By thanks, cunt-o - 01/03/2014 17:23 - Australia - Blackburn

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 187
You deserved it 4 120

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Chip, penny, and used napkin. The gangs all here

This is why I stay indoors.


SexySlayer1248 18

I think I would swing at someone who did that to me

Lol you deserved it for trying to, "get some action," from women at a bar. Stuff like this is why women think guys are scumbags.

Some girls go 'to get action' too you you know. Not all, but enough.

No 42, stuff like that isn't why women think guys are douche bags. Douche baggery generally only comes into play when the guy (or girl, it goes both ways) is way too aggressive, and doesn't seem to understand the concept of rejection. Going into a club filled with young people looking for a good time with the hope of getting laid doesn't make him a douche bag.

This is why I stay indoors.

Exactly, a quiet night at home with a small group of friends is all I need.

Chip, penny, and used napkin. The gangs all here

All I need is my imagination. Not much else to do here in my padded one room apartment. Isn't that right Mr. Sock hand? (Goofy voice) "Uh yup yup Mr. Saxon, you got that right" . Mwahahahaha.

Low expectations named matched his comment so accurately.

What's that magical place where no one gets hurt? Oh right ! INDOORS .

#11 all I need is some food and a computer

OP's name just adds to the FML.

olpally 32

Great username! Haha, hope you punched him for doing that.

Never trust friends when they say anything about getting action. Or relevant.

That will be a funny story to tell your grandchildren.

Hey kids one time in 2014 60 years ago I went clubbing to get drunk and have sex but instead I got vomited on by a drunk man

After the person vomited on you, that was probably why you didnt get any more action that night. Considering you most likely smelled of vomit and had it all over your clothes. But I'm so sorry OP! You'll have a better time next time... if there is a next time that is

LusciousBaby23 11

what does OP mean ?

Original poster in this case meaning the person who wrote the FML on a thread you'd call the person who make the thread an OP since they're the first person to post aka the original poster

Hope you didn't stay there the rest of the night covered in vomit.

It's a new look, don't you know?

"Today, I was going clubbing with some of my bros, when, piss drunk, a vomited on a really hot girl. FML".

That would almost be ok, aside from spelling and the fact that OP is male.

Dammit! I always think of a clever comment, then I forget one vital detail.

I wouldn't go as far as saying "clever comment".

Spraying vomit? Thats some carny action right there. Sorry OP...hope your future shower will be everything you hope for and more