FML : Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then...

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By bruised / Saturday 15 August 2015 15:47 / United States - Jacksonville Beach

Work

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Top comments

By WarMachine68 | 24

#6382302 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:13

Took me longer than it should have to realize the "f" word was "fired".

By mattzawesome | 28

#6382298 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:09

This is why I don't want a management position later in life.

Comments

By mattzawesome | 28

#6382298 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:09

This is why I don't want a management position later in life.

Kramer1998 | 20

#6382954 - Monday 17 August 2015 12:07

Yeah you do, more money more better

OopsyDoodle | 6

#6383125 - Monday 17 August 2015 02:47

money or sanity, hmm.. are you even familiar with retail?

By Ninjerman | 7

#6382300 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:10

Always remember the sleeper hold. Cut off circulation to the brain for roughly 20 seconds and you can make *anyone* a good listener?

Enkeria | 30

#6382344 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:52

Isn't that like super illegal and considered attempted murder or battery?

Flyndaran | 10

#6382428 - Sunday 16 August 2015 11:19

Illegal for civilians, but not for cops in the U.S. Though many departments frown on it and don't teach its use.

Lalala579121 | 27

#6382468 - Sunday 16 August 2015 12:38

Good listeners are typically conscious to actually hear what you are saying.

DedeleMan | 21

#6382566 - Sunday 16 August 2015 04:18

dude, in 20 seconds you can cause serious brain damage or even kill someone. it takes seven seconds for someone in a hold to lose consciousness. do you even know what you're talking about?

daemonsparta | 16

#6382781 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:56

you dont hold it for 20 seconds you dingbat

FenHarel | 9

#6383099 - Monday 17 August 2015 02:15

Well, the poster said "in 20 seconds" so what? you stare at him for the remainder hard enough and maybe he'll hold his breath in fear?

dannnngthatsux | 19

#6383765 - Monday 17 August 2015 07:03

#52, try again, brain damage takes 3+ minutes of anoxia, 9x more than a 20 second sleeper hold. I've helps my breath for 3 minutes underwater before, 20 seconds? And in cold water anoxia can take up to 13 minutes for permanent brain damage.

coolbeansbruh | 13

#6412233 - Wednesday 16 September 2015 08:37

"anyone" wtf bro......brutal. op don't take #2's advice

SAGARCo | 19

#6442802 - Saturday 24 October 2015 01:49

Numero 74, the sleeper hold not only cuts off air, but also the blood rushing to your brain.

By ecamp12 | 15

#6382301 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:10

Well good thing you fired him... Even though it took much of a struggle...

By WarMachine68 | 24

#6382302 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:13

Took me longer than it should have to realize the "f" word was "fired".

Steve95401 | 48

#6382318 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:23

Same with me.

MissCloudy249 | 14

#6382321 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:24

Honestly, I didn't even realize until I read your comment. I thought OP just said "fuck", but "fired" makes a lot more sense now...

LilMissCanadian | 22

#6382334 - Sunday 16 August 2015 07:36

I didn't even know! Wow I totally misread that.

zarrganaut | 17

#6382354 - Sunday 16 August 2015 08:15

Same here! Haha

WD_Stevens | 22

#6382403 - Sunday 16 August 2015 10:00

Wow. It makes a lot more sense now. I was kinda expecting comments decrying the use of swearing in a professional sense.

Taolan | 23

#6382423 - Sunday 16 August 2015 10:52

Yep.

I_Like_Dogs | 28

#6382542 - Sunday 16 August 2015 03:35

I spent a relatively long time wondering why the hell OP said "fuck" while firing someone. Then I felt stupid.

yaoi_chan | 8

#6382559 - Sunday 16 August 2015 04:02

Lol now only I realized thanks to ur comment . I first thought the op deserved it for not handling it in a formal way or sth. Oh well

ShyVi | 18

#6382796 - Sunday 16 August 2015 08:10

I read the FML like 6 times wondering why an employer would use the F word, even when firing someone. Then after reading this comment, it all made sense.

CoffeeChickBlows | 13

#6382803 - Sunday 16 August 2015 08:23

I know you'll get over defensive and bury me, but seriously? You and nearly 500 people who upvoted you? It's called context and basic reading skills, people.