Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
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Top comments
By
tencentsakiss
| 19
I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do
By
wafflemaster
| 1
i blame u for the lipstick part
COMMENTS
By
joseph11
| 0
aye
Reply
That_Guy_Jake_JR
| 0
Failblog DOT ORG! ;P
Reply
joseph11
| 0
got 1st sum how
Reply
Bradster_15
| 0
coordination FTW?
Reply
PimpdaddyCJT
| 13
13 fails harder than OP
Reply
kassieparis
| 8
aww poor you op but it's pretty funny :) xx
Reply
bravesfan112233
| 0
it couldve been worse. you couldve died, someone you know couldve died, you couldve been homeless, you couldve been born with no legs...etc
Reply
Prodigy7
| 4
Not really 19. You're the one who fails smart ass.
Reply
PimpdaddyCJT
| 13
wow sorry made a mistake I'm only human :P
Reply
illmatic2
| 16
Are you human? I don't believe it.
Reply
OMGJASMiNE
| 0
lmao!
Reply
Amanda2772
| 0
Blame it on your roommate.
Reply
the_flirtt
| 0
I sware I think I have seen this in a movie before ?
Reply
ThebriMcCoy
| 0
. sthu ' that was a dumb comment . why get on FML if you're gonna say stuff like that .
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
Who are you talking to, #50?
Reply
ugwmii
| 0
did u happen to cross a black cat lately?
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
rip yourself a new butthole, you're fckd
Reply
Graawr
| 7
how could you do that to the poor little lipstick T-T
Reply
Danielshark10
| 3
lol fail
Reply
buzz18
| 7
Shit happens
Reply
sukaaa
| 0
have ypu heard of this new crazy invention called vhakume яетаяd
Reply
meagy
| 6
Wow, OP. Watch where you're walking.
Reply
ChibiChibi_fml
| 27
@58 A Vacuum would not get lipstick out of a carpet. Also who are you to call anyone a retard if your going to type like that?
Reply
MykeLytorus
| 0
25 shut up. who asked you?
Reply
breelovesu1
| 0
you are cute!(: sry just had to say
Reply
brandon425
| 1
19 fails harder than both. 13 had gotten number one and didn't realize until after he posted his comment so he came back to say it
Reply
imonaboat79
| 2
be less clumsy sir, life is generally cheaper that way :)
Reply
bigbadtim
| 7
49, was that movie the Three Stooges?
OP, so much for that Alberta advantage.
OP, so much for that Alberta advantage.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
64 your not! sorry just had to say
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
She's not what, 68?
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
68, you're a fucking douche.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
thank you. and she said 'your cute! sorry just had to say!'
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
No she said, "you are cute."
I'm still waiting for you to complete your sentence.
I'm still waiting for you to complete your sentence.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
You're very welcome.
Why did you feel the need to insult that girl like that?
Why did you feel the need to insult that girl like that?
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
sorry I don't care much for the english language thanks tho. and why do u care I didn't say u weren't cute.
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
haha same here xD
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
lol @ iicaptian
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
OK, you're not getting this.
Your is possessive, meaning something you own.
You're is a contraction of you are.
Please, learn the difference before you try and insult someone.
Your initial comment did not make sense.
Your is possessive, meaning something you own.
You're is a contraction of you are.
Please, learn the difference before you try and insult someone.
Your initial comment did not make sense.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
that's cool I really don't care thanks
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
If you don't care, why are you thanking me?
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
oh sorry queen B I meant I don't care about u teaching me shit I'll never use
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
ôô
Queen B you say?
Queen B you say?
Reply
ChesterJester11
| 0
YDI for owning a phone with a cord
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
more like queen G. queen grammar
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
Will you make up your mind?
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
I changed it once don't get ur granny panies in a knot.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
I love how everyone uses that, constantly.
Originality people, orginality.
Originality people, orginality.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
I have a job and it's a picture. and coming from someone without a picture ur opinion doesn't matter
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
Your job is a picture? Does that pay well?
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Your job is a picture?
:P
:P
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
lol I meant it's a picture I can't magicly alter the picture from last week. my job isn't a picture haha
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
oh hey I remember you 89 haha you're funny
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
You can just go ahead and give yourself a nice smack right on the forehead. I'm just going to guess that picture isn't even you. :(
Edit: You remember me? I don't try to be funny, it just happens.
Edit: You remember me? I don't try to be funny, it just happens.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
I know it's impossible to believe god gave all the good qualites to one man, but here I stand/sit ;)
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Apparently idiocy is a favorable characteristic now.
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
O.o are you gay?
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
I am so proud! You almost (key word being almost) made a grammatically correct sentence. You are one step closer.
Who are you asking, 103?
Who are you asking, 103?
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
I can't be hot and smart. inteligence comes with a price
Reply
rfngxhhshi
| 0
douchey-ness is not something most would coin as a good quality iron
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
101 haha >.< my gay-o-meter went off the charts but then again I'm almost never right u.u .... I'm not a homophobe or anything like that, lol it was just a question. :)
Reply
xfreakx2220
| 0
hey 107 you can "magicly" alter pictures nowadays is called photoshop...
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
I'm not a douche I just don't cry every time I look in the mirrior
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Hm, my gaydar didn't go off when I saw his picture, and I'm usually pretty good at gay-detection. My mom is a lesbian and a lot of my friends are gay. :P
Man, the retards are going to have a ball with that one.
Man, the retards are going to have a ball with that one.
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
You should work on your intelligence, 101. Especially if you believe people can only possess 2 qualities.
You're lacking in both. ôô
You're lacking in both. ôô
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
I'm only lacking smarts ;)
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
113
*Extends hand to make ammends*
*Extends hand to make ammends*
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FFML_314
| 11
I thought we went over this already Skitz.
☺
☺
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
I still felt the tension in the air. :P
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
really 112?? :/ mm well I was just sayin cause he has two hooped earrings and seems pretty queer... :D I have many gay friends and well I'm in an all female soccer team :| somehow it became an almost all lesbian(I as the exception) team. So like I said I wasn't trying to be rude or anything I was simply trying to satisfy my curiosity. Oh and btw thank you for your immaturity with the whole "the retards are gonna have a ball with this one" I didn't know someones simple curiosity was a means for humor. O.o
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
Karina, you completely misunderstood his comment.
Reply
iron_chefITALY
| 0
I didn't know u were talkin 2 me haha but no I'm not gay =]
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
I think I did... I admit I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed u.u so please enlighten me on what I misunderstood. :)
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
oh ok iron thanks :P haha
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FFML_314
| 11
I'll let him handle that.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
124, I meant that stupid people were going to start making fun of me because I have a gay mom and gay friends. I wasn't talking about you. :P
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
oh O.o well then I apologize for misunderstanding your comment :) and those who do have a ball with the fact that your mom is a lesbian and that you have many gay friends are indeed, retards xD
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
This thread gave me a headache.
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
Eli, your mum is reserved by me.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
130, no biggie :P
132, I'm not calling you mom!
132, I'm not calling you mom!
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
Eli, you're right!
You're calling me mum! :)
You're calling me mum! :)
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Adan, unfortunately you cannot slap someone over the Internet :(.
And no, I would have prefered that it was with someone who was not an idiot :/. Our mock-fight has yet to occur.
And no, I would have prefered that it was with someone who was not an idiot :/. Our mock-fight has yet to occur.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
138, I would DIE before I called you 'mum!'
(That was good, though)
However, if we did reach some sort of agreement, I would take Seth under my wing and teach him my ways >:)
(That was good, though)
However, if we did reach some sort of agreement, I would take Seth under my wing and teach him my ways >:)
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Adan, wanna see a different picture of him?
*Devious face*
*Devious face*
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Hey, did you guys know that weed cures HIV?
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
Stupid comment bug!
I said
Adan, thank you.
Eli, I dare you to put the picture up.
I said
Adan, thank you.
Eli, I dare you to put the picture up.
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
Adan, that's the picture he wanted to show you.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
She dares me to put it up and then does it herself
Haha, it was from another FML conversation. FFML is the only one who would have gotten it, but she left :/.
Haha, it was from another FML conversation. FFML is the only one who would have gotten it, but she left :/.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Look, Adan, she thinks she is cool now because she posted it before I did.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
I think that's right :P
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
Whoa what did I miss?
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
I have no clue what Skitz is talking about.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Adan, I want him too. We can fly to Cambridge and kidnap him. Baron Rouge is only an hour from New Orleans >:)
But I no longer have a car :(
But I no longer have a car :(
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
What's with everyone attempting to steal my son?
If anyone knows his full name, then maybe you'll have a chance of stealing him.
Also, he only speaks Spanish, so good luck.
Ohh, nothing Aria. Just a picture of my son flipping everyone off.
Yes, Adan, that is correct.
If anyone knows his full name, then maybe you'll have a chance of stealing him.
Also, he only speaks Spanish, so good luck.
Ohh, nothing Aria. Just a picture of my son flipping everyone off.
Yes, Adan, that is correct.
Reply
starsbAby
| 2
28-you're hot ;)
Reply
starsbAby
| 2
thank you!!! and I agree
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
I know enough of his 10000 names for him to come to me, and I also speak very broken Spanish. Consider your child mine.
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
Name all his names.
He does not like Mexican Spanish or crooked Spanish.
Consider him, not yours.
He does not like Mexican Spanish or crooked Spanish.
Consider him, not yours.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
No!It makes more sense for me to go there. Is there even an airport in BR?I don't know
anything outside the university :/. I can take my roomate's bike.
anything outside the university :/. I can take my roomate's bike.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Love I said ENOUGH of his names, and I don't think he's going to say "No me gusta tu español, ¡vente!" Besides, throwing him in a burlap sack requires little communication.
Hey, hey, Adan. It was a very strategic move on the state's part. They didn't want people crashing planes into important builidings :P.
Even though I think Albany is the capitol of New York :/.
Hey, hey, Adan. It was a very strategic move on the state's part. They didn't want people crashing planes into important builidings :P.
Even though I think Albany is the capitol of New York :/.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Hahaha, yeah. I didn't really help myself by pointing that out.
Reply
TheOptimist
| 0
How in god's name did the convorsation shift from an FML about smeared lipstick and a phone cord being ripped out of a wall, to kidnapping a Spanish boy?
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
176 what exactly do you mean by Mexican Spanish??? >:| I'm Mexican, salvadorian and Guatemalan, and I find that my Spanish is just like everyone elses O.o well for the most part
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
185, if you see any of us in a conversation, it probably isn't about the FML.
The other girl (probably 186), nah, Spanish differs in different countries, much like any other language. Go to Spain, Chile, or pretty much anywhere else and you'll find that there are both subtle and drastic differences.
The other girl (probably 186), nah, Spanish differs in different countries, much like any other language. Go to Spain, Chile, or pretty much anywhere else and you'll find that there are both subtle and drastic differences.
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
TheOptimist, that seriously made me laugh out loud. I spit my water out onto my phone. Thank you. LOL!
Edit: 186, there are different types of the Spanish language. For example: People from Mexico don't speak the same kind of Spanish as the people from Spain.
Edit: 186, there are different types of the Spanish language. For example: People from Mexico don't speak the same kind of Spanish as the people from Spain.
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
185, thank you! The conversation should have NOT switched to kidnapping my son.
186, it's way different. I didn't mean it in an offensive way. It's like British English and
American English. They're founded on the same principles and for the most part, most of the words are the same, but there are different spellings of some words/different meanings/ and of course the different accents.
186, it's way different. I didn't mean it in an offensive way. It's like British English and
American English. They're founded on the same principles and for the most part, most of the words are the same, but there are different spellings of some words/different meanings/ and of course the different accents.
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
She is right; However, Mexican spanish is clearly better than Spanish from Spain, much like American English is far better than British English.
:)
:)
Reply
Thebloodygore
| 0
Eli, that's your opinion.
I personally think it doesn't matter. It's still the same language, just because they have minor tweaks doesn't make it completely different. It's still English whether it be American or British. It's still Spanish. :]
I personally think it doesn't matter. It's still the same language, just because they have minor tweaks doesn't make it completely different. It's still English whether it be American or British. It's still Spanish. :]
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
Bleh, shut up. You know I wasn't serious.
Reply
Bon3less
| 0
and you're on the internet who cares I mean yeah he's a douchebag but who gives two flying fucks if he doesn't make a contraction
Reply
FFML_314
| 11
What is the point of saying, "who cares?"
It's quite obvious who does, isn't it?
It's quite obvious who does, isn't it?
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
well thank you all for the clearity :D and yes ofcourse I knew that it differs slightly but it caught me off guard when she said "Mexican Spanish" haha I didn't know we had our own category xD woohoo
Reply
LeighMoreno
| 0
Lol. #58, really?
Reply
thaprince1226
| 0
hahahhahah I just realized schitz said his mom was gay ahhahahhahhah.
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
O.o really?? I hadn't caught that
Reply
yurlve1992
| 0
wow! talk bout bad luck OP :/ you almost made it
Reply
Griggy
| 0
Beautiful, simply beautiful.
Reply
BauerMegan
| 31
I regret opening this thread.
By
westsidewhite
| 0
fail!
By
drunkenhillbilly
| 0
haha good job op
By
DeepfriedT
| 1
YDI for being a clutz
By
xxkerry
| 0
That sucks
By
karinabeby
| 0
haha, nice job man!
By
tencentsakiss
| 19
I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do
Reply
tencentsakiss
| 19
You know, you arent the first one who's told me that. I went to Italy. I now want to move there. :]. It's so beautiful.
Reply
Geiko_fml
| 0
I've been told to live in a bubble because of getting sick a lot a while back. Just stay in a bubble because of the allergies, as captain said. It's fun!
By
Ruslando
| 0
all things happen for a reason, except for that one. that was just stupid
Reply
KarinaLizeth18
| 5
so was your comment :|
By
Azure_Ebony
| 0
Good job OP!
Reply
GeoX14
| 7
What hell does OP mean?
Reply
xITzAusTin
| 5
#228 Original Poster.
By
pariah13
| 0
it was bound to happen.