Miscellaneous: Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway...

By PiaNO - 10/11/2009 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 254

You deserved it 3 521

Miscellaneous

Our house, in the middle of our street

This Charming Man

That's a hard no, Patricia

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 10:08 - United States

Today, I came home from my 2 week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 765

You deserved it 4 806

By gymbob - 06/05/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 757

You deserved it 103 290

Close-Knit Family

By Bleached_Eyes - 02/04/2018 00:00 - United States - Pikesville

Today, I finally met my girlfriend's family. When it was time for dinner, I was sent upstairs to get her brother. When I walked in, he was laid out on his bed getting a rimjob from his cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 502

You deserved it 639

Noooo, not him

By Jenni - 21/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mother arranged for me to meet the man she is planning to marry. Turns out, my future stepfather is also my creepy old boss, who spent 4 months hitting on me before I quit a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 57

In the bag!

By hiccups - 16/05/2021 14:02

Today, I had a job interview. I thought it was going pretty well, until I got the hiccups. The interviewer immediately said, "Yeah, I think we’re done here," and sent me away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 58

By Shelbitchh - 28/07/2011 09:11 - United States

Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 623

You deserved it 5 347

Dash!

By pokeOww - 13/09/2019 22:00

Today, my brother thought it'd be hilarious to tease a group of Pokémon players. They thought it'd be hilarious to beat both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 1 347

By kronin - 12/10/2010 10:59 - United States

Today, I woke up in a field 3 miles from where I'd passed out drunk. This wouldn't have been too bad if I didn't have to walk home through town without my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 952

You deserved it 39 924

What the…?

By lordoftheweird - 29/07/2021 10:59

Today, because no one else was willing to, I had to explain to my uncle that he's white, that I'm not his grandfather, and that he's mentally challenged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 62

Bad day

By Matt L - 21/08/2020 14:07 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I discovered a nail in the tire of my car and a nice sized crack on the screen of my phone. I didn't think the day could get worse, until on my way to fix my tire, the cherry of my cigarette fell off and burned a huge hole in my driver's seat. This was my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 1 242

By redcherries90 - 08/12/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 623

You deserved it 3 985

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 886

You deserved it 10 088

By Djcc - 21/02/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 914

You deserved it 7 080

By FML - 15/05/2012 19:02 - Finland

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 910

You deserved it 8 562

By sarahijklmnop - 15/11/2012 01:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 049

You deserved it 2 005

By prostitutes boyfriend - 21/10/2011 14:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 223

You deserved it 4 366

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 851

You deserved it 15 134

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 283

You deserved it 587

By My mom - 18/03/2010 01:10 - France

Today, my mom walked me to school to make sure I don't cut class. I'm 20 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 940

You deserved it 12 174

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 486

You deserved it 2 778

By dead - 18/03/2016 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I've been awake for 4 days. My doctor recently put me on enough sleeping pills to kill a small country, but when I take them it's like a shot of adrenaline. I'm wide awake and tired as all hell at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 107

You deserved it 1 526

By KobraKommander - 17/03/2010 11:51 - France

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 496

You deserved it 92 449

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 143

You deserved it 3 303

By xero_art - 26/06/2009 09:51 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 755

You deserved it 7 720

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 179

You deserved it 2 224

Like tears in rain

By anabanannailoveu - 17/07/2021 07:59

Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 353

By fuck you, dad - 27/09/2012 18:36 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 641

You deserved it 6 273

By Cantgetno - 20/09/2011 07:45 - United States

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 311

You deserved it 6 801

By blood buddies - 03/07/2014 17:53 - United States - Milford

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 401

You deserved it 8 626

By NeverLookingAgain - 30/12/2015 04:16 - United States

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 366

You deserved it 2 012

By Tommy - 06/03/2012 18:55 - United States

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 747

You deserved it 23 288

By Rodrigeuz26 - 22/01/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 194

You deserved it 4 468

By fuckingjesusgran - 07/05/2013 22:13 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Sarajevo

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 122

You deserved it 3 545

By Harry - 05/12/2009 05:29 - United States

Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofas to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 177

You deserved it 6 219

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 526

You deserved it 2 848

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 645

You deserved it 12 970

By Henji - 10/12/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 948

You deserved it 41 277

By Reasondon - 13/12/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 261

You deserved it 4 380

By Monster-in-law - 09/08/2017 16:30 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 860

You deserved it 247

Sweet, my ass

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 15:30 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I worked with a sweet old lady. She refused to cook most of the food on the menu, and the food she did cook was super oily. When she received complaints about it, she blamed me for not draining the oil. When the customer defended me, she then told the customer it was her job to drain the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 65

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Top comments

Jewelofagal 2

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:38

Ten years old is plenty old enough to know that such an action would hurt someone's fingers. At this age, it's just scary and psychopathic behavior. If I were in your shoes, I would release this "client" from further lessons.

nonynony 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:42

What a brat! I used to teach lessons. Tell her parent to either discipline their fucking kid or forget coming back. Their choice. If they've let their kid get to age 10 with this kind of behavior, they should be ashamed. God I hate parents these days.

mkpj 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:36

OUCH!

tcnorden 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 3:17

I condemn you for not saying "FIRSTTTT!!!" Thank you.

IgniteMe28 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 3:47

do you mean "commend" ? they are kind of... opposites...

Sun_Kissed18 25

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 4:11

Nope, condemn is right! :) mkpj we banish you because you didn't say first!! >:O

Atamix 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 17:07

LMFAO

J0gby 0

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Sunday 8 August 2010 7:59

sounds like a devil child to me.

krazygirl100 9

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Friday 1 April 2011 20:37

the parents should pay extra

CarterColbie 4

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:37

Damn.

Edumacated 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 9:58

wtf #69? Are you also 10? Please go die.

pleasetryagain 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 15:59

Dude, when I was ten and learning piano the tutor often sat on the bench next to me and would help me correct things by playing them so that I could see and hear what was wrong. How is touching the piano when you're a PIANO INSTRUCTOR a faux pas?

Boxingsweets 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 23:38

Dude, go fuck yourself you goddamn brat.

LilaBear 1

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Thursday 12 November 2009 8:58

wtfwts - the kid was TEN YEARS OLD, not some accomplished pianist who knows what they are doing. It's common for a piano teacher to put their hands on the keyboard to demonstrate how to do something.

Jewelofagal 2

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:38

LeeIsAwesome 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:54

I second that.

Shereen15 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:55

Haha i bet her name is Esther. You better watch out...

fegd 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 4:03

I thought the same. That kid is a psycho.

Watchmaker 2

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 18:21

Agreed. My off-the-cuff response? Bitchslap that kid and drop her as a client. I mean, how the hell does a kid end up being that much of an ass? It's especially bad considering those hands that just got slammed are the OP's tools of livelihood.

nonynony 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:42

OhhxGoshhxAri 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:57

I agree. Parents do a shitty job these days. It makes me wonder if they're afraid of the kid, or if they're just too fucking lazy to do anything to teach the kid right from wrong. A ten year old should have enough common sense to know that they shouldn't do things like that. After all, a teacher is there to help you correct your mistakes, not pick on you.

killerrr 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 4:13

I agree with both of you, #5 and #15. I think it's a combination of the laziness of parents, selfishness of the parents ("Oh, I worked all day today, I'm in no mood to yell at my kid for beating the crap out his schoolmates!"), fear of their kids (although with a kid like this, if she does this to a stranger I wonder what she does to her parents), and parents wanting to be a friend first. Teach your kids manners and how behave like normal human beings. You can be friends with your kids, but you can't let that get in the way of raising them properly.

RedGiant 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:42

PiaNOWNED

lenasaur 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 6:57

#6 OMFG WIN

KatieGoesRawrr 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 10:38

Ithinkiloveyou

GR3453m0nk3y 4

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Sunday 15 November 2009 23:09

ithinkyouneedtocrawlinaholeanddiebecauseyoutypelikethis ^ that ^ says ^ "i think you need to crawl in a hole and die because you type like this" (for those of you who either cant read it, or don't want to try to read it)

stuffhappens223 7

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Friday 18 November 2011 3:33

It kills it when u put wat it says

stone_light 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:42

open the piano and stuff her in it

popoman 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 5:07

YEAHAH!!!

Dcvictorious 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:42

Looks like she knows best OP, so next time you know how to correct her mistakes on her own terms :)

Rosalind_fml 0

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 3:36

If I'm the teacher, next time I'd correct her mistake by slamming the cover on her fingers.

failuristic 3

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Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:47

OHdamn 0: Bitch student xD Well, I know two wrongs don't make a right, but in this case you could make an exception~ ;D ...This kind of reminds me of the movie Orphan for some reason... yet.. this has nothing to do with that >_>;