Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped... - FML

By uh-oh - 21/7/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

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My body, my choice

Buzzing the tower

Bad news

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Surprising

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

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By lotrgeek - 13/2/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/7/2012 06:47 - United States - Spring

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

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By Somethingswrongwiththispic - 5/8/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

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By ghostninja4593 - 2/12/2016 03:48 - United States - Council Bluffs

Today, my reflexes kicked in when I saw a hot glue gun falling. FML

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By yay! - 8/11/2010 06:07 - United States

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

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By tal - 22/8/2012 09:57 - France

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

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By fuckmyhair - 16/4/2020 23:00

Stuck

Today, my brother thought it’d be a hilarious prank to put Super Glue in my hair extension glue. I didn’t notice until after the first couple rows. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/5/2010 13:16 - Malaysia

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

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By Ryan - 18/12/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/10/2013 21:16 - United States - West Chicago

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

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By crying over wasted milk - 14/8/2019 17:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, in a fit of jealousy, my 10 year-old unplugged my freezer and lifted the lid before bed. It’s over 80°F in my garage. Now, my entire supply of breast milk is destroyed. Not only do I not have enough stored to feed my own baby, I was also donating to local hospitals. FML

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By moonbears - 22/10/2015 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

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By earplugsplease - 16/5/2013 16:16 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

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By anonymouschicka - 1/8/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/4/2018 01:30

Today, while visiting my son at university, I noticed a funky smell in his room. He admitted to not changing his bedsheets since he moved in 2.5 years ago. I’ve raised an animal. FML

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By nosey - 8/4/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

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By motherlylove - 8/7/2018 15:00

Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years old and has been married to me for a year. FML

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By KatieB - 4/4/2012 21:11 - United Kingdom - Newark

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

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By Username - 15/8/2011 21:38 - United States

Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML

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By 00anon00 - 2/7/2020 02:01

Animalistic

Today, I was fired from my local animal shelter. I was a volunteer and am currently in school for veterinary technology. My education made the paid staff at the shelter feel threatened. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 22:52 - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

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By baby shak - 14/1/2012 07:51 - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

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By impishsamaritan - 7/9/2019 22:00

Toxic Managers

Today, I had to pretend in front of our director that my manager is a nice person. In reality, she's a soul-sucking bully who has made my life so miserable that twice I was on the brink of nervous breakdown. FML

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By vividrabbit - 12/7/2009 13:29 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/4/2018 20:30

Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML

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By Chilly - 3/3/2014 07:13 - United States - Wasilla

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend had broken up with me. She was more upset about it than I was. She actually almost cried. FML

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By BellinaNico - 25/5/2013 04:40 - United States - Mcdonough

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

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By DeActivated - 4/5/2013 00:39 - United States - West Jordan

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/9/2010 14:36 - United States

Today, a girl I work with was talking to me in an Eeyore voice. I'm not sure if it's because she's sad and pathetic, or if she thinks I'm sad and pathetic. FML

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By down1dog - 26/7/2020 20:01

RIP in peace

Today, while out of town, I got a hysterical phone call from my teenage nephew who was pet-sitting at my house. My geriatric dog, who seemed fine when we left, had died during the night. Now my family is mourning the dog and my nephew is traumatized. FML

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By pizzaface - 15/3/2010 11:50 - United States

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

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By dumped - 10/3/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

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By UnknownOperation - 4/9/2012 13:51 - United States - Washington

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

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By scoobses - 2/10/2015 00:45 - United States

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML

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By Shamu - 14/2/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

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By unbirthday - 18/7/2011 18:05 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

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By anonymous - 11/1/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

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By crappy_day - 9/1/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

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By wdunn69733 - 11/10/2012 14:30 - United States - Macon

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

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Top comments

By JayXL14 | 0

#417474 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:41

Cool mom . first!

By wrw28405 | 0

#417486 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:43

I think that's a pretty kick ass mom.

COMMENTS

By JayXL14 | 0

#417474 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:41

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Imawhalerider | 0

#417686 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:32

the best mom ever not an fml

Reply

Lmao_xD | 0

#417692 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:34

Awesomeee!!

Reply

sparxva | 12

#417722 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:43

I'm with #1 - best Mom. You don't know when you've got it good.

Reply

mynameisnotjudie | 0

#417949 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:30

Exactly! At least she didn't say, "Get the hell out of the shower, I don't want you pregnant." Awesome mom. Watching out for you AND letting you have fun. ;- )

Reply

Gavik | 0

#417980 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:47

Fuck Your Life? No, you have a cool mom. Your life rocks.

Reply

ZoomIn12 | 0

#418073 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 4:27

LOL when I first saw this I thought I'd be the first to say you have an awesome mom, look what I see first

Reply

drano | 0

#418099 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 4:40

i agree with everyone that replied to the first comment to get theirs seen

i wish my mom was that cool

Reply

Mr_BOBO | 0

#418105 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 4:43

I WANT YOUR MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

baby_love | 0

#418131 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 4:57

awesome mom! how old r u ... -_-

Reply

Carla174 | 0

#418154 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 5:08

Yeah, you better be happy you're mom is that laid back! My mom would kill us both and then have a heart attack if she caught me.

Reply

IamSpartacus | 0

#418236 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 5:46

#150 - Haha, that doesn't sound right...

Reply

cheer_leader247 | 0

#418315 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 6:20

most definitely cool mom. i frickn hope i can be as cool as her once i have children. kudos to the mom.

Reply

regalarius | 0

#424182 - Friday 24 July 2009 6:47

#256 - My mom was one...she offered to buy me condoms when I was 15.
OP - you've got it good. Embarrassing? Yes. Good omen? Definitely.

Reply

Avaquin | 0

#424317 - Friday 24 July 2009 8:12

my mom tried to get me to buy condoms when i was 12. 'just in case'.

Reply

The_Flanman | 0

#451175 - Sunday 2 August 2009 22:08

My mom caught me in the shower with a girl once... no kids for me...

Reply

jessieex0x0 | 0

#927188 - Tuesday 9 March 2010 3:03

lmfao sweet ass mom

Reply

supertacowaffle | 41

#2024850 - Sunday 30 January 2011 13:29

BEST MOM EVER!!!

Reply

raven02 | 0

#2290548 - Monday 4 April 2011 4:42

yes best mom and it was the girl's 2..their probably from the country lol

Reply

facilitator | 0

#2480368 - Monday 9 May 2011 4:00

your moms [email protected]

Reply

squanmonster | 8

#2833442 - Wednesday 6 July 2011 23:13

hows that bad at least she didn't flip

By GravyIsYummy | 0

#417475 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:41

So, did you keep it safe?

Reply

darren824 | 0

#417928 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:19

everyone knows when you have sex in the shower there is no need for a condom

Reply

volleyballgirl16 | 0

#417932 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:20

no theres still risks

Reply

geb_925 | 0

#417957 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:39

You're an idiot. Being in the shower doesn't magically make you free from ANY of the risks.

Reply

Budhaking | 0

#417982 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:48

you have the coolest mom EVER

Reply

YNasty | 0

#417992 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:54

dont listen to em. everyone knows the shower protects against aids

Reply

Twisted_Method | 0

#540568 - Saturday 5 September 2009 9:44

Yeah if she's "fixed" like my last girl was...greatest thing ever. You can do anything with no worries.

Reply

Jordna | 0

#964453 - Friday 19 March 2010 22:05

#129 - oh yeah. first thing we learned in sex Ed. shower will save you from everything!

Reply

imfrikknbad | 0

#1030430 - Monday 14 June 2010 23:16

I think 110 was being sarcastic

Reply

Cbabe07 | 0

#2323874 - Sunday 10 April 2011 8:26

110, totally not true- you can still exchange vaginal fluids and semen while in the shower, using condoms and not having sex are the only things that protect you from any risks.

Reply

ndvorsky | 4

#3013569 - Monday 1 August 2011 8:40

you guys brutally raped and murdered the funny in his sarcastic comment

Reply

the17doctor | 12

#4411800 - Wednesday 9 May 2012 12:37

People on this site's comment section have an issue with sarcasm. Ironically them mistaking sarcasm for idiocy is pretty idiotic.

By Tubasaurus | 0

#417483 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:43

I can't think of many things that would be more awkward than this.

Reply

Elizabeth_495_xo | 0

#417679 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:31

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

spinarium | 2

#417966 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:41

awkward, but cool!

Reply

midwestjerk | 0

#418158 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 5:10

Here's one: The mom could have asked to join in.

Reply

failzisawesome | 0

#418691 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 11:50

He could have orgasmed on her face

Reply

Shamzzz | 0

#849715 - Friday 12 February 2010 23:31

HE can't get an orgasm?

Reply

capslockisgood | 19

#5035445 - Friday 12 October 2012 13:07

332 - What?

By wrw28405 | 0

#417486 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:43

I think that's a pretty kick ass mom.

Reply

iKaite | 0

#417525 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:51

Agreed. I would love my mom to do that!

Reply

isantorin | 0

#417652 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:22

I agree. XD

Reply

youjustmademelol | 4

#4632081 - Saturday 30 June 2012 4:37

Ikaite , I mean that is a kick ass mom but I would never want my mom to walk in on me and my boyfriend naked in a shower... Awkward

By thumb_r0ck3r | 0

#417495 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:45

You're mom seems awesome!

Reply

Slayerfan408 | 6

#1876414 - Wednesday 22 December 2010 7:48

I know huh

Reply

MeleMallory | 0

#3347201 - Monday 26 September 2011 3:09

You are mom seems awesome? What?

Reply

Killersrage | 5

#5124328 - Wednesday 7 November 2012 15:57

*your

By katelynmarie | 0

#417497 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:45

WATER BALLOON! :)

Reply

Fogie | 0

#417589 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:04

LOL wow. i would do that

Reply

oogyboogy | 6

#417712 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:40

Today, me and my boyfreind were in the shower and I showed him a condom, I was about to put it on he grabbed out of my hands and said " cool water baloons" he's filled it up and threw it at me. fml

Reply

my_fml_account | 2

#417849 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 2:42

:'D

Reply

im_in_love | 0

#417877 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 2:57

hahahhajdhjafhjsdhhahfjkdhsahahhahha did that not make it on the website?!

By aiaiai_fml | 0

#417498 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:46

aww, thats one awesome mom
what a cute moment

Reply

ichwillkeinengel | 0

#417667 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:26

Awesome mom, yes. Cute... XD

By aback | 4

#417511 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:48

At least she didn't come through the shower curtain like Norman Bates' mom.

By stfunubcake | 0

#417514 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:49

not an fml. smart mom

By Bo_day_shus | 0

#417518 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:50

your mom's my hero