Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining... - FML

By Karen - 31/8/2009 14:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

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Out of it

The end of the road

Slasher

By Anonymous - 26/1/2013 01:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

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By anon - 4/12/2009 10:35 - Australia

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

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By Un1ucky - 8/6/2014 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

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By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/9/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

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By Poorman - 11/12/2011 01:03 - United Kingdom

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

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By Unknown - 18/10/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

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By gottacatchemall - 8/1/2014 05:43 - United States

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

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By Andrea Trevor - 7/8/2018 15:00

Still counts!

Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML

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By ThatOneGuy - 28/4/2019 16:00

Today I went on a date with my long time crush only to find out that we are distant cousins. FML

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By Amy - 19/5/2010 20:19 - France

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/5/2020 20:00

Instadrama

Today, after suspecting that my boyfriend was cheating while I was out of town, I came across an Instagram picture of him with another girl. I found out that he told her he was single. When I confronted him in a comment, the girl’s friend replied, "He clearly likes her more than you." FML

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By Rich - 19/5/2010 20:43 - United States

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

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By Jordan - 8/4/2012 10:37 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

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By anon - 27/7/2011 00:01 - Israel

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

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By GrossedOutKary - 19/5/2010 19:20 - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

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By argh - 13/7/2011 23:49 - United States

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

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By "Sarah Ellsberry" - 13/9/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend and I moved back in after over a month of couch hopping and $2,000 of heat and chemical treatments for a chronic bedbug issue. I just found bedbugs on my legs. We've used all our favors and have nowhere to go. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 08:00

Lemon or haunted?

Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML

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By s - 9/12/2016 02:38

Today, I parked in a "Disabled" space. A woman and her kids comes yelling at me about how I don't look disabled and I was just being selfish. I roll my pants up to reveal two prosthetic legs. She then yells at me that I should have warned her before showing my legs since it could scare her kids. FML

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By life sucks - 20/5/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

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By Fred - 5/8/2011 05:45 - Japan

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

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By lightblue - 10/10/2010 04:33 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

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By mynameis - 13/11/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

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By Anonymous - 23/2/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

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By evelynn - 20/5/2010 06:25 - France

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

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By hatemylife - 19/7/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

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By lotd - 31/7/2012 23:28 - United Kingdom - Henley On Thames

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/6/2013 20:50 - United States

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

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By LovedByFamily - 8/10/2012 15:08 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

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By mother of piggies - 4/4/2018 15:00

Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/10/2010 22:49 - United States

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

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By ImNotFat - 7/8/2013 06:04 - United States - Havertown

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

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By Mirorbo - 11/6/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

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By Thanks Santa - 17/12/2016 05:24

Today, 3 weeks after leaving my job, buying a larger car and moving to Ohio so my boyfriend could be near his family, he secretly drove my car and all my belongings back across several states just to break up with me. This was completely out of the blue while I was home visiting family for Christmas. FML

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By screwyouchris - 16/10/2015 23:08 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/1/2010 03:17 - United States

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

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By walkingdictionary - 18/1/2013 02:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

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By DriveMeNot - 27/10/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

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Top comments

By Chocolate_Cake | 0

#529678 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:08

Awkward.
Very.
Very.
Awkward.
FYL :p

By thefaded | 0

#529695 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:14

FHL for having someone expose her baldy-ness! She must have been 10x more embarrassed than you.

COMMENTS

By Chocolate_Cake | 0

#529678 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:08

Awkward.
Very.
Very.
Awkward.
FYL :p

Reply

LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 | 2

#529924 - Monday 31 August 2009 21:54

YDI for taking bus.

Reply

monicamischief | 0

#529944 - Monday 31 August 2009 22:02

this isn't really an FML though. awkward, yes, but also funny. it's not really like it was a serious incident; the lady can just putt he wig back on and it is unlikely they will every see each other again.

Reply

reverseesrever | 0

#530323 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:07

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and some inconsiderate woman rushed by a friend and I and hit me with her umbrella. It knocked my wig off. FML

Reply

minkledoo22 | 0

#530486 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:22

yeah.... it would be a LOT more akward for her than it was for you.

Reply

hkguy | 0

#531449 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:33

FHL more like - we should look out for another FML shortly saying "Today, I took the bus and it was raining and this guy ripped my wig off my head" ...

Reply

filip_fml | 0

#532403 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 22:45

#44
ok people have got to stop posting "inverse FMLs" it's become so annoying, especially when it's not at all funny like this one

Reply

sheehan35 | 2

#1792436 - Saturday 4 December 2010 15:38

44? u mean 52? lol fail

Reply

Aeiou202 | 0

#2121894 - Friday 25 February 2011 8:21

you mean 51

Reply

mydgmax | 0

#2177212 - Sunday 13 March 2011 20:51

she must have been so pissed!! :p

By yourdumb | 0

#529679 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:08

yeah that sucks.

By GirlFromKuwait | 0

#529685 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:11

aw, crap.

Poor woman! What did she do next? Get mad at you?

By DovdGraaf | 0

#529687 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:12

Sucks but it's funny at the same time. I hope she didn't get mad?

By Disenchanted_fml | 5

#529690 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:13

lmao omg thats hilarious

By thefaded | 0

#529695 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:14

FHL for having someone expose her baldy-ness! She must have been 10x more embarrassed than you.

By BadOwner | 0

#529696 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:15

they should really change the name from fmylife to f my life today because im to insecure to get over my problems. soon, fmylife.com will just be "today i dropped a bag of chips. fml" WE ALL HAVE GOOD FMLs THAT NEVER GET PUBLISHED! FTL

Reply

emmmilyyy | 0

#529837 - Monday 31 August 2009 21:14

um whats up ur ass?

Reply

Chad_Brisson | 2

#529983 - Monday 31 August 2009 22:21

#27

made my whole day

Reply

CupcakePookie | 0

#530390 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:36

hahaha #27

By tWitt3rBuG | 0

#529704 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:16

Lmfa0, FTW!

By BadOwner | 0

#529706 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:17

p.s. it wasnt even funny. just awkward. heres a tip: go to www.mylifeisaverage.com

Reply

filip_fml | 0

#532408 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 22:47

enough with the comments like "go to mylifeisaverage.com" and the like

Reply

katzepferd | 0

#535815 - Thursday 3 September 2009 4:33

actually, www.mylifeisaverage.com is a heck of a lot funnier than this website

By youthink_fml | 0

#529719 - Monday 31 August 2009 20:22

i hate people like you that don't pay attention to what they're doing. i bet you drive like that too.