By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 674
You deserved it 6 081

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enonymous 8

Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself

If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD


Fsqu4red 5

Build up some stamina

it shouldn't matter how long he lasts. a lot of guys can't last for 10 seconds

thrAsHeRr9081 16

It does matter how long a guy lasts . . .

today I said the same thing as the guy below me did. but I got thumbed down. FML

enonymous 8

34 - it's sexism. Don't worry

thrAsHeRr9081 16

You're not a female, so how would you know if it's "always painful?"

yamatelle 19

Look on the bright side, OP, at least he was able to get it up. There's nothing more disappointing than getting ready to have sex for the first and find out that his dick is limper than a 3 month old banana.... Not that Im speaking from experience or anything...

thrAsHeRr9081 16

I'm not making it a sexist issue, you are.

40- you say she's experience? It states in the FML itself that she lost her virginity......

71, you say 40 says she was experienced. It says in the comment "it sounds like your experienced"......

I bet it was the best 2 seconds of your life! You'll probably be one of those girls cursed with never having an orgasm cuz you insult a fantastic 2 seconds.

92 - it said 2 minutes , not 2 seconds, dumbass

herpitydurteedur 0

Yeah, because every virgin has never masturbated before and there's absolutely no possibility of them having use a vibrator before. Smh.

herpitydurteedur 0

That was directed @49 btw

thrAsHeRr9081 16

That's what I was pointing out. . There are many different factors.

49- its been proven thag stretching before does not as much as people think. Stretching after helps more.

enonymous 8

111- hold on he has to flex his abs more and get the right lighting before he answers

Euhm, 40, I am a girl, I have lost my virginity didn't hurt. Not even a single bit. And I know a shitload of other girls who hadn't had pain during their first time. It's true, many girls have a very painful first time, but there is no reason to generalize. I had to laugh when I read what her boyfriend said. I've said the same thing to my boyfriend, even a couple of times. He trusts you, OP, just give him some time. Oh, and don't forget to tell him that you would prefer the sex to last longer, maybe he forgot to hold it up because it was also his first time. Don't be afraid to communicate. (ps, to everyone that says that a guy is unable to last more than 10 minutes during his first time, to everyone that is thumbed down because they said they could last more than 20 or even 45 minutes: my boyfriend could last for two hours and a half during our first time. Oh, and he didn't have 'minor amounts of alcohol, cockrings, desensitizing condoms or a Pre-Sex wank'. Feel free to thumb this comment down if this fact is too unbearable to look at.)

163, I thumbed you down for giving a boring life story and acting like you are some sort of authority on the subject, not because it upsets me your boyfriend can last a while.

My first time felt amazing and didn't hurt at all because my hymen had already broken the first time I was fingered. Like the OP, I also wish the guy lasted longer than 2 minutes my first time.

enonymous 8

Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself

She could be my wife :D That good? Best 30 seconds of my life! ;)

enonymous 8

31 - That night was magical. Straight out of one of those Cinemax after hours movies.

Is it bad I last for an hour and a half? O.O

No, it's just bad that you can't tell time.

I love how people think im joking -.- ehh what ever I know I can and I know I can give one hell of a good time.

That skinny, long, red hand that moves fast is the hour hand, right?

56: Even if you're telling the truth, which I really doubt you are, you're still a douche for trying to brag about it to us.

Enonymous, we are done! You aren't allowed to fuck the troll, then come crawling back to me, expecting me to touch your penis that you've affectionately named "Mr. Butters"! You bastard, how could you do this to me!?! After all the promiscuous encounters we've shared on the cereal isle at Walmart, or the passionate sessions of love we've made in the back of police vans, because, let's be honest, we were a little too drunk and compared penis sizes with that one 8 year old...

enonymous 8

(Stands outside Keyman's house all night holding up a boombox over his head playing "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel)

SimpleMinds_fml 7

Yah keep laughing, but I legit know some guys that the first time lasted 10 seconds (so he says, probably more like 3). I can't speak from experience... but don't expect guy to last very long, especially if they are young because they might actually last 20-30 seconds.

enonymous 8

133 - I do too when I white knuckle wrestle the baby worm

You sumbitch... I love you, I can't let you go!!!

133- I'm guessing you can't speak from experience because you've only been pounded in the rectum from behind, by a man who prefers to go by 'Sally', and you cried the entire time. A little too accurate? That's probably because I AM THAT SALLY.

enonymous 8

I can't quit you

Your comment just made my dick queef. I need to stop taking my little sister's Ritalin...

Yeah haha 2 minutes is a long time for his first

crazychick1269 7

wow that really sucks op!!

....disagreed? 0_o

do you ever say anything besides " That sucks"? just wondering

crazychick1269 7


Obviously not... She is too dumb

118- A little creativity and ingenuity goes a long way.

Lol at the maturity levels. C'mon. My 8 year old cousin would comment like that. Be a little more mature please? *smh* >.>

If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD

my first time last over 20 minutes

ChelseaAnn2012 0

Hahaha yeah it's new at first but guys never get tired of it :p lol

skata 4

35- that's longer than a lot of porn movies

ryanebk 7

Lol I lasted 45 mins my first time... Tip: to go in hot with a loaded gun!!

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Why is everybody thumbing down 35 and 103? It's not impossible.

slushpup9696 12

It's because nobody cares about how long they lasted in the backseat of a Prius, awkwardly fumbling and smashing against the cup holder.

I'm pretty sure you're actually a virgin -_-

That could mean you have delayed ejaculation from masturbating too much. Good work.

Don't be too harsh on him, next time it'll be better, practise makes perfect, so what are you waiting for? ;)

lindseyluvszac 4

Nothing better than losing your virginity in highschool ;)

Tell me, oh mystical and knowledgable one, how you divined that the OP was still in school?

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lindseyluvszac 4

My phone doesn't display sex, age, or location, so kindly calm down. Oh btw it was sarcasm, y'know like a joke. Just saying..

27- People are stupid and misinterpreted your obviously sarcastic comment.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

27, Cause everyone that has sex in high school is getting STDs by the thousands, dropping out and popping out babies left and right. Sure, that could happen, but it hasn't much to do with "losing their virginity" in HS.

It's in Texas. I'm in Texas. Chances are, she's right about the OP being in highschool.

Just saying , please stop making comments there pretty annoying

Shut up plz

What if you list your virginity in middle school?

Btw your an ugly couple, just sayin

At least your boyfriend didn't throw a towel at you afterward and expect you to clean the bed. you wanna talk about it?

He was just happy, juuust happy.

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Yeah, because slapping him around is definitely going to help him keep control...