Love: Today I took my girlfriend to the cafe where we had our first...

By Lesbian - 04/08/2017 13:00

Today I took my girlfriend to the cafe where we had our first date, with the intention of proposing. Moments before I took the ring out, some sleazy old guy said "how are you two fine babes single on a Saturday?" He refused to leave us alone even when we said we were on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 908

You deserved it 505

Love

You tried

Stop talking!

BFF for life

By ohemmgeee - 31/12/2010 11:11 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 036

You deserved it 5 227

By Anonymous - 21/10/2010 17:33 - United States

Today, I flashed my boobs at my boyfriend's boss. My boyfriend was wearing tan pants and a black sweater. His boss was wearing black pants and a tan sweater. From 100 feet away they looked the same until my boyfriend came behind me wanting to know what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 851

You deserved it 48 251

By brokebackanus - 18/12/2015 14:15 - United States - Detroit

Today, while jailbreaking my dad's phone, I found out the hard way that it's jam-packed full of my mom's nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 493

You deserved it 7 791

By lindaf - 02/06/2018 20:30

Today, I made roast beef with mashed potatoes and green beans for dinner. My 8-year-old daughter was crying and gagging the whole time, and eventually said between sobs, "Can't you just beat me and send me to bed hungry instead?" I have no clue where she got that idea from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 065

You deserved it 421

By nikkiquila_0699 - 05/09/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3 month vacation from France. During my vacation I lost 32lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 308

You deserved it 4 831

By TheRuleEnforcer - 29/03/2013 08:33 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 2 858

By shitberries - 25/12/2015 16:00 - United States - Jefferson City

Today, I tried dying my hair blonde. I put my hair in a bun and waited for it to dye. I guess I did something wrong, because my hair is now 4 different shades of blonde/orange, along with patches of my natural black hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 058

You deserved it 11 905

By M. Night Shytefuck - 20/01/2015 22:52 - United States - Plattsmouth

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 328

You deserved it 2 787

By ktwithaq - 18/10/2010 11:27 - United States

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 736

You deserved it 5 348

By pinocchio - 24/06/2011 23:04 - United States

Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 219

You deserved it 8 168

By YoushouldsaythattoHER - 12/09/2018 22:00

Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty". Not getting such compliments every day, I felt extremely flattered... Until he started to explain in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 760

You deserved it 171

By furball - 15/06/2014 20:01 - Inchture

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 177

You deserved it 9 294

By Anonymous - 08/07/2015 20:50 - United States - Saddle River

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 772

You deserved it 2 058

By mikeissad - 11/08/2012 19:37 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 219

You deserved it 2 459

By SickOfYourShit - 16/12/2015 15:41 - United States - Kennewick

Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 200

You deserved it 2 954

By FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP - 01/11/2013 18:38 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 880

You deserved it 3 191

By imgonnadie - 07/09/2014 15:11 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 489

You deserved it 4 351

By kirstiexoxo - 07/02/2012 08:11 - United States

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 481

You deserved it 4 018

By pencilring - 04/09/2010 14:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 647

You deserved it 14 280

By Erasmus - 27/10/2008 03:27 - France

Today, I went to a friend's wedding. I took stupid photos all day long and when came the moment that the bride entered the church, my battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 789

You deserved it 58 060

By Anonymous - 04/07/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 2 372

By balancestrikesagain - 24/04/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 344

You deserved it 10 712

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 131

You deserved it 18 408

By mstannyngdogevr - 28/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Orlando

Today, my fiancé and I moved into a new home a few houses away from our previous one. We were excited about not hearing our roommate's dog howling non-stop anymore. We can hear him from the new house. Very clearly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 873

You deserved it 1 905

By notfunny - 09/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 753

You deserved it 6 692

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 149

By PicklesMcRaptor - 25/03/2012 11:59 - United States - Miami

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 568

You deserved it 3 512

By xxmollyxx - 16/12/2010 11:54 - Sweden

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 561

You deserved it 3 556

By Anon - 06/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was driving behind a UPS truck. All of a sudden his back door opens up exposing some boxes ready to fall out. Like a good driver I speed up to drive beside him to tell him. He thought I was trying to cut him off so he accelerated. A box flies out and dents my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 879

You deserved it 5 582

By "skinnydick" - 19/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, while riding the bus, I saw my ex-girlfriend get on. Despite several seats being open, she specifically sat next to me. I was at first happy, thinking she might want to make up. Nope, she instead blocked me in with her bag and spent the entire time showing me pictures of her new lover's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 524

You deserved it 1 037

By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 14:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my writing teacher entered in one of my paper grades wrong. After many emails, she said she can't change my grade unless I fax her the original. I need that grade fixed so I can keep my scholarship. I can’t find the paper anywhere. That one paper could cost me $30,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 687

You deserved it 8 641

Self-service

By Steve - 13/06/2012 21:30 - United States - Lake Charles

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 693

You deserved it 17 044

By give me an F - 05/01/2014 16:16 - United Kingdom - Corby

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 643

You deserved it 37 436

By woxliuke - 05/05/2016 18:44 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 087

You deserved it 1 546

By Mightaswelltutordogs - 21/12/2014 01:16 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 480

You deserved it 5 542

By thx. - 04/08/2016 20:35 - United States - Denver

Today, I told the girl working the scanner that half the documents I was indexing from her were upside down. Now ALL of them are upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 250

You deserved it 1 287

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 903

You deserved it 4 163

By Anonymous - 30/09/2014 18:48 - United States - North Andover

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 571

You deserved it 14 283

Don't care

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 01:00

Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age nor birthday. They are twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 1 550

By grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 324

You deserved it 5 396

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Top comments

XCoraline_CrossX 17

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Monday 31 July 2017 20:58

Some people deserve to get punched in the throat. With a chainsaw. That's on fire.

XCoraline_CrossX 17

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Monday 31 July 2017 20:58

Also, congratulations! I hope she said yes!

XCoraline_CrossX 17

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Monday 31 July 2017 20:58

Some people deserve to get punched in the throat. With a chainsaw. That's on fire.

XCoraline_CrossX 17

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Monday 31 July 2017 20:58

Also, congratulations! I hope she said yes!

GhostFox 33

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Tuesday 1 August 2017 7:20

Usually if you speak to the manager of an establishment, they'll ask another customer to leave if they are harassing you or making you feel unsafe. I hope you got a good chance to propose even so!

egnur_mas 19

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Friday 4 August 2017 13:27

It may even make a good story someday, about the 'sleazy guy' who tried to hit on them while OP was planning to propose.

ImZakki 15

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Friday 4 August 2017 14:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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J352SAURUS 30

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Friday 4 August 2017 14:28

No, they went to the café where they had their first date.

Boyufd 24

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Friday 4 August 2017 15:26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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jkjorn 15

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Friday 4 August 2017 15:49

Read the username.

Bubbles77777 11

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Friday 4 August 2017 17:02

That sucks, sorry

jessicasoho 13

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Friday 4 August 2017 17:05

Some people deserve to be punched in the throat. With a chainsa... wait. That's odd. Someone's already said that.

Chazzster 22

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Friday 4 August 2017 17:23

If that ever happens again speak to the manager that you are being harassed. It is the manager's responsibility to see that his guests/customers are comfortable and treated with respect. From the way you describe it, the A-Hole was simply harassing you, probably because he has something against lesbians if he refused to go away after you told him you were on a date. Frankly he should have been shown out if the establishment by the management.

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

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Friday 4 August 2017 20:06

or he's just straight off dumb. Believe it or not, there are ppl out there that legit think homosexuality isn't real. (Thanks greatgrandpa and may you rest in piece)

GhostFox 33

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Sunday 6 August 2017 16:09

An unfortunately large amount of men always think that they're the exception, and that something about them means that women who aren't into men will- for some reason- be attracted to him. There are also people who legitimately and horrifyingly believe that they can "make" homosexual women straight via rape. Chances are, if he didn't fuck off after being told they were on a date, he is at least one of the above.

RichardPencil 30

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Friday 4 August 2017 18:31

Evidently, you are not effective at rejecting him. Time to go to Plan B. Plan B: Tell him you both want him to impregnate you and he can pay for all of the babies you and your girlfriend can pop out. He’ll quietly excuse himself.

Lalala579121 27

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Saturday 5 August 2017 12:34

And then it turns out that he's a closet otaku and yandere is his kink.

QueenBeeGotStung 24

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Friday 4 August 2017 18:49

Hope you gey another chance, or if you did go ahead and propose anyway it went well! Shit like that guy is why I started wearing a wedding ring despite being single..