Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My...

By merkris - 29/06/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 189

You deserved it 12 689

Miscellaneous

So that makes it alright?

Great parenting, mom

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

By Piggirl - 13/07/2018 19:00

Today, one day after our 12-year wedding anniversary, which my husband failed to acknowledge, I found a receipt in his pocket for chlamydia testing. We haven't had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 169

You deserved it 969

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 22:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 235

You deserved it 3 009

By *sigh* - 08/12/2015 22:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my friend about the £260 he owes me. He got offended and said, "Friends don't have to pay back." He called me selfish and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 607

You deserved it 2 181

By Broeman - 13/09/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 933

You deserved it 4 318

By Anonymous - 11/03/2019 22:00

Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 546

You deserved it 229

By adam - 05/12/2015 14:54 - Czech Republic

Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis and bought a mercedes along with a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 184

You deserved it 1 546

On the leash

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 01:59

Today, it hit me hard that the girl I love is not still not interested after a year. She's now ghosting me, and she hangs out with my friends daily. She constantly talks about dating in front of me and only text/calls me when I post shorts/stories hanging out with other girls, just to pull me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 617

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 20:33 - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 609

You deserved it 6 372

By Sneezy123 - 06/10/2009 02:21 - United States

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 214

You deserved it 10 133

By Me - 11/11/2012 00:29 - United States

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 181

You deserved it 1 646

By RequilaRainbow - 26/01/2012 07:34 - Canada

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 4 309

By Anonymous - 19/10/2010 06:37 - Australia

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 491

You deserved it 8 650

By u wot? - 14/02/2015 12:14 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 344

You deserved it 2 313

By couchsurfer - 10/08/2012 00:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 039

You deserved it 29 899

By Anonymous - 19/08/2010 06:32 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 373

You deserved it 13 690

By Leanna - 10/04/2017 12:00

Today, I cleaned my entire house. Ready for a fresh finishing touch in the bedroom, I grabbed the Febreze and lightly sprayed over my clean bedding, carpeting, and clothing. Then a pungent odor hit me. It seems someone forgot to label the bottle when they filled it with vinegar instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 074

You deserved it 666

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 05:06 - United States - El Paso

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 560

You deserved it 5 747

By anonymous - 14/07/2015 17:28 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, a woman left our first date just because I didn't like the same character as her on a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 083

You deserved it 2 620

By Anonymous - 15/10/2012 10:28 - United States - Richmond

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 462

You deserved it 63 123

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 20:38 - United States

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 205

You deserved it 4 650

That's a hard no from me, dawg

By soontobesingle - 19/03/2013 11:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 974

You deserved it 4 980

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 312

Perks

By Username - 01/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 343

You deserved it 31 833

By asdf - 20/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, was my high school's senior awards ceremony. Over 400 people were crammed in the hot auditorium. I won five awards and each time I was called up the laughter grew louder. Apparently even the back row could see my pit stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 547

You deserved it 5 341

Keep it down

By Help - 26/11/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 661

You deserved it 2 494

By Aaron - 01/12/2011 22:00

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 449

You deserved it 2 730

Free healthcare for all

By Vickie - 18/06/2021 16:00

Today, while mopping the kitchen, I ended up slipping and and knocked over the table that had my mom’s iPad on it. The screen shattered; I sprained my wrist. I asked my mom to take me to the ER. She called me "selfish" because her iPad screen repair would "cost more." FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 87

By Lonely626 - 16/06/2016 22:26

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 1 246

By Anais Strongrump III Jr. - 09/05/2014 20:41 - United States - Garland

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 869

You deserved it 5 482

By Winchesterlover - 05/02/2011 18:41 - United States

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 756

You deserved it 8 827

By ProudMamma - 14/09/2016 01:50 - Canada - Oakville

Today, my ex came back into my life, professing his love and begging for another chance. This begging act ended rather suddenly once he remembered I have a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 272

You deserved it 1 138

If it quacks like a duck, it's a quack

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 11:01

Today, we got the news that my dad will be dying of Covid. My mom, former nurse, still insist it's a hoax and that the holistic route will cure him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 78

By The Ugly One - 22/01/2015 02:17 - United States

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 2 571

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 03:27 - United States

Today, I sent a friend request on facebook to the only person I became friends with this semester at college. He denied me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 108

You deserved it 4 342

By Twilightsux - 31/01/2010 03:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 190

You deserved it 6 112

By seriously - 24/05/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 653

You deserved it 4 551

By keisha89 - 22/06/2010 00:27 - United States

Today, I finally met the guy I've been talking to online for a year. I'd dropped 10lbs off my weight. He'd shaved 20 years off his age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 856

You deserved it 38 872

By skyllabeauty1234 - 23/07/2015 03:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 173

You deserved it 2 702

By emmmbo - 19/12/2011 15:40 - Australia

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 730

You deserved it 5 436

By fme - 24/09/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 666

You deserved it 44 184

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