Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
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By
CinderellaC
| 4
you should consult my therapist, Dr. Jack Daniel
By
shadowgamer_x
| 0
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
COMMENTS
By
novair
| 5
bad problem.
Reply
Jimster1712
| 0
Fair enough, thats reasonable.
Reply
eminemchick
| 19
I can only imagine.
"fuck it, I'm leaving you."
"what?! Why?"
"you have a drinking problem!"
"wtf i barely drink"
"yes. That is where the problem lies.*takes a huge swig of jack daniels*"
"fuck it, I'm leaving you."
"what?! Why?"
"you have a drinking problem!"
"wtf i barely drink"
"yes. That is where the problem lies.*takes a huge swig of jack daniels*"
Reply
xDefendPopPunkx
| 14
My guess is that OP's girlfriend either has chemicals in their brain that shouldn't be there or they are missing ones that should be.
Reply
hannahmorgan06
| 7
Well, atleast she's your ex now.
Reply
loserman67
| 35
the girl or the drinking?
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xoconnie
| 8
maybe ur not fun or something and she thinks if u drink u might get exciting lol idkk.
Reply
LiveLaughFML
| 10
lol so your girlfriend prefers you coming home at 3:00 A.M. on a work night from the bar with your buddies? blame it on the a-a-alcohol.
Reply
Marktheshark
| 0
Is your gf Lindsay Lohan?
Reply
enonymous
| 8
Guys love dumb chicks because it gives them a chance to be right most of the time.
Reply
seanders
| 10
I thought Amy Winehouse was dead.
Reply
poostool
| 5
12 - there is nothing wrong with being slutty. Deep down we're all sluts.
Op - stop being a prude and have a couple drinks.
Op - stop being a prude and have a couple drinks.
Reply
anencephalic
| 14
60 - she didn't even mention the word slut.
Reply
goebsy
| 8
Your reaction: pour yourself a stiff drink
Reply
me_the_maniak
| 14
haha .. so maybe the "coming back with buddies" part is exciting .. :P
Reply
EnEl_Infierno
| 15
You do have a problem op, that you're a dumbass, I bet you're now ex was the life of the party, and you where the dumbass to tell everyone to use a coaster because the glass will leave a ring. Life is short, my advice... Pop open a cold one, live it up, and PARTY HARD, PARTY HARD, PARTY HARD!
Reply
Blazingcrono
| 6
95 - For some reason I can't help but find that you're the dumbass...
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NTimmy
| 2
That's her way of saying ''we don't have sex enough''
Reply
Boygenius50
| 8
95, I'm like 75% sure you're a troll, but just in case you're not, I'll give you some advice: Please, for the sake of society, do NOT procreate.
Reply
bfsd42
| 20
52, too soon asshole.
Reply
seanders
| 10
134: never too soon.:). If I'm gonna mock someone while they're alive, death isn't gonna change a thing!:). Besides, since when was a law stated that you must wait a minimum time before mocking the dead?
Reply
DropTheDaggerxx
| 31
This is what happens when you date Ke$ha.
By
shadowgamer_x
| 0
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Reply
DKParth13
| 5
I like turtles !!!
Reply
baconftw
| 9
Drink your problems away.
Reply
Dreamkiller51
| 5
76- up your ass lol
Reply
flagg1888
| 3
I think you do have a problem, time to go to a retox clinic!
Reply
someguy314159265
| 15
Ashamed for choosing not to drink enough to damage your brain?
I think you are the one who should be ashamed of yourself, #2
I think you are the one who should be ashamed of yourself, #2
Reply
SugarRushxx
| 0
Facepalm @125
Reply
kaoss54
| 3
125 I bet you're the sober guy at the party ruining everyone's time by trying to talk them out of drinking cuz you can't handle alcohol
Reply
someguy314159265
| 15
157 - I don't even go to parties, for Christ's sake!
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plasticspoon
| 0
You fail^
By
Mcdeath945
| 1
Is she a blonde?
Reply
max_wilder
| 9
At least you don't have to be in the car as she drives home drunk
Reply
DelilahPhan
| 6
What's wrong with blondes?
Reply
amayalives4music
| 1
132- there known to be stupid.
You have yet to learn.
You have yet to learn.
Reply
amayalives4music
| 1
I'm not saying they are but many people say so...
Reply
amayalives4music
| 1
.
Reply
grapisy
| 8
135- They're*
Filthy hypocrite.
Filthy hypocrite.
By
CinderellaC
| 4
you should consult my therapist, Dr. Jack Daniel
Reply
eminemchick
| 19
My therapist Dr. Sam Adams really helped me, too. I no longer have a no drinking problem now.:3
Reply
loserman67
| 35
or talk to his Old Grandad
Reply
aFatFuck
| 0
Actually, contrary to popular belief, Dr. Four Loko is the most intelligent and professional of the bunch.
Reply
sxe_beast
| 11
I just consult the grey geese at the local park for my problems or look to the skyy and ask the absolut one for advice.
Reply
Vash_41288
| 10
I also hear Dr.Bacardi has experimented with 151 and has had real results. Try his cure
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
That's nothing. Sir Amstel experimented with light beers and later became Presidente of Coors Light.
Reply
anencephalic
| 14
I've heard nothing but good of Dr. Pepper.
Reply
carpedhiem
| 0
I dont know about all your Doctors, but I've always spoken to General Jäger for his advice about bombs :)
Reply
CanadianPuckHead
| 4
Dr. C Morgan isnt half bad either
Reply
yadisingh
| 5
I heard that not drinking helps you live a longer life. Also, from abuse if alcohol consumption, you can damage your liver.
The joke was over after the Jack Daniels one, losers.
The joke was over after the Jack Daniels one, losers.
Reply
THE_A_TEEN
| 27
@ 111 you need help from DR. Mike and his patented Mikes Hard Lemonade
Reply
Shut_Your_Mouth
| 0
all the doctors names you listed are better than my FORMER therapist, Dr. Thunder.
Reply
Nico711
| 17
There’s this lady I go to called Stella Artois, she really helped me
By
Person1233
| 12
She just wants to rape you when you're drunk off your ass, so she will live off of your child support for the next 18 years when she gets pregnant.
You've just avoided her grand scheme. Good job.
You've just avoided her grand scheme. Good job.
By
saIty
| 17
Drink Mike's Hard Lemonade. Some people don't even call that alcohol.
Reply
Jesus_Christ69
| 0
It's got like 2% so you'd have to drink 20 just to make it like a shot of vodka practically xD
Reply
aKaClickZ
| 4
actually it has just as much alcohol as a beer
Reply
whisperingeye13
| 0
actually even more than most beers!
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becauseitsme
| 0
actually it's 5% dipshit. you must be 16.
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fthku
| 13
You drank a little too much bitch this morning, #69.
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BooGhosted
| 0
Hahahahahaha I know more 16 year olds that I can guarantee know more about alcohol than you.
By
whippymcdumb4zs
| 0
Come chill with me, I'll teach you how to stand after downing a half gallon of vodka.
By
HyphyPenguin
| 5
Wow. Well, that just shows she's too immature for you.
By
QueenQuay77
| 10
that sounds stupid to me, most girls have the opposite problem. I'll tell ya most girls don't no what they want and this is coming from a female
Reply
justs0me_r0mance
| 0
i couldn't have said it better myself
Reply
ironwords
| 8
Solution, trash her house, drink all the booze, jerk off in her panties then run then burn the house down
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
And don't have sex if she's too gone. When it comes to condoms- put two on.
Reply
anencephalic
| 14
Because the mind of a woman is universal? Please, stop this nonsensical sophism.
By
ramboman19
| 8
Better off without her. You don't need a girl who drinks a ton to enjoy life.
Reply
loserman67
| 35
girls who drink are girls who fuck
Reply
screamo_neve
| 12
Oh yes, win.