By Anonymous - 29/01/2015 21:17 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 952
You deserved it 16 712

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Since it was a one night stand, maybe you can calmly slip out, unlike your fart.

Honestly, how could you not tell it was that kind of fart coming down the pipes? Usually those feel different man. Still, sucks to be you right now. Hope she didn't go ape shit.

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Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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I would've preferred a "Wow, that's a shitty situation."

No it's a bit nice to have a shitty pun phrased differently for once.

no, it's a bit nice to stop all the shitty puns for good.

the only shitty things here are these puns

Comment number one paraphrased: That sucks. Comment number two paraphrased: That sucks. Ya'll are too fucking picky, at least be consistent in your voting. It's all the same shit, #2's comment is even worse than #1's. At least #1 tried.

@37 what should I have said instead..?

#67 - Something of substance, instead of being a safe "sympathy" commenter. Yeah, we know the FML sucks, it's an FML. We only occasionally need to say it doesn't suck because it's contrary to what we expect.

@67 Okay I'm sorry. I will try harder the next time I comment.

Wow I didn't know there were rules on commenting. Pretty stupid to get so worked up over a couple of sentences if you ask me.

There are no commenting rules other than the unspoken but understood: Don't be offensive and idiotic rule. Saying that something is f'd up or sucks is another way of showing support that they aren't wrong that their FML is legitimate. It is simple but no worse than The ones saying I am sorry you experienced that. No use freaking out over that.

Wow that seriously sucks. I'm so sorry op.

Well that stinks

Run Op, Run!

It sounds like OP had the runs.

Sounds more like the squirts.

GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS A SHITTY SITUATION WOW Really though, we need to know what happened next, OP.

It became a one night stand because she kicked him out and said don't call.

Honestly, how could you not tell it was that kind of fart coming down the pipes? Usually those feel different man. Still, sucks to be you right now. Hope she didn't go ape shit.

I'm guessing his muscle's were loose at the moment and he couldn't control it

I thought I was farting and shit myself

You can't always predict sharting. It happens

i presume this is not the right moment to make a "where will you be when the diarhea hits?" joke. right? because that sucks donkey balls

That was horrifying for both of you I'm sure..

Since it was a one night stand, maybe you can calmly slip out, unlike your fart.

Hopefully if he did or does do that in future one night stands and slip out without a word he doesn't see her later...he might get shamed publicly by the girl and her friends...

"Today, I woke up after a one night stand. There was crap in my bed and the guy was nowhere to be seen."

He was kind enough to hold it in so there would beano hard feelings. Butt after the romance died so did his luck. I hope she can put up with your **** and give you another chance.

Hopefully she's a deep sleeper so she didn't wake up from that. But if she did, then I wouldn't know what to do either. You have my prayers, OP.

I thought that symbol meant female.