By Anonymous - Canada - Courtenay
  Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
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  Drigr  |  9

I woulda been like, "Uh.... I always keep one on...?" then ran out the front door. Then again, my most recent ex's step dad scared the living shit out of me and it woulda been running for my life

  Fml_FTW228  |  10

Everybody come check this FML. It's kind of recent.

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

In the commenting of the first comment there is funny shit xD. Just read the last commented that was commented under the #1 comment. Ok :p

  cheetahbaby96  |  8

Well considering the size difference between hard and soft, you would think if he lost his boner at the sight of her dad it would slide precariously until finally falling to its impending doom.

  Achall91  |  17

I find it absolutely disgusting that people do it in their parents bed. Why the hell would you want to have sex where your parents sleep and also have sex. So gross.

  luckyd880  |  12

*kicks condom under table*
" what's for dinner?"

Gf dad:
"Well I think I'll just have spaghetti and your-balls with vodka sauce"

  flipfloperson  |  5

144 - Some people refer to the bathroom as "the toilet." Since he said "could've gone there," it is safe to assume that he meant the bathroom as a whole.

  buckstop1  |  37

Actually: if you are a fan of ice breakers, you could use an empty ice breaker container to store the used condom. That way when you throw it away no one will see said condom

By  ManInTheMachine  |  19

Dad: Hey Dan! How's you and my daughter's relationship going?

OP: *tightening belt*

Ummm...great! Our conversations are definitely getting more intimat--I MEAN DEEP--DAMMIT! No, I mean personal. Yeah, personal.

Dad: That's good.

*leans in*

Just remember: if you so much as look at my daughter in a sexual way, you will wish you were never with her. EVER.

OP: Yes sir! Uh, gotta go. Moms callin--

*condom drops onto floor*
*pisses pants*


While you two were busy pissing and moaning about my comment I looked at it, and established that it is probably one of my worst comments. Wanna know what I did after that? I had dinner and watched some TV, them came back to look at the rest of the comments.

My comment was bad. I don't need two assholes getting hot and bothered about it to realize that. I apologize if it I inconvinienced you by forcing you to read it, but if you didn't like it, there is a certain button that helps you with that problem.

  aw3som3sauc3  |  10

Actually, I found his comment more intriguing than the actual FML, so if you would kindly refrain from speaking such harsh words, it would be much appreciated.

Now a shortened version for the incompetent people online.
Dude, shut the fuck up.

Thank you.

  reddudeover  |  2

34 - Are you KIDDING me? Half (if not more) of your comments on this website are bashing other people for having "bad" comments or being "stupid".

"there is a certain button that helps you with that problem"

Don't mind if I do.



And your comments are joy from heaven above, right? I don't think so. If half (if not more) of mine are bashing people, then half of yours are buried. The people that I 'bash' fall under this category :

-'That sucks OP.'
-'Your an idiot.'
-Blatant ignorance about an issue.
-Trolls that make idiotic comments solely to piss people off.
-Anyone that falls in between.

Unfortunately, people like this are abundant on this site, which is why it seems like I'm always attacking somebody. But I do not just attack people for no reason. In fact, the other 'half' of my comments are cracking jokes and having fun with other commenters.

So yes, I do have faults, but nobody is perfect. You can go ahead and dislike me, but you'll have to get that I don't care what someone I've never met thinks of me. I hope I haven't hindered your FML experience in any way. Please accept my deepest apologies.

  robinhood007  |  9

147 - I'm glad at least you realized this. People, y'all need to stop taking things so seriously. His comments suck because they're always so overdone. I can have my opinions like you. It's as if FML is your life and you judge your self worth on how many thumbs up you someone else already said..he tries too hard, hence why his comment is buried, mines buried because people are too sensitive.

  luckyd880  |  12

Ya but they corrected wrong. "you're" doesn't make sense. That would be like saying "you are" which doesn't fit. So original commenter was right.


You guys are dumb. There are two 'your's in the comment. The first one is wrong, the second one is right. Goodness, do you guys learn anything? If I get buried, that would mean no.