By stewiesclone - 11/02/2010 09:09 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 916
You deserved it 3 039

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Top comments

ilikeyouuu 0

I would have said, in an uber gay voice, "wanna do me next?!". lmao

Averizzle 0

Join him.


Averizzle 0

Join him.

azurablade 0

I like pie.

USAFchef 2

u should have farted really loud...hahaha

drunastunamazing 0

baha! if I were you I would have been like having fun in there buddy!? that's pretty funny!

ask if he needs a hand... or just fart loud as u can cough twice flush the toilet get up wash ur hands... crucial... then say don't force it and walk out... he will be in awkward moment

yah he should have that would be reeaaalllyyy funny!!! how can you hear when someone is jacking off??

hit his stall and yell police

I would've faced off that guy to a Jack off

MXavierT 0

46 WIN

throw a to roll over your stall into his. or better yet, say in a ladylike voice "son?". ooooooooooorrrrr, pretend you're on the phone and say "yeah. hold on I cant hear you. some shitheads jacking off."

Right when he finishes off... flush the toilet

either #46 or hit the side of the stall and ask if he's got any extra paper

WhatANoob 0

it's more his FML you shouldve said in a gay voice "Heeeeeeyyy"

jazziloveberryy 3

lol #93

@maa_rico is that wat u and ur dad do?

MattJalac 0


you should have started singing the cleanup song when he was done

Wdf? Why would u sit through that?? U obviously liked it...

BigLostBear 0

#46 wins, that surely wouldve caused him to rethink what he was doing, and the surprised look on his face when he's zipped up his pants and opens the door to see it's not an actual policeman Priceless!

HotpinkKitties 0

lmao @ 80

lickmyjock 0

sweet how loud was his orgasm?

Agreed with 5.. you fail.

kevick93 0

not even close

afarr 0

in the land of failures... he is the king, at least hes not 356th?

lol that's wrong

ouch, poor you!

sharpl916 0

that's why I never use public bathroom. Ewww

spiderman0606 0

To avoid creepos jacking off? That is the exact reasoning in mind when you decided not to use public washrooms?

@ #85. my exact reason for using public bathrooms is for the glory hole babÿ

xlostwithoutu 0

Haha WIN

thats kinda gay... lol oh well... i wouldnt mind finding a glory hole :D

Or you could have just finished pooping and left, you wouldn't have been the one stuck in an awkward situation, he would.

drunastunamazing 0

so true! never thought of that but he could have left but instead he stayed and listened so maybe he liked it! kidding! still u didn't have to stay.

He was having a "Fap-fap attack".

paid2think 0

side by side!

Should've coughed.

he prolly heard u pull a silent fart and thought it was sexy to jerk off too

yea he probably heard a silent fart... fucking idiot

peter55 0


that's why I don't poop in public restrooms, f that