By wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 37671 You deserved it 3581 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/9/2020 17:01 Negotiations Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML I agree, your life sucks 678 You deserved it 814 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML I agree, your life sucks 15265 You deserved it 52067 254 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dumb cats - 24/10/2020 05:01 - United States - Victorville No, Drake, no Today, my girlfriend and I were walking near a pond when we saw a drake forcefully mating with a duck. She burst into tears and demanded I stop them. When I told her no, that it’s just nature and thats how they breed, she dumped me for supporting and "enabling rape." FML I agree, your life sucks 1459 You deserved it 618 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 23353 You deserved it 3420 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tired of my job - Canada - Surrey Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML I agree, your life sucks 23981 You deserved it 1363 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SuddenlyDogless - Canada - Beachville Today, my dog has very watery diarrhea. I laid down paper towels to soak it up, and went to get sanitary wipes for the rest of it. When I came back, my dog had dragged the paper towels up onto the sand coloured loveseat. Sand coloured no longer. FML I agree, your life sucks 7006 You deserved it 837 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PanFace - Australia Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML I agree, your life sucks 11093 You deserved it 121011 394 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whyme102008 - United States Family Matters Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 151463 You deserved it 8619 588 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spitballer1 - United States Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 49118 You deserved it 28991 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML I agree, your life sucks 42520 You deserved it 10655 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brendejafulable - 15/8/2020 14:02 Talk to me Today, I had a conversation about how my day was, while dreaming. That’s how lonely I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 1216 You deserved it 139 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Flyboy - United States Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML I agree, your life sucks 38737 You deserved it 4370 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By atetoeate - United States Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML I agree, your life sucks 39201 You deserved it 3794 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsolucky - Canada Today, I woke up at 11:11am. I was happy because I thought it was a sign that it was going to be a good day. I then realized that I was over an hour late for a job interview. FML I agree, your life sucks 12912 You deserved it 31195 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jadehin - United States Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML I agree, your life sucks 29330 You deserved it 4380 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleeplessinrichmond - United States - Bronx Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML I agree, your life sucks 43650 You deserved it 2944 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Hassocks Today, my best friend told me how his batshit insane girlfriend keeps questioning his sexuality and thinks we're screwing behind her back. He's so desperate for a relationship that he's decided to stop hanging out with me. Goodbye 7 years of friendship. FML I agree, your life sucks 29796 You deserved it 1764 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Silver Spring Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML I agree, your life sucks 28549 You deserved it 2849 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By firecrotch - United States Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML I agree, your life sucks 13760 You deserved it 35342 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Enko - France Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on she starts telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stops and says « Actually I don’t know why I’m telling you this, after all you don’t have a boyfriend! » and walks away. FML I agree, your life sucks 56420 You deserved it 5221 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jo - United States Today, there was an earthquake. Good news: the only damage was a tree fell on some loser's car. Bad news: that loser was me. FML I agree, your life sucks 33831 You deserved it 3046 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kmctl - United States - San Francisco Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 29863 You deserved it 1976 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleep deprived Three years Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 1477 You deserved it 334 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML I agree, your life sucks 51809 You deserved it 7303 456 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML I agree, your life sucks 41523 You deserved it 3153 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Korisite - United States Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML I agree, your life sucks 46002 You deserved it 24898 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kittykatkrunch - Australia Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML I agree, your life sucks 39633 You deserved it 3047 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By How's the salmon? - United States Today, my drunken mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML I agree, your life sucks 33495 You deserved it 3046 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spitt - United States - Franklin Today, after a big presentation, people sent an open invitation to dinner. When I asked which restaurant and what time, I was told that I wasn't invited. I've been here for three years. FML I agree, your life sucks 28367 You deserved it 2479 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Doggotmytongue - United States - Peoria Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 31271 You deserved it 6713 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TuteSweet - United States Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML I agree, your life sucks 37446 You deserved it 4775 269 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By potatoehead178 - United States - Fairfield I should? Today, while I finished my business with my girlfriend, she asked if I used Viagra. I replied, "No I never use Viagra." She responded with, "You should." FML I agree, your life sucks 2036 You deserved it 370 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By asthmatic - United States Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML I agree, your life sucks 51170 You deserved it 8737 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Protip Today, my endometriosis has reached stage 4 and has spread to many organs, including my colon. My constipation got so bad that my Apple Watch told me it was time to stand up. FML I agree, your life sucks 1771 You deserved it 88 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jenny - 5/4/2020 23:00 Three is a magic number Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML I agree, your life sucks 2137 You deserved it 445 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jaqlove - United States - Clementon Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML I agree, your life sucks 13918 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2626 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lifesucks4me - United States Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML I agree, your life sucks 160612 You deserved it 13731 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic". FML I agree, your life sucks 34252 You deserved it 2567 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Houston Today, a wasp ended up in the house. Normally, I'd just open a door to outside and run for cover, but my 3-year-old son was home, so I decided to be brave and kill it. It flew into the air vents. We're now playing wasp roulette every time we enter a room. FML I agree, your life sucks 12319 You deserved it 1804 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By What? - Australia Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML I agree, your life sucks 31517 You deserved it 4076 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheSovietOnion | 21 #6197521 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:00 No more midnight snacks for you Send a private message 393 4 Reply
By sullivankeara | 25 #6197522 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:01 It's like riding on the tower of terror only free! Send a private message 307 5 Reply
By TheSovietOnion | 21 #6197521 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:00 No more midnight snacks for you Send a private message 393 4 Reply
Reply Malahkaa | 19 #6197780 - Monday 9 February 2015 22:51 Especially Maccas!!! Send a private message 6 4 Reply
Reply gobiteme2 | 34 #6198056 - Tuesday 10 February 2015 5:00 You should never super size any order Send a private message 0 3 Reply
Reply lnheritance | 19 #6198128 - Tuesday 10 February 2015 7:12 Whole point of the light in the refrigerator is for midnight snacks. Is OP to take the bulb out?? Send a private message 3 1 Reply
Reply incoherentrmblr | 21 #6199241 - Wednesday 11 February 2015 8:34 You pulled a Cleveland from Family Guy, but with a bed instead... Send a private message 2 2 Reply
Reply asrfvjjvcvjjcv | 3 #6200085 - Thursday 12 February 2015 3:33 #98 you watch waaaay to many cartoons. I just saw a Simpsons reference on the other post! I know family guy is great but… Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By sullivankeara | 25 #6197522 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:01 It's like riding on the tower of terror only free! Send a private message 307 5 Reply
Reply CatLady4Lyf | 30 #6197546 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:18 Excluding the cost of ceiling repair and bed replacement.. Send a private message 53 7 Reply
Reply Caylypso | 6 #6197556 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:28 and years of therapy Send a private message 63 3 Reply
Reply MrConcise | 34 #6197738 - Monday 9 February 2015 21:40 Arguably less messy, though. Those Tower of Terror riders are spewers. Send a private message 17 4 Reply
Reply Just_A_Tree | 20 #6198141 - Tuesday 10 February 2015 7:29 Okay, so on the tower of terror, my seat belt buckle broke as the ride started. I needed to change underwear after that. I hope OP enjoyed the ride, cause anywhere else and a drop zone ride like that has a frickin long line! Send a private message 7 2 Reply
Reply Alex6986 | 10 #6200131 - Thursday 12 February 2015 4:45 How ironic since Im going to Universal Studios this weekend Send a private message 0 2 Reply
Reply snarkytruth | 37 #6212663 - Tuesday 24 February 2015 18:45 how is that ironic? You need to look up ironic and irony. I think you meant i"What a coincidence". Hope you had a good time at Universal. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By KhaleesiDannie | 26 #6197523 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:01 At least you had a great cushion for your fall Send a private message 131 4 Reply
Reply tygerarmy | 35 #6197585 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:44 That's what I was thinking. At least you landed on a soft bed. Now what did your bed land on? Hopefully not the bed of a person a floor below you. Send a private message 47 1 Reply
Reply OhWhoCares | 42 #6197670 - Monday 9 February 2015 20:04 Unless, of course, OP has a temperpedic (tempurpedic?) bed. I feel like that'd be equivalent to landing on the floor, in terms of comfort... Send a private message 12 5 Reply
Reply Nevermind212 | 11 #6197747 - Monday 9 February 2015 21:59 They either wrote this fml before getting out of bed (which I hope not) or no one was below them Send a private message 1 11 Reply
Reply Eloxia | 7 #6197854 - Monday 9 February 2015 23:48 But surprisingly, that glass of wine still didn't spill. Send a private message 23 1 Reply
Reply Retaheki | 27 #6197878 - Tuesday 10 February 2015 0:20 Tempurpedic got wrecked by #40. Send a private message 6 3 Reply
By doctorhook86 | 24 #6197525 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:01 Too much motion, I think. Send a private message 38 5 Reply
By mmazzaa | 16 #6197527 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:02 BAHAHAHAHHA Send a private message 21 17 Reply
Reply SystemofaBlink41 | 27 #6197969 - Tuesday 10 February 2015 2:15 *looks arounds* I could've sworn I heard a sheep around here... Send a private message 41 1 Reply
Reply XPhoenixFire | 17 #6198745 - Tuesday 10 February 2015 23:02 Am i the only one surprised that #5 didn't get downvoted to oblivion? Normally a comment like that gets buried. Send a private message 9 1 Reply
Reply mmazzaa | 16 #6198888 - Wednesday 11 February 2015 1:44 Bahahha Send a private message 2 8 Reply
By ZhippyDavid | 8 #6197528 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:04 You better go take a jog... Send a private message 12 15 Reply
By Welshite | 39 #6197530 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:05 You've been watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks too much. Send a private message 13 5 Reply
By Silly_Lilly6969 | 23 #6197533 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:09 That sounds like a good ole story to tell your grandchildren! Send a private message 11 5 Reply
By WCARlover | 34 #6197534 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:09 You're just taking mattress sliding down stairs to and amping it way up Send a private message 30 2 Reply
By LittleMissShadow | 16 #6197536 - Monday 9 February 2015 18:09 Is your life a cartoon? Send a private message 88 1 Reply
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after finding out that I opened an Onlyfans account. FML I agree, your life sucks 188 You deserved it 1165 9 Comments
Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends,... I agree, your life sucks 713 You deserved it 97 6 Comments