By tikizombie - 30/08/2010 20:10 - Canada

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 211
You deserved it 8 403

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do

wafflemaster 1

i blame u for the lipstick part

Comments

That_Guy_Jake_JR 0
PimpdaddyCJT 13

aww poor you op but it's pretty funny :) xx

bravesfan112233 0

it couldve been worse. you couldve died, someone you know couldve died, you couldve been homeless, you couldve been born with no legs...etc

Prodigy7 4

Not really 19. You're the one who fails smart ass.

PimpdaddyCJT 13

wow sorry made a mistake I'm only human :P

the_flirtt 0

I sware I think I have seen this in a movie before ?

ThebriMcCoy 0

. sthu ' that was a dumb comment . why get on FML if you're gonna say stuff like that .

FFML_314 11

Who are you talking to, #50?

did u happen to cross a black cat lately?

KiddNYC1O 20

rip yourself a new butthole, you're fckd

Graawr 7

how could you do that to the poor little lipstick T-T

have ypu heard of this new crazy invention called vhakume яетаяd

Wow, OP. Watch where you're walking.

@58 A Vacuum would not get lipstick out of a carpet. Also who are you to call anyone a retard if your going to type like that?

breelovesu1 0

you are cute!(: sry just had to say

brandon425 1

19 fails harder than both. 13 had gotten number one and didn't realize until after he posted his comment so he came back to say it

be less clumsy sir, life is generally cheaper that way :)

49, was that movie the Three Stooges? OP, so much for that Alberta advantage.

iron_chefITALY 0

64 your not! sorry just had to say

FFML_314 11
Schizomaniac 24

68, you're a ******* douche.

iron_chefITALY 0

thank you. and she said 'your cute! sorry just had to say!'

FFML_314 11

No she said, "you are cute." I'm still waiting for you to complete your sentence.

Schizomaniac 24

You're very welcome. Why did you feel the need to insult that girl like that?

iron_chefITALY 0

sorry I don't care much for the english language thanks tho. and why do u care I didn't say u weren't cute.

KarinaLizeth18 5
iron_chefITALY 0
FFML_314 11

OK, you're not getting this. Your is possessive, meaning something you own. You're is a contraction of you are. Please, learn the difference before you try and insult someone. Your initial comment did not make sense.

iron_chefITALY 0

that's cool I really don't care thanks

FFML_314 11

If you don't care, why are you thanking me?

iron_chefITALY 0

oh sorry queen B I meant I don't care about u teaching me shit I'll never use

FFML_314 11
ChesterJester11 0

YDI for owning a phone with a cord

iron_chefITALY 0

more like queen G. queen grammar

FFML_314 11
iron_chefITALY 0

I changed it once don't get ur granny panies in a knot.

Schizomaniac 24

I love how everyone uses that, constantly. Originality people, orginality.

iron_chefITALY 0

I have a job and it's a picture. and coming from someone without a picture ur opinion doesn't matter

FFML_314 11

Your job is a picture? Does that pay well?

Schizomaniac 24
iron_chefITALY 0

lol I meant it's a picture I can't magicly alter the picture from last week. my job isn't a picture haha

KarinaLizeth18 5

oh hey I remember you 89 haha you're funny

FFML_314 11

You can just go ahead and give yourself a nice smack right on the forehead. I'm just going to guess that picture isn't even you. :( Edit: You remember me? I don't try to be funny, it just happens.

iron_chefITALY 0

I know it's impossible to believe god gave all the good qualites to one man, but here I stand/sit ;)

Schizomaniac 24

Apparently idiocy is a favorable characteristic now.

KarinaLizeth18 5
FFML_314 11

I am so proud! You almost (key word being almost) made a grammatically correct sentence. You are one step closer. Who are you asking, 103?

iron_chefITALY 0

I can't be hot and smart. inteligence comes with a price

rfngxhhshi 0

douchey-ness is not something most would coin as a good quality iron

KarinaLizeth18 5

101 haha >.< my gay-o-meter went off the charts but then again I'm almost never right u.u .... I'm not a homophobe or anything like that, lol it was just a question. :)

hey 107 you can "magicly" alter pictures nowadays is called photoshop...

iron_chefITALY 0

I'm not a douche I just don't cry every time I look in the mirrior

Schizomaniac 24

Hm, my gaydar didn't go off when I saw his picture, and I'm usually pretty good at gay-detection. My mom is a lesbian and a lot of my friends are gay. :P Man, the retards are going to have a ball with that one.

FFML_314 11

You should work on your intelligence, 101. Especially if you believe people can only possess 2 qualities. You're lacking in both. ôô

iron_chefITALY 0
Schizomaniac 24

113 *Extends hand to make ammends*

FFML_314 11

I thought we went over this already Skitz. ☺

Schizomaniac 24

I still felt the tension in the air. :P

KarinaLizeth18 5

really 112?? :/ mm well I was just sayin cause he has two hooped earrings and seems pretty queer... :D I have many gay friends and well I'm in an all female soccer team :| somehow it became an almost all lesbian(I as the exception) team. So like I said I wasn't trying to be rude or anything I was simply trying to satisfy my curiosity. Oh and btw thank you for your immaturity with the whole "the retards are gonna have a ball with this one" I didn't know someones simple curiosity was a means for humor. O.o

FFML_314 11

Karina, you completely misunderstood his comment.

iron_chefITALY 0

I didn't know u were talkin 2 me haha but no I'm not gay =]

KarinaLizeth18 5

I think I did... I admit I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed u.u so please enlighten me on what I misunderstood. :)

KarinaLizeth18 5
FFML_314 11
Schizomaniac 24

124, I meant that stupid people were going to start making fun of me because I have a gay mom and gay friends. I wasn't talking about you. :P

KarinaLizeth18 5

oh O.o well then I apologize for misunderstanding your comment :) and those who do have a ball with the fact that your mom is a lesbian and that you have many gay friends are indeed, retards xD

Thebloodygore 0

This thread gave me a headache.

Thebloodygore 0

Eli, your mum is reserved by me.

Schizomaniac 24

130, no biggie :P 132, I'm not calling you mom!

Thebloodygore 0

Eli, you're right! You're calling me mum! :)

Schizomaniac 24

Adan, unfortunately you cannot slap someone over the Internet :(. And no, I would have prefered that it was with someone who was not an idiot :/. Our mock-fight has yet to occur.

Schizomaniac 24

138, I would DIE before I called you 'mum!' (That was good, though) However, if we did reach some sort of agreement, I would take Seth under my wing and teach him my ways >:)

Schizomaniac 24

Adan, wanna see a different picture of him? *Devious face*

Schizomaniac 24

Hey, did you guys know that weed cures HIV?

Thebloodygore 0

Stupid comment bug! I said Adan, thank you. Eli, I dare you to put the picture up.

Thebloodygore 0

Adan, that's the picture he wanted to show you.

Schizomaniac 24

She dares me to put it up and then does it herself Haha, it was from another FML conversation. FFML is the only one who would have gotten it, but she left :/.

Schizomaniac 24

Look, Adan, she thinks she is cool now because she posted it before I did.

Schizomaniac 24
FFML_314 11
FFML_314 11

I have no clue what Skitz is talking about.

Schizomaniac 24

Adan, I want him too. We can fly to Cambridge and kidnap him. Baron Rouge is only an hour from New Orleans >:) But I no longer have a car :(

Thebloodygore 0

What's with everyone attempting to steal my son? If anyone knows his full name, then maybe you'll have a chance of stealing him. Also, he only speaks Spanish, so good luck. Ohh, nothing Aria. Just a picture of my son flipping everyone off. Yes, Adan, that is correct.

starsbAby 2
Schizomaniac 24

I know enough of his 10000 names for him to come to me, and I also speak very broken Spanish. Consider your child mine.

Thebloodygore 0

Name all his names. He does not like Mexican Spanish or crooked Spanish. Consider him, not yours.

Schizomaniac 24

No!It makes more sense for me to go there. Is there even an airport in BR?I don't know anything outside the university :/. I can take my roomate's bike.

Schizomaniac 24

Love I said ENOUGH of his names, and I don't think he's going to say "No me gusta tu español, ¡vente!" Besides, throwing him in a burlap sack requires little communication. Hey, hey, Adan. It was a very strategic move on the state's part. They didn't want people crashing planes into important builidings :P. Even though I think Albany is the capitol of New York :/.

Schizomaniac 24

Hahaha, yeah. I didn't really help myself by pointing that out.

How in god's name did the convorsation shift from an FML about smeared lipstick and a phone cord being ripped out of a wall, to kidnapping a Spanish boy?

KarinaLizeth18 5

176 what exactly do you mean by Mexican Spanish??? >:| I'm Mexican, salvadorian and Guatemalan, and I find that my Spanish is just like everyone elses O.o well for the most part

Schizomaniac 24

185, if you see any of us in a conversation, it probably isn't about the FML. The other girl (probably 186), nah, Spanish differs in different countries, much like any other language. Go to Spain, Chile, or pretty much anywhere else and you'll find that there are both subtle and drastic differences.

FFML_314 11

TheOptimist, that seriously made me laugh out loud. I spit my water out onto my phone. Thank you. LOL! Edit: 186, there are different types of the Spanish language. For example: People from Mexico don't speak the same kind of Spanish as the people from Spain.

Thebloodygore 0

185, thank you! The conversation should have NOT switched to kidnapping my son. 186, it's way different. I didn't mean it in an offensive way. It's like British English and American English. They're founded on the same principles and for the most part, most of the words are the same, but there are different spellings of some words/different meanings/ and of course the different accents.

Schizomaniac 24

She is right; However, Mexican spanish is clearly better than Spanish from Spain, much like American English is far better than British English. :)

Thebloodygore 0

Eli, that's your opinion. I personally think it doesn't matter. It's still the same language, just because they have minor tweaks doesn't make it completely different. It's still English whether it be American or British. It's still Spanish. :]

Schizomaniac 24

Bleh, shut up. You know I wasn't serious.

and you're on the internet who cares I mean yeah he's a douchebag but who gives two flying ***** if he doesn't make a contraction

FFML_314 11

What is the point of saying, "who cares?" It's quite obvious who does, isn't it?

KarinaLizeth18 5

well thank you all for the clearity :D and yes ofcourse I knew that it differs slightly but it caught me off guard when she said "Mexican Spanish" haha I didn't know we had our own category xD woohoo

LeighMoreno 0
thaprince1226 0

hahahhahah I just realized schitz said his mom was gay ahhahahhahhah.

KarinaLizeth18 5

O.o really?? I hadn't caught that

wow! talk bout bad luck OP :/ you almost made it

Griggy 0
karinabeby 0

I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do

You know, you arent the first one who's told me that. I went to Italy. I now want to move there. :]. It's so beautiful.

I've been told to live in a bubble because of getting sick a lot a while back. Just stay in a bubble because of the allergies, as captain said. It's fun!

all things happen for a reason, except for that one. that was just stupid

KarinaLizeth18 5