Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on...

By SpiderMan - 12/3/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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You deserved it

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Top comments

By btopishere | 1

#27959 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:11

That's how Peter Parker was created.

By Crudez0rz | 0

#27951 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:08

Who the fuck masturbates into a sock?!?!
hahaha

Comments

By horyo | 0

#27950 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:07

...Try using a condom next time. Or be like Doofy and use the vacuum machine.

iarediana | 0

#658652 - Saturday 7 November 2009 5:13

a vacuum machinee?

abcnonamecba | 0

#967447 - Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:09

wow u now hold a record for most insects fucked

AziraLevana | 2

#1012994 - Sunday 30 May 2010 23:10

252: Spiders aren't insects...

NonExistentCok | 0

#1296620 - Tuesday 24 August 2010 21:31

:O u shud use protection nxt Tym
but atleast look on de bright side u got fucked :)

atomicbaboon | 0

#3065532 - Monday 8 August 2011 18:53

Hope you bought it dinner first!

addiizcherry | 0

#3720428 - Monday 12 December 2011 13:20

Would this be qualified as rape?

Sniper_Chick4110 | 20

#5931418 - Thursday 1 May 2014 4:57

#312 Molestation at best. Unless it bit him...? Did it?

By Crudez0rz | 0

#27951 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:08

Who the fuck masturbates into a sock?!?!
hahaha

MegamiKaosu | 28

#3221200 - Friday 2 September 2011 7:09

I know a guy, we call him sock boy xD
we were on his site for his live web feed and we started teasing him and he banned us xD

Mforce | 8

#3694725 - Wednesday 7 December 2011 1:14

Most dudes who masturbate... You know... So they don't turn them selves into Cum Laudes

09Z_fml | 4

#4856760 - Friday 24 August 2012 20:59

um.. no most dudes dont..

laughingtoohard | 14

#6182050 - Saturday 24 January 2015 4:59

Rug burn on you dick bro

bryce0110 | 23

#6254372 - Monday 6 April 2015 23:12

A lot of guys do, but I personally never even thought of doing it.

By Samazoid | 0

#27955 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:10

Well now you can say you've done it.

By btopishere | 1

#27959 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:11

That's how Peter Parker was created.

llstan2006 | 0

#459949 - Wednesday 5 August 2009 21:37

Made me roll on the floor forever! So funny!

OddLittleThing | 0

#971075 - Tuesday 30 March 2010 17:40

Ha!
love.

DrLemon | 0

#971615 - Wednesday 31 March 2010 4:52

ahaha. soo, to beCUM a superhero some guy has to jack off in a sock filled with their desire?

Christine1997 | 0

#3304345 - Saturday 17 September 2011 19:29

Ahhahahahhahahahahhahaha

grapist111 | 4

#4441267 - Wednesday 16 May 2012 7:39

I wouldn't be surprised if one day, tons of little spiders showed up at his door for a "family reunion"

akg98 | 13

#4599124 - Friday 22 June 2012 7:57

Soooo fucking brilliant awesome!! I loled

By Crudez0rz | 0

#27964 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:15

LMFAO @ the Peter Parker comment

By Cryptix | 0

#27965 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:16

@ #4 comment; yeah or possibly become a new hero called the (Sperm)Man.

iluvpink10 | 0

#2264457 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 1:59

LMAO haaha!!!

DigitalFusion | 4

#3043532 - Friday 5 August 2011 9:53

There is no fucking way you were 18 when you posted this. 8 maximum.

BirdieCurls | 25

#5909055 - Wednesday 9 April 2014 6:52

You guys might be 2 years late, but I'm 5 years late!

By nyah_nyah | 0

#27968 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:19

@ #2..... apparently lots of guys masterbate into socks... havnt you seen american pie? lol

By tsezu | 0

#27972 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:23

Did you lose your virginity to a spider?

pianochk999 | 2

#5818723 - Monday 6 January 2014 12:57

No, he probably lost it the sock first.

By Cryptix | 0

#27974 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:24

Oh and I bet you're going to have nightmares about fucking spiders as for now on...

By neonoodle | 0

#27979 - Thursday 12 March 2009 9:28

well, at least your penis didn't explode from a spider bite.