By tikizombie - 30/08/2010 20:10 - Canada

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 142
You deserved it 8 356

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I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do

i blame u for the lipstick part


Failblog DOT ORG! ;P

got 1st sum how

coordination FTW?

13 fails harder than OP

aww poor you op but it's pretty funny :) xx

it couldve been worse. you couldve died, someone you know couldve died, you couldve been homeless, you couldve been born with no legs...etc

Not really 19. You're the one who fails smart ass.

wow sorry made a mistake I'm only human :P

Are you human? I don't believe it.

Blame it on your roommate.

I sware I think I have seen this in a movie before ?

. sthu ' that was a dumb comment . why get on FML if you're gonna say stuff like that .

Who are you talking to, #50?

did u happen to cross a black cat lately?

rip yourself a new butthole, you're fckd

how could you do that to the poor little lipstick T-T

Shit happens

have ypu heard of this new crazy invention called vhakume яетаяd

Wow, OP. Watch where you're walking.

@58 A Vacuum would not get lipstick out of a carpet. Also who are you to call anyone a retard if your going to type like that?

25 shut up. who asked you?

you are cute!(: sry just had to say

19 fails harder than both. 13 had gotten number one and didn't realize until after he posted his comment so he came back to say it

be less clumsy sir, life is generally cheaper that way :)

49, was that movie the Three Stooges? OP, so much for that Alberta advantage.

64 your not! sorry just had to say

She's not what, 68?

68, you're a fucking douche.

thank you. and she said 'your cute! sorry just had to say!'

No she said, "you are cute." I'm still waiting for you to complete your sentence.

You're very welcome. Why did you feel the need to insult that girl like that?

sorry I don't care much for the english language thanks tho. and why do u care I didn't say u weren't cute.

haha same here xD

OK, you're not getting this. Your is possessive, meaning something you own. You're is a contraction of you are. Please, learn the difference before you try and insult someone. Your initial comment did not make sense.

that's cool I really don't care thanks

If you don't care, why are you thanking me?

oh sorry queen B I meant I don't care about u teaching me shit I'll never use

ôô Queen B you say?

YDI for owning a phone with a cord

more like queen G. queen grammar

Will you make up your mind?

I changed it once don't get ur granny panies in a knot.

I love how everyone uses that, constantly. Originality people, orginality.

I have a job and it's a picture. and coming from someone without a picture ur opinion doesn't matter

Your job is a picture? Does that pay well?

Your job is a picture? :P

lol I meant it's a picture I can't magicly alter the picture from last week. my job isn't a picture haha

oh hey I remember you 89 haha you're funny

You can just go ahead and give yourself a nice smack right on the forehead. I'm just going to guess that picture isn't even you. :( Edit: You remember me? I don't try to be funny, it just happens.

I know it's impossible to believe god gave all the good qualites to one man, but here I stand/sit ;)

Apparently idiocy is a favorable characteristic now.

I am so proud! You almost (key word being almost) made a grammatically correct sentence. You are one step closer. Who are you asking, 103?

I can't be hot and smart. inteligence comes with a price

douchey-ness is not something most would coin as a good quality iron

101 haha >.< my gay-o-meter went off the charts but then again I'm almost never right u.u .... I'm not a homophobe or anything like that, lol it was just a question. :)

hey 107 you can "magicly" alter pictures nowadays is called photoshop...

I'm not a douche I just don't cry every time I look in the mirrior

Hm, my gaydar didn't go off when I saw his picture, and I'm usually pretty good at gay-detection. My mom is a lesbian and a lot of my friends are gay. :P Man, the retards are going to have a ball with that one.

You should work on your intelligence, 101. Especially if you believe people can only possess 2 qualities. You're lacking in both. ôô

I'm only lacking smarts ;)

113 *Extends hand to make ammends*

I thought we went over this already Skitz. ☺

I still felt the tension in the air. :P

really 112?? :/ mm well I was just sayin cause he has two hooped earrings and seems pretty queer... :D I have many gay friends and well I'm in an all female soccer team :| somehow it became an almost all lesbian(I as the exception) team. So like I said I wasn't trying to be rude or anything I was simply trying to satisfy my curiosity. Oh and btw thank you for your immaturity with the whole "the retards are gonna have a ball with this one" I didn't know someones simple curiosity was a means for humor. O.o

Karina, you completely misunderstood his comment.

I didn't know u were talkin 2 me haha but no I'm not gay =]

I think I did... I admit I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed u.u so please enlighten me on what I misunderstood. :)

oh ok iron thanks :P haha

I'll let him handle that.

124, I meant that stupid people were going to start making fun of me because I have a gay mom and gay friends. I wasn't talking about you. :P

oh O.o well then I apologize for misunderstanding your comment :) and those who do have a ball with the fact that your mom is a lesbian and that you have many gay friends are indeed, retards xD

This thread gave me a headache.

Eli, your mum is reserved by me.

130, no biggie :P 132, I'm not calling you mom!

Eli, you're right! You're calling me mum! :)

Adan, unfortunately you cannot slap someone over the Internet :(. And no, I would have prefered that it was with someone who was not an idiot :/. Our mock-fight has yet to occur.

138, I would DIE before I called you 'mum!' (That was good, though) However, if we did reach some sort of agreement, I would take Seth under my wing and teach him my ways >:)

Adan, wanna see a different picture of him? *Devious face*

Hey, did you guys know that weed cures HIV?

Stupid comment bug! I said Adan, thank you. Eli, I dare you to put the picture up.

Adan, that's the picture he wanted to show you.

She dares me to put it up and then does it herself Haha, it was from another FML conversation. FFML is the only one who would have gotten it, but she left :/.

Look, Adan, she thinks she is cool now because she posted it before I did.

I think that's right :P

Whoa what did I miss?

I have no clue what Skitz is talking about.

Adan, I want him too. We can fly to Cambridge and kidnap him. Baron Rouge is only an hour from New Orleans >:) But I no longer have a car :(

What's with everyone attempting to steal my son? If anyone knows his full name, then maybe you'll have a chance of stealing him. Also, he only speaks Spanish, so good luck. Ohh, nothing Aria. Just a picture of my son flipping everyone off. Yes, Adan, that is correct.

28-you're hot ;)

thank you!!! and I agree

I know enough of his 10000 names for him to come to me, and I also speak very broken Spanish. Consider your child mine.

Name all his names. He does not like Mexican Spanish or crooked Spanish. Consider him, not yours.

No!It makes more sense for me to go there. Is there even an airport in BR?I don't know anything outside the university :/. I can take my roomate's bike.

Love I said ENOUGH of his names, and I don't think he's going to say "No me gusta tu español, ¡vente!" Besides, throwing him in a burlap sack requires little communication. Hey, hey, Adan. It was a very strategic move on the state's part. They didn't want people crashing planes into important builidings :P. Even though I think Albany is the capitol of New York :/.

Hahaha, yeah. I didn't really help myself by pointing that out.

How in god's name did the convorsation shift from an FML about smeared lipstick and a phone cord being ripped out of a wall, to kidnapping a Spanish boy?

176 what exactly do you mean by Mexican Spanish??? >:| I'm Mexican, salvadorian and Guatemalan, and I find that my Spanish is just like everyone elses O.o well for the most part

185, if you see any of us in a conversation, it probably isn't about the FML. The other girl (probably 186), nah, Spanish differs in different countries, much like any other language. Go to Spain, Chile, or pretty much anywhere else and you'll find that there are both subtle and drastic differences.

TheOptimist, that seriously made me laugh out loud. I spit my water out onto my phone. Thank you. LOL! Edit: 186, there are different types of the Spanish language. For example: People from Mexico don't speak the same kind of Spanish as the people from Spain.

185, thank you! The conversation should have NOT switched to kidnapping my son. 186, it's way different. I didn't mean it in an offensive way. It's like British English and American English. They're founded on the same principles and for the most part, most of the words are the same, but there are different spellings of some words/different meanings/ and of course the different accents.

She is right; However, Mexican spanish is clearly better than Spanish from Spain, much like American English is far better than British English. :)

Eli, that's your opinion. I personally think it doesn't matter. It's still the same language, just because they have minor tweaks doesn't make it completely different. It's still English whether it be American or British. It's still Spanish. :]

Bleh, shut up. You know I wasn't serious.

and you're on the internet who cares I mean yeah he's a douchebag but who gives two flying fucks if he doesn't make a contraction

What is the point of saying, "who cares?" It's quite obvious who does, isn't it?

well thank you all for the clearity :D and yes ofcourse I knew that it differs slightly but it caught me off guard when she said "Mexican Spanish" haha I didn't know we had our own category xD woohoo

Lol. #58, really?

hahahhahah I just realized schitz said his mom was gay ahhahahhahhah.

O.o really?? I hadn't caught that

wow! talk bout bad luck OP :/ you almost made it

Beautiful, simply beautiful.

I regret opening this thread.

YDI for being a clutz

haha, nice job man!

I stayed in a hotel last week, and literally everything I touched broke. This sounds like something I would do

You know, you arent the first one who's told me that. I went to Italy. I now want to move there. :]. It's so beautiful.

I've been told to live in a bubble because of getting sick a lot a while back. Just stay in a bubble because of the allergies, as captain said. It's fun!

all things happen for a reason, except for that one. that was just stupid

so was your comment :|

What hell does OP mean?

#228 Original Poster.

it was bound to happen.