conceited --but I'm a bright guy-- and I've been with dumb girls. It's like sleeping with a brick wall. I personally prefer the woman to be of at least some intelligence.

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46- Exactly what I was thinking. I didn't know relationships revolved around how well the two do in bed. I'm aware that it may be a large factor, but personal traits and intellect overrule that by far, unless you're a huge slut.

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#45 that's why I didn't say anything about her perhaps doing it one time only, but tried to point out how she could be better in other ways. Just don't put it that harsh next time, as you really don't know their situation. Being with someone lazy who just won't listen or help can be very frustrating. If they get to be lazy all the time, of course she'll start getting cranky - and delusional, apparently >.>. Maybe, he just needs to be with someone with lower hygienic standards, so they can both chill together! But you definitely can't call her a bitch from just reading this FML. Words are powerful, careful how you use them!

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So your saying a woman that can't tell the difference between a kiwi and a moldy egg, who complains about it yelling at her boyfriend for being lazy for not cleaning up the "egg", does not spell out bitch to you?!

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Again, you're being ignorant. It's possible to jump over a letter on a keyboard, you know. It might just be me, but I also think there's more prestige in keeping the conversation going, instead of starting to do easy things like correcting typos. Just a little opinion from an "elder". Ouch btw? And if I do not know how to spell, notice I'm also from Denmark. Actually I've only had English for 10 years, and not everything stands in English over here, obviously. Major disadvantage. I'm also trying to learn Spanish and did German along with English. Just again a little side to a story you do not know, and you were so quick to form an opinion about. Now, just admit it was a little harsh. It'd make my day :>

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So myo, what you're telling me is that 18 is not grammatically correct and eighteen is what I meant? Of so, unfortunately for you, 18 is accepted in online text, kind of like gonna "going to" and alot "a lot" are.

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If English is not your first language, why aren't you using a version of FML that goes by your language? I'm aware they have many different apps with a large variety of languages, and I'm positive they have different versions of the website.

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The Danish version is terrible. "Today, I was caught cheating on my test. FML" "Today, I had 247 pokes when I logged onto facebook. FML" Last two FMLs published. >.>

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True. But I don't like predictable FMLs, and the Danish version is full of them. It's the type of FMLs that could be posted in the beginning, so you don't need an uncommon situation or a creative way to put it. I like to be surprised :P

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Saints, your argument deteriorated rapidly each time you replied. I agree with Kiwi in the fact that we get a small portion of a story in FML, and use it as we can. Relationships are not something to end for random things, and since you don't know the context, nor how the couple is with one another, then it is wrong to judge if he should toss her to the curb. As far as I can tell, judging from the FML, said kiwi (the one in the fridge) looked to OP's girlfriend as an egg because it was so badly rotten. Now on both sides, I think that from the way it was worded OP probably doesn't clean up after himself often, and leaves it to her. But then again, it got so bad in the fridge because neither one of them took care of the mess. So, in short; i got that OP was a slob, but she seems as much of a slob as well.

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Well that was quite fun to read. I must say for being from Denmark your English is quite good. Small spelling errors occur when typing on small screens. If you read some of saints later posts you can tell.

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Kiwi, the Danish version sounds boring! :O no wonder you come here! But then again, we get a lot of different people here and it makes this site wonderful. 153, I agree! Kiwi's English is superb! ^_^

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You do have a point jaxx, and I did realize that my side of the argument was flawed from judging OP and kiwi decided to announce my flaw. To kiwi. What you haven't realized, is that everyone of your comments is revolving around the idea that OP is a lazy irresponsible jerk, as I am saying that OP's girl friend is a whiny bitch.

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Yes, from that we can deem that it's OP's fridge. But from the fact that she thinks that OP has cooked an egg, we can also see that OP possibly cooks as well. But from the rest of the FML it seems that OP is quite lazy, and disregards general chores around the house. Thus his girlfriends probably pissed off at him for other things, and found that the kiwi fruit/egg would be the best excuse to exert this frustration.

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155- 199 explained it best. She may not be normally "bitchy". She could be doing that because he's a slob normally. And that is upsetting. Maybe she wants to move in together when he's ready to take the next step, but she won't until he learns to clean up after himself. Everything changes with OP taking sole ownership over said fridge.

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#105, Unless OP keeps more kiwis in his fridge than eggs, her guess wasn't a bad one. Rotten things of many types get black and "furry," but no so many are oval.

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I actually agree. She seems quick to jump on his case. Sure, she may have been concerned about his well being or whatever, but harping on him isn't the making for a good relationship.

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Hey don't go insulting grapefruits! What did they ever do to receive such a grievous insult to their intelligence? At least they understand logic Grapefruit - somewhat difficult to eat + bitter taste = protection from over harvesting Kim K - ...... We'll give her some more time

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...Who cares about thumbs down...? I have a real life, where enough people think I'm "cool", I'm not too terribly concerned with what people on the other side of a screen think about my wit, or lack there of, in any given comment ;)

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