By I Don't Exorcise - 10/05/2012 03:34 - United States - Shawnee

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 988
You deserved it 3 017

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I assume you made it.

Pretty good way to stay in shape

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I assume you made it.

Nope, Heaven has a wireless connection.

At least it helped keep you running!

This happens to me all the time. People down my street have no respect for others

Try wearing a shirt then

Run, Forrest, run!

42 - pardon my ignorance, but what does a shirt have to do with it? :-/

59- Dogs like the sweet scent of sausages and fear, which is more apparent without a shirt on.

Of course heaven has an Internet connection! It is supposed to be 'more bliss than anything on earth'...

Thank you lord jesus christ that heaven has wireless..

Well on the bright side he burned way more calories that way.

And the reason why hell is hell is because they have one bar connection ?

Worse, dial up.

Just think of him as your personal trainer. But for real call animal control getting bit by a dog sucks

People have got to learn how to finish their stories...

If they can post this on FML, I think it's safe to say that they escaped the dog. Or can enter an FML whilst running from said dog. Or they have FML in the afterlife. Hey, one can hope.

Lol fair enough...

Maybe they were using FML on a mobile device, and are still running from the dog as we speak. At least it'll help OP burn off calories.

Yay, 12 when I read this I imagined OP with terry-toweling head and sweat bands trying to type on the iPhone! Yay!

36, your mother must be proud.

dont you talk bout 36's mother! haha just kidding

Pretty good way to stay in shape

Yeah op should stop running the dog could bite off those pesky extra pounds.

This reminds me of this joke where there's a guy who joins a weightloss program and on the first day, a hot girl wearing only sneakers shows up at his door with a sign that says "if you catch me, you can do what you want with me." He runs for 5miles then has his way with her. This continues everyday with a hotter and faster girl than the day before. Finally, he tells the program director that he's ready for the final challenge. The director says, with a wink, "Are you sure? You might not be able to handle what you get after you're done running." The guy says he's sure, and sure enough the next day, he opens the door to a big hairy naked man with a sign that says "If I catch you, I'm gonna have my way with you."

How many calories did you burn? That's what's important.

And how many calories did the dog get xD

Are you the bacon lady from the super market? If so I know why you're over weight/the dog likes you.

Previous OP: "This is for kicking my defenseless cart down the isle and taking all the low-priced bacon! *makes dog sniff bacon* Fluffy, go get her!"

Run Forrest, Run!!!

LOL thats what I was going to say

Mama always says lifes like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to find Classic!

Yes you do. Chocolate.

But what kind of chocolate? Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate... I'm hungry now.

And that's all I have to say about that

56-*"You never know what'cha gonna get." Nice try though.

Exactly ^ you don't know which FILLING you're gonna get.

How did this go from running from dogs to chocolates????

I hereby move to change the phrase to "life is like sampling the different fillings contained within the chocolates that are found in boxes." All in favor?! ... And the Nays have it! Expressions are less fun when you are over literal.

At least you got a good workout in?

Nothing like a big mouthful of teeth nipping at your heels to keep you on track with your goal.

The good news is that you probably got a new friend and a good exercise !:)

Where did you get the idea that he got a new friend?

You can make friends with your enemies so.. Dunno, I think there is a difference between untamed and rabid, untamed dogs still have a chance :)

I don't know about you, but when I meet a dog that has an unpleasant reputation and it's chasing after me, I don't try to be friends with it.

True eggnog :) But even if they have unpleasant reputation, they can still be good companions :) I may be a little too optimistic though

Yeah, that's a bit too optimistic. A healthy dose of realism would do you some good. :)

I mean, it's not impossible if OP really wanted to put forth an effort to make a connection with the dog, but unless s/he is good friends with the owner already and OP's over at their house often, it's not gonna happen.

There's no such thing as being "too optimistic". Unrealistic, maybe. But who's to say OP won't get to know the neighbors and their dog?

The people you live with did that on purpose

That's a safety issue, OP. If the owners continue to be so negligent (I assume that's why the dog was out), you really should report it or at least talk with your neighbors. There's a REASON the police employ that breed. Some neighborhood children or small pets might not be so lucky as you were. As a former German Shepherd owner, I'm pretty surprised. Those dogs are fucking fast! I could never outrun mine (then again, she was a trained former police dog).

It was just testing her. Next she won't be as lucky.

When a dog is running at me barking, there is no communication. I'll either run for my life, or try to kick the crap out of it.

No-one ever told me not to run from a dog... what?

Well Baustigt, I think OPs problem was that they were already in the process of jogging when they passed their new neighbor. Which would have given the dog immediate reason to give chase. OP was screwed from the start and to stop running at that point might have been a terrible idea depending on how amped up the dog already was.

First: *never* run from an aggressive dog. Running tells it u r easy prey. Instead 1) Tell neighbors what happened; polite first, but if they dont seem to care tell em you WILL get authorities involved; 2) Learn from hardcore "Alpha"-philosophy dog training vids. Cesar Milan rehab'd figter pitbulls.

This type of vid can tell how to properly react to aggressive dogs- show them in their language that you are not prey and they need to not chase you. @ GrammarNazis: I tried to get this right but was being cut off! This serious matter needed more text than I was being permitted.

Also, try to condition yourself with the proper responses to replace your "flight" instinct. (It is possible.) Your neighbors ARE douchebags, at fault, need their balls chopped off- but your life could depend on this at least until they acquiesce or animal control takes the dog. :(