Miscellaneous: Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school....

By bex - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25510

You deserved it

2165

Favorite

Miscellaneous

And today, on Dr Phil…

Death at one's elbow

Catching up

By paranoid - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14650

You deserved it

54944

Favorite

By lonelygirl - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37233

You deserved it

5644

Favorite

By modprobs

Perfect timing...

Today, my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in months because we live in different countries, is coming to stay with me. I've been the picture of health for months, but today I woke up with my period, a terrible cold, and tooth pain from that root canal my dentist told me I didn't need a few years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3643

You deserved it

265

Favorite

By Mishti

Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4127

You deserved it

1569

Favorite

By loser - United States

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13445

You deserved it

34734

Favorite

By reese - 11/6/2020 05:03

The arrogance of youth

Today, as always, I had to have my dad help me with my computer issues. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? FML

I agree, your life sucks

906

You deserved it

510

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30661

You deserved it

3095

Favorite

By dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23668

You deserved it

2848

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Pittsburg

Today, my mom said if I dont get straight A's in my classes this year, she'll get the school to hold me back until I do. I believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21425

You deserved it

2483

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Bonita Springs

Today, my sister got promoted to manager at the store we both work at. Since company policy states that siblings can't work at the same store if one of them is a manager, I was let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26372

You deserved it

1817

Favorite

By foxbrat - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32141

You deserved it

3279

Favorite

By stoych - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29989

You deserved it

5921

Favorite

By Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46750

You deserved it

3071

Favorite

By Anna - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8745

You deserved it

51584

Favorite

By okay then - United States - Avon Lake

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45728

You deserved it

3505

Favorite

By "AdorableDoxie"

Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2322

That could've happened to me

344

Favorite

By kiwi - United Kingdom

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47215

You deserved it

5556

Favorite

By lolu - United States

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31664

You deserved it

6272

Favorite

By Kim422 - United States

Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34888

You deserved it

4579

Favorite

By Rhine - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33062

You deserved it

14988

Favorite

By Ren - United States

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52552

You deserved it

4311

Favorite

By Scaryman - United States

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35193

You deserved it

4148

Favorite

By mer - United States

Today, I told my best friend of 10 years that somewhere along the way I fell in love with him and I think we should be together. His response: "I appreciate the sentiment." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33847

You deserved it

4138

Favorite

By she knows - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53086

You deserved it

3270

Favorite

By crazygirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22363

You deserved it

5134

Favorite

By Mapmouse - 27/1/2021 11:03

Open season

Today, I drove home to Las Vegas after being in quarantine in Los Angeles for two weeks. The lights were on and the lock was busted. My apartment is completely ransacked. Yay 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks

911

You deserved it

Favorite

Very good remedy

Today, after suffering with anxiety and insomnia for a nearly a year and exhausting every natural remedy, I could think of, I finally decided to go to a Dr. for help. Instead of writing me a prescription, he told me to drink more teas and think happy thoughts. I had to pay out of pocket for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1931

You deserved it

208

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Staycation time

Today, £250 of money belonging to work was stolen from my handbag. My boss says I have to pay it back because I'm the one that signed out the cash. There goes the holiday I was about to book. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6245

You deserved it

999

Favorite

By bobuhbeartoe - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33788

You deserved it

19934

Favorite

By datingablonde - Australia - Attadale

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38175

You deserved it

9574

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52533

You deserved it

4795

Favorite

By Undercooked - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52775

You deserved it

4725

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10483

You deserved it

62634

Favorite

By Idle_Twin - United States - Miami

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14899

You deserved it

33221

Favorite

By Shodan2112 - United States

Today, as I go to a small private Christian college, the academic dean came up to me and asked me to put some old records on CD, since I have a record player that can do that. I had to listen to eight records of old students from the 1970's singing bible thumper Christian hippie music. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26949

You deserved it

9603

Favorite

By mehdi

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

326225

Phew, glad it wasn't me

33659

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23763

You deserved it

36860

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 14:01

Out of the frying pan…

Today, I thought I finally had a decent boyfriend. He didn’t seem like an emotionally unavailable alcoholic like my past boyfriends. Then I found out he’s an unemployed Trump supporter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1456

You deserved it

724

Favorite

By Zanovitch - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47965

You deserved it

4255

Favorite

By fired - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10178

You deserved it

65198

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By shaPOW | 0

#65545 - Saturday 28 March 2009 22:25

unless you were close friends in high school, it's not a big deal that she doesn't recognize you.

By Jimmy_fml | 0

#7252 - Wednesday 25 February 2009 20:55

lol, man that sucks. it could of been worse she could of just gave your friends hugs then walked away.

COMMENTS

By Jimmy_fml | 0

#7252 - Wednesday 25 February 2009 20:55

lol, man that sucks. it could of been worse she could of just gave your friends hugs then walked away.

By hahakare | 0

#19278 - Saturday 7 March 2009 5:14

Yeah, maybe you just changed a lot.

By shaPOW | 0

#65545 - Saturday 28 March 2009 22:25

unless you were close friends in high school, it's not a big deal that she doesn't recognize you.

By dani_fizzle | 0

#86059 - Monday 6 April 2009 4:39

Shit, that's cold!

By Exhumed91 | 0

#143313 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:39

Agreed, this is a good thing if you have changed at all for the better since high school.

By thebigal78 | 0

#267445 - Friday 5 June 2009 0:12

Oooo tht sux bbro

By Gromie | 0

#268612 - Friday 5 June 2009 4:24

Maybe she didn't recognize u cuz got hot! Not so much of an fml

niamhyo | 13

#5962424 - Sunday 1 June 2014 16:23

Or maybe she got ugly?

By BBkid | 0

#369106 - Sunday 5 July 2009 3:27

So? She doesn't know u so y would she hug u?

kpopfanatic93 | 6

#3809029 - Saturday 31 December 2011 1:32

I think you're missing the point; she does know him.

rachilio | 26

#5102187 - Wednesday 31 October 2012 20:34

She went to high school with him. She's SUPPOSED to know him.

By nerdygeek | 4

#966084 - Monday 22 March 2010 2:45

she hates you

By buggybeauty | 0

#977161 - Saturday 10 April 2010 10:17

so what? does it really matter?