By Anonymous - 08/02/2014 18:49 - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 732
You deserved it 11 057

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Well he won't be getting a peck on the cheek anytime soon.


Well he won't be getting a peck on the cheek anytime soon.

nightowl713 25

Wow. He seems like a real douche. Sexual exploits should be kept between the couple. It's extremely demeaning to have ones personal life discussed. He seems pretty immature to me.

buttcramp 21

couldn't have said it better myself #42! OP, I would tell him you're not going to do him any sexual favors until he proves himself to be more considerate. I feel like the laugh from his friends meant more to him than your feelings.. not cool. I'd have a chat about it and take it from there because you don't deserve this.

Eff_Itt 20

#42 although I definitely see where you are coming from and I agree that most of the time that isn't okay, some people have the kind of relationship where they talk to their friends about things like and it's okay. Especially with teenagers that have mutual friends and can light-heartedly joke about that stuff.

Obviously OP was embarrassed about it, being new to the oral realm and all, and her boyfriend NEVER should have said anything to his friends about it. That's a very personal thing. My friends and I can and do talk about ANYTHING sex or otherwise, but I wouldn't say anything that I know would make my boyfriend embarrassed or uncomfortable! That's unacceptable behavior.

buttcramp 21

49, you're right until you said the part about light joking. I will tell my friends "oh my husband and I did things a little different last night and it was soooo good to mix it up!" that's all the details they need lol but if you do choose to be more open, it should be agreed between the couple that this is okay. Also, I don't think being made fun of behind your back by your partner is acceptable.

It kind of sounds like his interest in OP is from her neck to her knees, and anything above doesn't matter.

Hey at least she doesn't have to come up with her own stage name!

Shouldn't that be mouth-eye coordination?

god damn you're eager. Can't even wait to make sure it's lined up right.

sterling1113 15

Well I guess that was the first and the last time. At least for a while, anyway. It's not okay to share stuff like that with friends :( sorry OP

olpally 32

Woody woodpecker.... Hahaha. That mental image is hilarious! Better luck next time!

Ha ha ha HA ha! Ha ha ha HA ha! Hahahaha!

I'm assuming you are being thumbed down because nobody understood your comment, 14. I, however, found it hilarious =)

juan3611 14

#14 comment was the imitation of woody woodpecker's laugh if you didn't get the reference

That is the best situational pun I have ever heard.

FelKysier 7

Not right to share that, but haha creative nick name.

Own the new name! Imagine your boyfriend waking up to you pecking his morning wood.

and that's when you tell him that his wood ain't pecking anything anytime soon.

simplysarcastics 26

Would she then become popeye?

crazytwinsmom 25

Be careful with that thing, you'll poke your eye out with it!