Love: Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and...

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in the park and I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 658

You deserved it 4 517

Love

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 817

You deserved it 7 667

By Tiffosaur - 04/01/2013 06:12 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 978

You deserved it 2 639

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 769

You deserved it 329

Oh shit

By das_shizzle - 30/09/2020 23:02 - United States - Montesano

Today, as I was getting ready to go to class, I accidentally stepped in dog poop. I was in a hurry, so I scraped it off as best as I could. When I go to class, I noticed it smelled. The girl behind me noticed and said, "Mmmmm, smells like food in here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 107

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 383

You deserved it 50 952

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 798

You deserved it 4 118

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 514

You deserved it 37 915

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 713

You deserved it 2 726

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 938

You deserved it 4 830

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 18:26

Thank god your date was blind and didn't see it eh? That would have been embarrassing.

thegr8dane 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 16:21

so, any bets on how many "shitty situation" puns we're gonna see? this, of course, including variations thereof...

Comments

thegr8dane 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 16:21

so, any bets on how many "shitty situation" puns we're gonna see? this, of course, including variations thereof...

SenorSiesta 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 19:51

I guess you could say she was having.... ... a crappy day (YEEEAAAAHHHH)

kingston52 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 4:00

the dog crap thing isnt so bad, it happens to everyone but the goose poop ist bad at all geese poop is dry and solid, it wouldnt mess anything up, you could just dust it away

SeedlessMe 13

Tuesday 16 March 2010 3:09

That would be rabbits--- Goose poop does come out wet and mushy ;-)

SeedlessMe 13

Tuesday 16 March 2010 3:11

And FYL op, but hey-- if she didn't run screaming from that, You've got a keeper!!

asher888 11

Thursday 15 July 2010 16:29

16 you forgot the shades.

detroiter 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 16:28

Pointing out the shoe shit would have likely been humorous & you could have then not had to try to sneakily get it off your shoe therefore not fallen in the goose shit.

davidhasmorefun 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 16:33

there are geese out at this time of year? I call fake on this one.

Lonely_Lez 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 16:38

I agree. Geese, in Washington state, in January. Does not compute.

andydawg8891 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 16:43

It's possible (but not likely). I live in PA and we have a park that's located down stream from a power plant. The foul there never leave because the water is fairly warm all year round.