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By Anonymous / Thursday 14 March 2019 00:00 /
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By  Angélique Chantal  |  21

Is there a slight possibility you unwilling in some sort of subtext told him that the past boyfriends screwed you up so bad you already think he will do the same?

It’s a mistake I used to make.

The fact he left is only a validation he’s like the others and with that your anxiety grew, I know how difficult it is but try to look at a new partner like a blank slate and only start a conversation like this when the new partner triggers something. Chances are he doesn’t mean to and at that moment he’ll listen better without feeling he’s compared to exes
Oh and don’t dump all of it at once. Also learned that the hard way.

I know easier said than done but good luck!!

By  melisssa87  |  30

Maybe he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with things like that, not everyone does. He can have problems of his own too and together it just gets too much. You should find someone that’s strong enough for you too

Comments
By  Angélique Chantal  |  21

Is there a slight possibility you unwilling in some sort of subtext told him that the past boyfriends screwed you up so bad you already think he will do the same?

It’s a mistake I used to make.

The fact he left is only a validation he’s like the others and with that your anxiety grew, I know how difficult it is but try to look at a new partner like a blank slate and only start a conversation like this when the new partner triggers something. Chances are he doesn’t mean to and at that moment he’ll listen better without feeling he’s compared to exes
Oh and don’t dump all of it at once. Also learned that the hard way.

I know easier said than done but good luck!!

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  obie1975  |  9

I went into my current relationship with with a wall and attitude to match because both my ex husband's were worthless in every way. It took a strong man to break thru my neurosis and fear. Most men would have run away. Not everyone is ready for baggage.

By  melisssa87  |  30

Maybe he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with things like that, not everyone does. He can have problems of his own too and together it just gets too much. You should find someone that’s strong enough for you too

By  raven_of_azarath  |  28

I’ve had something similar happen. When I was first learning to deal with my anxiety, I had a lot of attacks about being left alone. My bf at the time broke up with me during one. A few months later, he showed his true colors and ended up being a complete jerk that wasn’t worth my time. I know it sucks now, but take this as a sign that he wasn’t right for you. Things will get better.

By  acmariner99  |  21

No disrespect, you probably put him on the defensive. I don’t know how the conversation went, but if that is how he reacted he either 1) has issues of his own or 2) thought you saw him as “just like everyone else” and didn’t trust him.

By  Rae Miller  |  7

Good. You deserve much much more than that fuck boy. I hope you are getting the help you need to cope and find someone who is willing and able to help you live your best life.