Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security... - FML

By iamnotuseless - 10/12/2010 11:37

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30757

You deserved it

5056

Tweet

Share

Superficial World

Big baby man

Fear factor

By Protectress - 23/8/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33063

You deserved it

10473

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/4/2015 17:33 - United Kingdom - Limavady

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33549

You deserved it

2570

Tweet

Share

By Professional_Ars - 14/10/2018 14:00

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2764

You deserved it

357

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/11/2009 03:05 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36479

You deserved it

2165

Tweet

Share

By helpme - 24/11/2015 06:34 - United States - Annapolis

Today, my anxiety cockblocked me. I was in the middle of a wank, about to come, when I suddenly freaked out and had to stop and check to make sure I didn't have any homework due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25464

You deserved it

4591

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/5/2016 04:48 - United States - Rocky Mount

Today, I had to sit through the wedding of my best friend and the love of my life, and pretend to be happy for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16885

You deserved it

3328

Tweet

Share

By wasp infestation - 3/10/2016 04:54 - United States - Aurora

Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14382

You deserved it

994

Tweet

Share

By mmromig - 8/2/2011 14:46 - United States

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27367

You deserved it

5546

Tweet

Share

By - 26/1/2017 00:00

Today, I'm dating a guy who's back hair is longer than his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5098

You deserved it

1514

Tweet

Share

By GOLLUM! - 18/5/2017 00:00

Today, after being without my car keys for two days, I finally got a locksmith to unlock my car on the off chance I'd left my keys in there. $170 later, the car was open, but I didn't find my keys. Frustrated, I threw the paperwork in the garbage... where I spotted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3581

You deserved it

1927

Tweet

Share

By Tenniemo - 20/6/2018 15:00 - United States

Today, while packing up my classroom, I had a sudden stinging pain in my finger. Since I live in Arizona, my first thought was a black widow or scorpion, but the ER doctor didn't believe me and said it's nothing. Tell that to my tingling swollen arm. It’s been 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3631

You deserved it

190

Tweet

Share

By dam01 - 2/8/2009 07:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55175

You deserved it

10320

Tweet

Share

By JunkDex - 23/12/2015 07:45 - Australia - Merrylands

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25436

You deserved it

1676

Tweet

Share

By Kat - 8/11/2008 07:51 - France

Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34306

You deserved it

5203

Tweet

Share

By chunderful202 - 24/12/2012 08:46 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12751

You deserved it

41313

Tweet

Share

By Amandajean32 - 5/8/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30723

You deserved it

2604

Tweet

Share

By CatLover<3 - 18/6/2013 23:27 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46406

You deserved it

21850

Tweet

Share

By Jeslyn03 - 13/1/2012 18:57 - Canada

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41999

You deserved it

3274

Tweet

Share

By bureaucratic assfuckery - 4/1/2013 20:51 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28548

You deserved it

1810

Tweet

Share

By Angelica - 26/5/2011 03:19 - Canada

Today, I finally got the wedding dress I've been waiting months to see. It turns out that my mom ordered the dress 2 sizes smaller than my size, this way it will be "an incentive to lose weight". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39391

You deserved it

6129

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/1/2012 14:15 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29147

You deserved it

6126

Tweet

Share

By Chilly - 3/3/2014 07:13 - United States - Wasilla

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend had broken up with me. She was more upset about it than I was. She actually almost cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42570

You deserved it

4250

Tweet

Share

By bad poet - 2/12/2013 01:57 - United States - Millerton

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43444

You deserved it

4504

Tweet

Share

By ApparentWeirdo - 6/6/2017 14:00

Today, my boyfriend called me weird because I keep gloves in the glove box in my car. He's never seen that before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1786

You deserved it

311

Tweet

Share

By Steve - 24/2/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13624

You deserved it

36084

Tweet

Share

By Catherine - 23/5/2011 19:33 - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with vision problems. The nurse was helping my mom fill out the paperwork. When asked for her employer, my mom started trying to sell the nurse Aflac, and got into a serious 10 minute conversation about it, all while I'm going blind in my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36350

You deserved it

3175

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/4/2016 17:32 - United States - East Stroudsburg

Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13531

You deserved it

2845

Tweet

Share

By chanclepants - 27/1/2010 13:35 - France

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49200

You deserved it

13963

Tweet

Share

By omfgnooo - 9/9/2011 23:22 - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17759

You deserved it

54590

Tweet

Share

By ineedalife - 2/2/2013 12:08 - Australia

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35401

You deserved it

22327

Tweet

Share

By Username - 11/8/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26882

You deserved it

15189

Tweet

Share

By Biggie - 12/5/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51669

You deserved it

12850

Tweet

Share

By damnitsam - 6/8/2017 20:00

Today, while making lunch, I passed out. After waking up in the hospital, my brother yelled at me for leaving the freezer open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5219

You deserved it

355

Tweet

Share

By neverbeenkissed - 3/7/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53970

You deserved it

9025

Tweet

Share

By Judgeisalwaysright - 1/3/2016 08:57 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, while at a big speech and debate tournament, I corrected the judge's use of the word "podium" instead of lectern, because that's what my debate coach had told me was the correct usage. Well, she didn't take it too well and neither did my partner. Or my debate coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11669

You deserved it

20786

Tweet

Share

By wowthanksworld - 22/3/2013 15:42 - United States

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37816

You deserved it

3233

Tweet

Share

By mustanggt - 10/7/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8812

You deserved it

31025

Tweet

Share

By baby names - 23/9/2018 22:00

Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3201

You deserved it

242

Tweet

Share

By BGood - 21/12/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39253

You deserved it

3916

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/2/2018 15:00

(facepalm)

Today, while working roadside assistance, I arrived to a bewildered client who couldn't find their spare tire. The vehicle in question was a Jeep. I pointed out the spare, but was corrected as "that's just for decoration." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4787

You deserved it

283

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By xxmollyxx | 25

#1823926 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:08

Maybe you should invest in some nicer clothes, and/or a hair cut?

By alakomonus | 0

#1823891 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:04

that is messed up

Comments

By alakomonus | 0

#1823891 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:04

that is messed up

Reply

Adolf_Grammer_Hi | 0

#1823914 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:06

awesome

Reply

XelaKJK | 0

#1824200 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:52

I like how her nane is iamnotuseless, implying that homeless individuals are useless...I beg to differ!

Reply

fisheatsbear | 6

#1824211 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:54

YDI for Not being a hobo.

Reply

fisheatsbear | 6

#1824224 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:55

yeah.... ( T_T)

Reply

WishResign | 0

#1824401 - Friday 10 December 2010 17:23

perhaps you could dress better? people are rude, you can't change that, but this should be your wake up call to clean yourself up a bit. nothing fancy, but not bum-like either.

Reply

iBimmer | 0

#1824442 - Friday 10 December 2010 17:29

I come back to this website a year later to find out that all my comments have been removed.

Hello, all!

OP, YDI for getting sick.

Reply

Ismellwin | 0

#1824619 - Friday 10 December 2010 18:13

I guess this is what happens when you neglect hygiene.

Reply

nikki456123 | 0

#1824732 - Friday 10 December 2010 18:53

some times u can't help being a hobo and either was that's a gay comment

Reply

omfgTACOsYeSs | 0

#1824769 - Friday 10 December 2010 19:03

like his face.

Reply

rickolette | 0

#1826274 - Saturday 11 December 2010 5:27

AHAHAHAHA!!
I ALMOST PEED MY PANTS!!!
AHA HA HA HA!!!!

Reply

Lito127 | 0

#1827894 - Saturday 11 December 2010 10:19

That's hilarious & such a sad story. ;P

Reply

ExEmoPsychoGirl | 0

#2603644 - Thursday 2 June 2011 4:41

YDI for not being a hobo and fussing hobos as useless ha

By OuchCharlie | 0

#1823906 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:05

lol. fkd up.

By funnydufe111 | 0

#1823911 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:06

woot number 1 :D

Reply

BDTM | 0

#1823987 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:18

will get modded?^

Reply

nycy | 0

#1824007 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:21

they never said first all they said they were number one

By xxmollyxx | 25

#1823926 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:08

Maybe you should invest in some nicer clothes, and/or a hair cut?

Reply

LaylaXstripped | 0

#1824167 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:47

that would be the best option

Reply

iwuvwolfz | 0

#1826762 - Saturday 11 December 2010 8:28

lol for a sec, i thought your pic was some overflowed turd in a toilet xD

Reply

xxmollyxx | 25

#1828609 - Saturday 11 December 2010 14:39

haha aww

Reply

bornjordan | 0

#2638880 - Tuesday 7 June 2011 21:29

so did I(:

By machiko_fml | 0

#1823935 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:10

Sounds like you need a make over. :)

By DahkLohd | 4

#1823939 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:10

YDI for looking like a hobo.

Reply

LaylaXstripped | 0

#1824191 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:50

thats not nice

Reply

DahkLohd | 4

#1824361 - Friday 10 December 2010 17:14

Voldemort isn't nice. :-)

BTW - I was only joking; maybe I should have mentioned that.

Reply

TaylorTheBoss | 4

#1824529 - Friday 10 December 2010 17:48

lmao,kids...

Reply

hairt | 4

#1825072 - Friday 10 December 2010 20:22

avada kedavra! hahahahaha =)

By ohgodwtf | 0

#1823943 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:10

Ew. Grody.

By yumsugarr | 8

#1823949 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:12

eww. that's strange..at least you brushed him off!?

By lammylamb17 | 0

#1823958 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:13

lmao maybe you should look in a mirror. just saying

By skyeyez9 | 24

#1823960 - Friday 10 December 2010 16:14

I see hobos at the local walmart here and if you resemble one of them, ydi. Hobos have no home to shower, and look clean. you have a home, resources to have clean clothes, decent haircut and showers! Use them.

Reply

AceArctic | 4

#1826525 - Saturday 11 December 2010 7:20

Maybe he's just a hippie?