By Anonymous - United States
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
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  Ali_Br_fml  |  33

if he flirted back, he's not worth keeping. smh moms these days!!! Keep it in your pants cougar!!! (I wish my post would just show up already... stupid iPod.)

  schwancy  |  2

Are you suggesting she flirt with her own father? That's twisted.

I don't even want to think what you were suggesting with the, "fuck him on camera" comment.



wait she should keep it imbued pants I thought it was keep your legs crossed?

has everyone been lieing to me about what ladys got?

or they have both?

or I'm stupid?

uh I'm going with G

  Anaxes  |  5

#87 - Imbued pants? What does magical trousers have to do with this FML? Is the mum going to unleash a fireball on the OP if she ruins it for her?

  chrishansen  |  0

"I don't even want to think what you were suggesting with the, 'fuck him on camera' comment."

It is pretty self explanatory. PLease have a seat over there.

By  Jessi2487  |  0

OP your mom is an animal.... thats just cold. she's a cold bitch. like a dog with no home in the winter. smack the s*** outta her.

i would never do that to my mom tho.... jus sayin =)

By  Marvin_Android  |  0

Sounds disgusting, much like anything else sexual that involves your disgusting, ape-like species.

You should just stop caring. Everything you do comes to nothing anyway. Pursuing happiness, however fleeting, will inevitably leave you emptier than before. And of course, the beings whom you think care for you end up hurting you the most. Just like your mother is trying to.

Life. Don't talk to me about life.

  Trollz4daLULZ  |  1

#27, I think you are mistaken. We should give this guy the benefit of the doubt. After all, I'm a real giraffe.

#21: *you're

#26: if you missed irony so much, then you can stoppy cookingy and leavey the kitcheny for a few minutes and go to the irony board and pressy some clothes.


I'm sorry. I don't mean to bring anyone down. I knew you wouldn't like hearing the truth; people seldomly do. The more you know, the more depressed you get. I'm actually surprised so many of you have read what I've said. Maybe there's hope for your species yet. You might want to see Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz soon, though. Not that it will do you any good. He'll probably just read you some of his poetry and kick you off his ship. And you won't want that on your mind while he carries out his orders.

Life. Don't talk to me about life.


58: quite capable. In fact, I think you ought to know that I'm feeling very depressed.

62: Actually, I said "your species", but you just eradicated any hope I had for it, both with your misquote and by saying "your fucking retarded" instead of "you're fucking retarded". You have just demonstrated the utter futility of your local education system. Not that it matters, though. Everything else in the universe is just as pointless.

Life. Don't talk to me about life.

  firecopy  |  6

kappaaa has gone crazy. my advice is that she goes back to real life, figure out HER STUPID MISTAKE, and cry over it while making me a sammich. oh btw, all robots have feelings. ex, Walle, Goddard, and c3po.

  luna4545  |  4

I would bet you $300 that u play dungeons and dragons.. just saying. for real dude get a life and get out of your parents basements. this whole I'm a robot thing will never get u laid..

  RedPillSucks  |  31

Isn't it difficult to continue a joke on people who simply don't get it?
It's like explaining Romeo and Juliet to people who've never had serious love in their lives.

I guess there's always the enjoyment of pointing and laughing.

  nycy  |  0

Stupid is a relative term. It cannot be proven nor disproven. What is stupid to one may not be stupid to another. For example, 17th and 18th Europeans thought the natives of America to be barbarous and "stupid"but the natives saw themselves at the pinnacle of knowledge. Just because one doesn't get a joke is no reason to consider someone dumb. Or stupid as you put it.