By I Don't Exorcise - United States - Shawnee
Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML
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  ambowew  |  7

If they can post this on FML, I think it's safe to say that they escaped the dog.

Or can enter an FML whilst running from said dog.
Or they have FML in the afterlife.

Hey, one can hope.


This reminds me of this joke where there's a guy who joins a weightloss program and on the first day, a hot girl wearing only sneakers shows up at his door with a sign that says "if you catch me, you can do what you want with me." He runs for 5miles then has his way with her. This continues everyday with a hotter and faster girl than the day before. Finally, he tells the program director that he's ready for the final challenge. The director says, with a wink, "Are you sure? You might not be able to handle what you get after you're done running." The guy says he's sure, and sure enough the next day, he opens the door to a big hairy naked man with a sign that says "If I catch you, I'm gonna have my way with you."

  br0ccoli  |  14

Previous OP: "This is for kicking my defenseless cart down the isle and taking all the low-priced bacon! *makes dog sniff bacon* Fluffy, go get her!"

  jmigs17  |  19

I hereby move to change the phrase to "life is like sampling the different fillings contained within the chocolates that are found in boxes."
All in favor?!
And the Nays have it!
Expressions are less fun when you are over literal.


I mean, it's not impossible if OP really wanted to put forth an effort to make a connection with the dog, but unless s/he is good friends with the owner already and OP's over at their house often, it's not gonna happen.

  lantern  |  6

There's no such thing as being "too optimistic". Unrealistic, maybe. But who's to say OP won't get to know the neighbors and their dog?

By  egc573  |  40

That's a safety issue, OP. If the owners continue to be so negligent (I assume that's why the dog was out), you really should report it or at least talk with your neighbors. There's a REASON the police employ that breed. Some neighborhood children or small pets might not be so lucky as you were.

As a former German Shepherd owner, I'm pretty surprised. Those dogs are fucking fast! I could never outrun mine (then again, she was a trained former police dog).


Well Baustigt, I think OPs problem was that they were already in the process of jogging when they passed their new neighbor. Which would have given the dog immediate reason to give chase. OP was screwed from the start and to stop running at that point might have been a terrible idea depending on how amped up the dog already was.


First: *never* run from an aggressive dog. Running tells it u r easy prey. Instead 1) Tell neighbors what happened; polite first, but if they dont seem to care tell em you WILL get authorities involved; 2) Learn from hardcore "Alpha"-philosophy dog training vids. Cesar Milan rehab'd figter pitbulls.


This type of vid can tell how to properly react to aggressive dogs- show them in their language that you are not prey and they need to not chase you. @ GrammarNazis: I tried to get this right but was being cut off! This serious matter needed more text than I was being permitted.


Also, try to condition yourself with the proper responses to replace your "flight" instinct. (It is possible.) Your neighbors ARE douchebags, at fault, need their balls chopped off- but your life could depend on this at least until they acquiesce or animal control takes the dog. :(