Miscellaneous: Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All... - FML

By MikeyPeters - United States

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

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Understandable

Our house, in the middle of our street

Poker Face

By Anonymous

My stupidity

Today, I got my period and went clubbing. I had to change my tampon and stupidly I only brought one, when I unwrapped it, it fell on the floor, I had to wait in the girl's bathroom for 45 minutes for a random girl to give me a spare. FML.

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By jam - Australia

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/4/2021 17:00

He got game

Today, my son told me he's had 5 boyfriends and is currently working to improve himself before getting into another relationship. When I was his age, I was still single. My son has more game than I do. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I went to Sunday school for the first time. The priest assured us we could ask him anything, so I did. When class ended the priest pulled me and my mom aside and asked her to stop bringing me to Sunday school until "she learns not to question the bible and accept what she is told". FML

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By rusrs - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML

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By Hungryman - France

Today, I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal from a fast food restaurant. Turns out, they didn't give me diet. My blood sugar spiked and I was sick for hours later. I'm a diabetic. FML

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By nicknack22 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

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By FMluck - United States

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

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By Annie - United States

Waste

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

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By pandaface - United Kingdom

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML

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By financially_wreckd

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

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By Lemonhead - United States

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

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By callofdutyhater - United States

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

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By KrissyBearr - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

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By cartrouble - United States

Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML

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By Benjamin - Canada

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

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By socargone

Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML

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By like - United States

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

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By Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

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By ProneToBlondeMoments - United Kingdom

Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML

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By marcymoo - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

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By Busted - United Kingdom

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend since I believed him to be cheating on me with another woman, something he adamantly denied. I went to his house to get all my stuff back. After I left, I discovered a silk thong that definitely did not belong to me, in amongst my clothes. FML

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By oops - Australia - Wembley

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Indianapolis

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

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By anon. - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

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By NotSarahConnor - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boss thought it was funny to fire me by putting on dark sunglasses and saying "You have been terminated" in a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. FML

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By wellokthen - United States - Birmingham

Bed move

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

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By AudraRose - United States

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

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By overreacting - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

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By Noname - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

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By oogabooga9

Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Atwater

Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML

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By Angelofkarma - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

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By Smittynumerouno - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had an old man yell in my face because the boxes in our store only had Spanish words on them. I spent 15 minutes apologizing and trying to explain that the English was on the back side. He stormed out before I could even show him. FML

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By Anonymous - Singapore - Singapore

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

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By oops - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

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By never again - Canada - Carstairs

Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

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Top comments

By FuzzMonkey09 | 0

#29653 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:14

Uranus sure did look bright tonight.

By Ghettogreen | 0

#29705 - Friday 13 March 2009 13:05

The message I got from clicking on "you deserved that one is" - "yeah! way to show 'em"

Epic Win.

COMMENTS

By FuzzMonkey09 | 0

#29653 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:14

Uranus sure did look bright tonight.

Reply

geovanni | 9

#1448941 - Thursday 23 September 2010 20:38

I LIEK COCK!

Reply

Jeffers123 | 5

#4298093 - Friday 13 April 2012 5:12

Great, first comment!

Reply

lil_ham1644 | 29

#5891145 - Thursday 20 March 2014 22:00

@#32. I do too, but I have the decency to keep it to myself.

By Jimboom | 11

#29655 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:18

Well your full moon trumps their half moon pose. :-P

By amelinat | 0

#29682 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:44

Yoga is kind of dull, I'll bet they all welcomed the distraction.

By CequalsMD | 0

#29693 - Friday 13 March 2009 12:56

ellipticals are for women

By Ghettogreen | 0

#29705 - Friday 13 March 2009 13:05

The message I got from clicking on "you deserved that one is" - "yeah! way to show 'em"

Epic Win.

Reply

RayMo_fml | 1

#2742799 - Thursday 23 June 2011 16:39

that's what happens to all of them buddy.

Reply

kai_ngo | 0

#3063334 - Monday 8 August 2011 11:53

Someone doesn't get the joke. *snickers*

By draccon136 | 0

#29777 - Friday 13 March 2009 15:09

lol #5, because of you I clicked it just to see.

By RHK_fml | 0

#29783 - Friday 13 March 2009 15:14

This isn't that bad. Def not a FML moment.

By Ddawggin | 0

#29799 - Friday 13 March 2009 15:34

How do you remember there is a window there? Isn't that just blatantly obvious?

By faygo19 | 0

#29805 - Friday 13 March 2009 15:42

As long as they didn't call the cops and arrest you this was a great way to get some numbers

By lametta | 0

#29924 - Friday 13 March 2009 17:23

Why would you pull down your pants in the gym? Regardless of whether it's against a wall, people can still see you from the side...