Transportation: Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked...

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12 hour trans-Atlantic flight overseas. I asked the flight attendant where this rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour 1 of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 630

You deserved it 2 290

Transportation

The smell detective is on the case

Broken heart

It never rains…

By Toilettrash - 06/07/2012 10:51 - United States

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 880

You deserved it 2 868

Wrong way down a one way strrreeeeet

By WrongTrainGuy - 27/05/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I took the wrong train and didn’t realise it until it arrived in Aberdeen. Eight hours from where I was meant to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 843

By XxFA1LxX - 22/07/2012 13:57 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 314

You deserved it 2 497

By NotTakenYet - 05/10/2018 22:05

Today, my mom said she ran into some old coworkers and they asked about me. She was surprised they remembered me, as we only met once. The reason they remembered me is because I fell down the stairs at their house when I was 11. That was 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 248

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 768

You deserved it 45 638

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 353

You deserved it 5 328

By thisucks - 28/01/2010 13:59 - Canada

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 071

You deserved it 10 888

By baybuh - 30/12/2009 17:26 - United States

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 882

You deserved it 26 364

By Anonymous - 04/02/2016 22:19

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 213

You deserved it 2 553

By LemmyIsWet - 17/12/2012 07:33 - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 749

You deserved it 27 386

Hey

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and talk to my coworker because people have been saying I’m too shy. I say, "Hey" to a girl and she made fun of my voice. She’s the one who told me to talk more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 66

By jack - 28/05/2019 12:00

Today, I asked my new girlfriend if she was feeling alright, since she is on her period for the first time since we started dating. I got an empty cereal bowl thrown at my head. Question asked and answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 355

Super-spreading

By Anonymous - 18/07/2021 17:59

Today, I found out I have bed bugs, thanks to my dad having them and not telling me, so my girlfriend got pissed at me, thinking I purposely give them to her, and is sending me a bill to have her house treated for them. Thanks dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 02:00

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 807

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 00:03 - United States

Today, my younger sister said that she was going to pray for her brother's HIV. I have Primary Immune Disease (PID) not HIV. School will be very interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 892

You deserved it 2 009

By look before you speak - 09/02/2014 07:12 - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 573

You deserved it 13 771

Get help soon

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 06:01

Today, I realized I rarely go outside anymore due to hyperacusis, social anxiety, depression, and sensory issues. I'm also afraid to tell my family and friends about my problems, because they don't understand how bad it really is. Looks like I'm doomed to be depressed and alone my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 180

Panic! At the Door Handle

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 05:00

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 273

By the bad artist - 10/09/2012 00:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 316

You deserved it 2 599

Sashay away!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2017 20:00

Today, someone called out "Ma'am!" while approaching me from behind, but then said "Oops, sir!" when I turned around. I was wearing a corset and miniskirt with leggings. They were correct the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 701

You deserved it 369

By Anonymous - 20/10/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 820

You deserved it 9 465

By Rae - 30/07/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 363

You deserved it 4 465

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 726

You deserved it 88 892

By poomaster - 22/11/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 743

You deserved it 5 143

By teeth - 10/08/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 365

You deserved it 2 819

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 456

You deserved it 5 824

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 870

You deserved it 3 921

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 18:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 19/10/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 051

You deserved it 5 137

By Unwanted - 10/06/2010 12:54 - Australia

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 937

You deserved it 3 941

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 862

You deserved it 40 308

By NVflood17 - 17/01/2017 08:00

Today, there's lethal flooding in the Reno area, with all roads to my work closed and flooded. My boss still expects me to drive through it, in the dark, to work at 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 038

You deserved it 443

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 566

You deserved it 4 409

Leech

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 06:01

Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 91

By Raiders4ever - 21/10/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 304

You deserved it 24 947

By pink_cupcakes - 15/08/2009 10:22 - Australia

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 800

You deserved it 4 766

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 042

You deserved it 58 794

Felt so bad

By "princessmia" - 13/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Sequim

Today, my little brother played my phone, and then accidentally sent a nude photo of mine to our step-dad, and now I have to spend all day with him and my mom on a road trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 2 316

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 20/05/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 439

You deserved it 4 594

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