Kids: Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming... - FML

By QuicksilverMaximoff - United Kingdom

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46793

You deserved it

3099

Tweet

Share

Taking stock

Dangling modifier

Sorry…

By Anonymous - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6694

You deserved it

2002

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Burden

Today, after a fight with my parents, I told them I was running away. They said, "Good. Now we have less to pay in child support." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1116

You deserved it

759

Tweet

Share

By soon to be unemployed - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

I agree, your life sucks

50593

You deserved it

3932

Tweet

Share

By furred - Philippines

Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22799

You deserved it

14177

Tweet

Share

By mus

Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

606

You deserved it

3451

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/12/2020 14:02

Awkward

Today, I was ghosted by my next door neighbor, who I've been seeing/hooking up with for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

768

You deserved it

262

Tweet

Share

By Hypocrite

Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2306

You deserved it

7391

Tweet

Share

By Bengemon825 - United States - Manchester

Today, I was trying to sleep in the car, and when I went to rest my face on my fist, our car hit a bump and I ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24610

You deserved it

4158

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27411

You deserved it

1677

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39511

You deserved it

9285

Tweet

Share

By Ren - United States

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31380

You deserved it

2132

Tweet

Share

By frenchpie - Korea Republic of

Today, the guy I liked came over for dinner with some friends. One of them asked him if we were dating, he became so distraught he started to choke on the food I had made, in his haste to tell them that in no uncertain terms, were we together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48392

You deserved it

4143

Tweet

Share

By Diana - United States

We hear ya

Today, I found out that falling asleep with a bobby pin in your hair means waking up with one jammed in your ear drum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1490

You deserved it

362

Tweet

Share

By mortenp - United States

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14115

You deserved it

44789

Tweet

Share

By not the mama - 24/10/2020 02:01 - United States - Hesperia

Classic Dave

Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1512

You deserved it

68

Tweet

Share

By redcherries90 - United States

Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31608

You deserved it

3983

Tweet

Share

By Goldo - United States

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46044

You deserved it

4275

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5888

You deserved it

72905

Tweet

Share

By Julez - United States

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29193

You deserved it

13612

Tweet

Share

By dotcomboy - United States

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12921

You deserved it

78684

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Burlington

Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24955

You deserved it

2405

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19125

You deserved it

34499

Tweet

Share

By brokeasajoke - United States - El Reno

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42705

You deserved it

10727

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47927

You deserved it

7234

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Mission

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45321

You deserved it

4936

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/4/2021 19:59

Wokescolds arise!

Today, my ex-boyfriend who is now transitioning to female, called me transphobic for dumping them, and now most of my 'friends' hate me and I've garnered an awful reputation because of it. I guess they 'forgot' I broke up with them because they cheated on me, and also forgot the fact that I myself am trans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

952

You deserved it

152

Tweet

Share

By Keesha - 18/3/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Kinky

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1007

You deserved it

61

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Newport

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23730

You deserved it

2149

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34019

You deserved it

2254

Tweet

Share

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43385

You deserved it

13044

Tweet

Share

By seriously_CAT

Today, I had to try to convince my roommate that, yes, you do need to use dish soap when you hand wash dishes because of bacteria in old food. She still won't believe me, insisting that, "there's no such thing as bacteria in food". FML

I agree, your life sucks

25501

You deserved it

1593

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12058

You deserved it

45048

Tweet

Share

By Mr.no contacts - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45491

You deserved it

5716

Tweet

Share

By Foreveralone - United States

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26919

You deserved it

2974

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48748

You deserved it

3614

Tweet

Share

By itswhateverr - United States

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

63660

You deserved it

4428

Tweet

Share

By roobb - Canada

Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56503

You deserved it

3108

Tweet

Share

By Joe - United States

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31969

You deserved it

45512

Tweet

Share

By JacksWag4 - United States - Romulus

Thanks, I hate it!

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52398

You deserved it

21517

Tweet

Share

By Grandson - United States - Ontario

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50273

You deserved it

4581

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By ash14 | 0

#2026252 - Sunday 30 January 2011 18:59

wow she needs to be more worried about how bitchy she's being, instead of how "slutty" you are.

By Doortje | 29

#2026261 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:01

Wow, what a rude bitch. But why didn't you interrupt her OP?

COMMENTS

By ash14 | 0

#2026252 - Sunday 30 January 2011 18:59

wow she needs to be more worried about how bitchy she's being, instead of how "slutty" you are.

Reply

I_iz_B_a_troll | 23

#2026440 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:32

damn

Reply

iSitt | 0

#2026863 - Sunday 30 January 2011 22:52

tell her she forgot her lithium

Reply

iloveloosy12 | 0

#2027067 - Monday 31 January 2011 0:43

what an insane freak witch lady!

Reply

rebel408 | 0

#2027534 - Monday 31 January 2011 3:40

depends if she actually is a slut

Reply

Pg11 | 0

#2031681 - Tuesday 1 February 2011 3:05

did anyone else read that as "she got so worked up she started sweating"

Reply

Seabeast1000 | 4

#2116059 - Wednesday 23 February 2011 21:08

I would have started screaming back at her!

Reply

brenkite | 5

#3105692 - Sunday 14 August 2011 7:55

my sister used an analogy similar to this post to describe the woman who took Dumbledore's place after he disappeared with fox

Reply

mexicanguy39 | 7

#3677562 - Saturday 3 December 2011 18:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By Doortje | 29

#2026261 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:01

Wow, what a rude bitch. But why didn't you interrupt her OP?

By Bakachu | 7

#2026263 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:01

Ahaa, that lady is a bad influence.

By ElectricGhost_fml | 5

#2026268 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:02

Wow you should have told her to mind her own business

Reply

alison179sd | 0

#2026454 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:40

totally.... she's like saying the OPis a slut but she is the one swearing at a toddler and a person she doesn't know.

By spikey818 | 9

#2026279 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:03

people shouldn't assume things

Reply

mycookiezz | 0

#2027270 - Monday 31 January 2011 1:48

When you assume it makes an ass out of you and me.

Reply

Snowstar | 0

#2027387 - Monday 31 January 2011 2:40

assume-u-me=a*s

Reply

QWERTYCommander | 5

#2027691 - Monday 31 January 2011 4:42

a multiplied by s?

Reply

babyyappld | 7

#2028964 - Monday 31 January 2011 13:21

unfortunately people do. this happened to me when I was taking care of my 3 year old cousin. but no one swore they just gave death stares

Reply

VaultDweller106 | 7

#4911521 - Sunday 9 September 2012 8:57

People stupidly give me stares when I'm with my 7 year old niece. I'm only 20 for craps sake.

By carameldrizzle | 0

#2026284 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:03

what an incosiderate bitch, swearing in front of a toddler

Reply

wellinever | 5

#2026293 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:05

Yes we can, but it does require weaponry.

Reply

5t3ff1k4h | 44

#2026309 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:07

That doesn't make her a slut. It makes her a bitch.

By awks | 0

#2026286 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:03

ｹﾞﾎｯｹﾞﾎｯ(>o

By Badjuju7711 | 0

#2026289 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:03

Unfortunately we still can't cure ignorance. . .

Reply

020266t | 5

#2026460 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:43

You can't fix the world, nor can you fix one

Reply

020266t | 5

#2026464 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:43

You can't fix the world, nor can you fix one

Reply

bored11 | 0

#2049900 - Sunday 6 February 2011 0:17

you can't fix stupid either which that one seemed to be for swearing in front of toddler.

By Akalia_fml | 7

#2026291 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:05

Wow, that was rude of her. She should't have had jumped to conclusions and she should have just minded her own business. I hope you're going to tell your friend's parents what happened so they don't blame you for the toddler swearing.

By YouHaveFailed | 0

#2026296 - Sunday 30 January 2011 19:05

Wow. that bitch shouldnt assume.. Assume makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"

Reply

saleha97 | 4

#2026747 - Sunday 30 January 2011 21:49

lmfao

Reply

NINJAPROTOTYPE10 | 0

#2027840 - Monday 31 January 2011 5:54

We know... Someone said that earlier... So dont copy